From the Sandbox | The Sandbox Series | Workplace & Campus Issues Blog

WHEN FLIRTING AT WORK TURNS IN TO AN HR COMPLAINT: WHAT PROFESSIONALS SHOULD DO NEXT

Mon, 09 Mar 2026 03:25:12 GMT

He Thought She Was Flirting… Then HR Called: What To Do When Workplace Signals Get Misread

He said: “I thought she was flirting with me at the water cooler. I asked her out. Then she filed a sexual harassment complaint.”

I’ve heard variations of this story many times during my 30-year legal career and in conversations with professionals navigating complicated workplace dynamics.

When something like this happens, people often feel confused, angry, or blindsided.

But the reality is this:

Perception — not intention — is what determines how workplace conduct is judged.

And once a complaint reaches Human Resources, the situation must be handled carefully and professionally.

Before reacting emotionally or defensively, it’s important to understand how these situations unfold and what the smartest response looks like.

Why Misunderstandings Happen

Workplace interactions can sometimes blur the lines between friendliness, professional rapport, and personal interest.

What one person interprets as harmless flirting may feel uncomfortable or unwelcome to someone else.

This is particularly important in professional environments where:

power dynamics exist
reputations matter
and the organization has a legal obligation to investigate complaints

Since the #MeToo movement of 2019, companies have become much more vigilant about addressing workplace conduct that could be perceived as harassment.

That’s not necessarily a bad thing.

Healthy workplaces require clear boundaries, respect, and accountability.

If You Receive a Complaint, Do Not Panic

��The first thing professionals should understand is that a complaint is not the same as a finding of wrongdoing.

HR investigations exist to gather information and determine whether workplace policies were violated.

However, how you respond in the early stages can significantly influence the outcome.

What You Should Do Immediately

✅Stay Calm and Professional

Your first instinct may be to defend yourself passionately or contact the person directly to “clear things up.”

Don’t.

Attempting to resolve the issue privately can complicate the investigation or be interpreted as pressure.

Let the process unfold.

✅Cooperate With HR

Human Resources will typically ask questions about:

what happened
when interactions occurred
whether anyone else witnessed them.

➡️Answer honestly and professionally.

➡️Avoid speculation or emotional commentary.

➡️Stick to the facts.

✅ Document What You Remember

As soon as possible, write down:

the context of your interactions
the conversations that occurred
any witnesses present
and any relevant communications.

==>Memories fade quickly, and contemporaneous notes can help ensure accuracy later.

Do Not Retaliate

Even if the complaint feels unfair, retaliation is one of the most serious violations of workplace policy.

Avoid:

confronting the person
discussing the complaint with coworkers
or attempting to influence others involved in the investigation

Maintain professionalism at all times.

The Bigger Lesson: Workplace Signals Are Not Always Clear

One of the most common mistakes professionals make is assuming that friendly or flirtatious behavior automatically means romantic interest.

The workplace is not a social environment where signals are always interpreted the same way.

And once personal invitations enter the equation, the interaction moves into a different category entirely.

That’s why many organizations strongly discourage — or even prohibit — romantic relationships between colleagues, particularly where power imbalances exist .

The Real Rule

If you’re unsure whether your interest is welcome in a professional setting, the safest strategy is simple:

Don’t act on it.

Protecting your professionalism and reputation should always come first.

Romance is personal.

Your career is long-term strategy.

Why Respect and Boundaries Matter

Workplaces function best when everyone feels safe, respected, and able to focus on their work without discomfort or pressure.

That requires:

clear boundaries
professional judgment
and an awareness that behavior can be perceived differently than intended

==>Understanding these dynamics is essential for both men and women navigating modern professional environments.

Closing Thought

Situations like this are rarely simple.

But they are reminders of an important truth:

==>Professional environments thrive on transparency, fairness, and respect.

Those principles are at the heart of my book:

�� Play Nice: Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace

Because respect at work is not automatic.

It must be understood, practiced, and protected.

==> If navigating complicated workplace dynamics matters to you, Play Nice offers a framework many professionals wish they had learned much earlier.

WORKPLACE DATING IN 2026: SMART MOVE OR CAREER RISK?

Thu, 05 Mar 2026 04:20:11 GMT

WORKPLACE DATING IN 2026: SMART MOVE OR CAREER RISK?

Romance at work isn’t new.

But in 2026, it carries more legal, reputational, and strategic risk than ever before.

More than half of employees admit to having dated a colleague. It’s not surprising. We spend most of our waking hours at work. Shared goals, long hours, pressure, collaboration — proximity breeds connection.

Some workplace relationships lead to marriage.

Others lead to HR investigations.

The question isn’t whether office relationships happen.

The question is: Are you playing smart?

Why Workplace Relationships Are More Complicated Today

The modern workplace is under heightened scrutiny:

Title VII enforcement is expanding
Companies are reviewing power dynamics more closely
DEI programs are being legally examined
Retaliation claims are rising
Leadership accountability is non-negotiable

One relationship can create:

Conflict-of-interest concerns
Perceived favoritism
Claims of coercion
Team morale issues
Reputational damage
Termination of one — or both — employees

And if there is a reporting structure involved? The risk multiplies with power dynamics.

The Power Imbalance Problem

Dating between a superior and subordinate is not simply “personal.”

It is inherently a power dynamic.

Even if consensual. Even if mutual. Even if sincere.

Companies now recognize that when a relationship ends, the organization bears the risk:

Allegations of retaliation
Claims of hostile work environment
Promotions interpreted as favoritism
Executive credibility erosion

We’ve seen CEOs removed for relationships that technically violated internal policies. The message from corporate governance is clear:

Leadership is accountable for boundaries.

The Reputation Reality (Especially for Women)

Despite progress, perception remains uneven.

Research continues to show that women often bear disproportionate reputational damage in workplace romances — particularly when a power differential exists.

Even when the relationship is consensual.

Even when performance is strong.

Fair? No.

Real? Yes.

Strategic professionals must understand both law and perception.

If You Still Choose to Date a Colleague:

Pause first.

Ask yourself:

What is the company’s written policy?
Is there a reporting or disclosure requirement?
Does this relationship create a supervisory conflict?
If this ends badly, can we still work together professionally?
Would I be comfortable if leadership reviewed our emails and messages?

Then follow these smart boundaries:

Disclose if required
Never use company funds or devices for the benefit of your relationship
Avoid public workplace displays of affection
Do not allow business decisions to intersect with personal interests
Keep social media separate
Avoid direct reporting lines

And most importantly:

Do not assume secrecy will protect you.

It rarely does. Disclose your relationship.

The Hard Question

If the relationship ends and someone must leave —

Who do you think the company will retain?

The higher revenue generator?

The senior executive?

The person with institutional leverage?

Don’t assume merit alone will control the outcome.

Workplace decisions are business decisions.

The Bigger Cultural Issue

A healthy workplace culture reduces risk.

Organizations that:

Train leaders regularly
Encourage bystander intervention
Maintain clear anti-retaliation policies
Promote transparency

Are far less likely to see relationships devolve into litigation.

This is why I wrote Play Nice: Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace .

Because dignity and professionalism protect careers — and companies.

Bottom Line

Workplace romance is not automatically reckless.

But it is never neutral.

In today’s compliance-driven environment, one emotional decision can create legal exposure, leadership fallout, and long-term reputational damage.

Before you date a colleague, ask yourself:

Are you playing with emotion? Or are you Playing Smart ?

For professionals and leaders who want to build cultures of dignity, respect, and accountability, Play Nice provides the roadmap. If you want practical strategies for navigating power, perception, and professionalism in complex workplaces, start with Play Smart .

Learn the rules. Protect your reputation. Advance strategically.

Available on Amazon and at TheSandboxSeries.com

WOMEN ONLY WORK EVENT: DISCRIMINATORY AGAINST MEN?

Thu, 26 Feb 2026 04:02:18 GMT

WOMEN ONLY WORK EVENTS: DISCRIMINATORY AGAINST MEN?

Legal Backlash Over Women-Only Work Events — What It Means for DEI & Career Strategy

The news that the EEOC has filed a sex-discrimination lawsuit against a Coca-Cola bottler for holding an all-women professional networking event is surprising — even shocking to many. ��
According to the federal complaint, Coca-Cola Beverages Northeast hosted a paid two day women-only networking forum in September, 2024, drawing around 250 female employees with professional development, speakers, team-building, hotel accommodations, and time off — all of which male employees were not invited to enjoy. In a statement announcing the case, acting general counsel Catherine L. Eschbach stated “Excluding men from an employer-sponsored event is a Title VII violation [of the Civil Rights Act of 1964] that the EEOC will act to remedy through litigation when necessary” — and is seeking relief on behalf of a male employee who said he suffered harm as a result.

The lawsuit argues that male employees missed out on both tangible benefits and professional opportunities and is seeking financial damages for those impacted, citing “emotional pain, suffering, inconvenience, [and] mental anguish” in addition to lost compensation.

This is the first lawsuit of its kind targeting workplace diversity initiatives under the current EEOC leadership, and it comes amid broader federal scrutiny of DEI programs and career development initiatives — including a separate EEOC review of Nike’s alleged practices of discrimination against white employees.

So What’s Really Going On?

For decades — literally generations — men have had and continue to have informal, often exclusive networking opportunities at every level of corporate America without legal second-guessing. Think golf outings, hunting trips, men’s clubs, “boys’ lunch,” or industry mixers that have historically excluded women.

Women’s networking programs are generally designed to counterbalance structural bias and underrepresentation in male-dominated fields, not to marginalize men.

But in the eyes of the EEOC here, excluding men from an employer-paid event — even for development or empowerment — may constitute unlawful discrimination under federal employment law.

That’s a legal interpretation that could have far-reaching implications.

Why This Matters for Women & Organizations

This lawsuit feels hypocritical to many. Why? Because women’s networking and development programs have long been recognized as a response to:

historic exclusion from informal male networks
uneven access to mentorship and sponsorship
slower advancement, especially in male-dominated sectors like law, tech, and finance

If policies intended to support equity become viewed as discriminatory in themselves, organizations might rethink or even abandon them — out of fear of lawsuits rather than out of a belief in fairness.

And that raises real questions:

Does the intent of an event matter?
Should context — historical barriers and power imbalances — factor into how we think about workplace development programs?
Will future networking or mentoring programs have to include all employees equally — even if the goal was to support women who’ve historically lacked access?

What This Means for Career Strategy

As someone who navigated male-dominated environments for 30+ years and wrote Play Niceand Play Smart to share practical strategies for women’s advancement, here’s what this signals:

�� Networking and development opportunities are vital.

They’re not perks — they are strategy. And for many women, they fill gaps that systemic male networks once filled by default.

�� But how they are structured matters — legally AND strategically.

Companies might need to rethink how to design programs that are inclusive in participation yet effective in leveling the playing field.

�� Women — especially those early in their career — must build career capital through multiple channels:

✔ Mentorship

✔ Sponsors

✔ Skills and results

✔ Visibility

✔ Professional relationships across gender

Programs help — but nothing replaces a network you build proactively and strategically.

Final Thought

This isn’t just about a Coca-Cola bottler or workplace law.

It’s about the tension between equity initiatives and legal definitions of fairness.

It challenges us to be smarter — and more intentional — about how we empower underrepresented professionals without triggering unintended consequences.

Whether you agree with the lawsuit or not, one thing is clear:

Strategy beats panic.

If organizations want to support women’s advancement, they must create opportunities that are both powerful and lawfully inclusive.

And as professionals — especially women navigating male-dominated industries — you need multiple strategies to build influence and opportunity regardless of structure. That’s the kind of career insight Play Smart is all about.

Join the Conversation. What do you think? should companies be able to host women-only development events? Is this lawsuit a necessary clarification or a step backward?

If this topic resonates with you, I invite you to explore more tools and real-world strategies in Play Nice and Play Smart . I write these resources because every woman deserves the confidence, clarity, and respect she needs to thrive at work.

Career Goals and Practical Resolutions for Women in Business (2026)

Thu, 12 Feb 2026 03:55:01 GMT

What I Wish I Knew at 25:
Career Goals and Practical Resolutions for Women in Business (2026)

Early in my career, I was told success would come from doing good work, keeping my head down, and waiting to be noticed, and I believed it. Sound familiar?

That belief cost me time. Working more than 30 years in male-dominated environments taught me this very important lesson:

➡️ Careers don’t advance by accident. They advance through clarity, strategy, and intentional action.

As we begin 2026, here are the career goals and practical resolutions I wish I had understood — and followed — from the very beginning of my career:

These goals are not meant to be tackled all at once — and they are not independent of each other. They work as a career system. Each one builds on the next, helping you move from clarity, to competence, to confidence, to credibility — without burnout. When practiced together, they give you control over your career instead of leaving progress to chance.

#1 Set Clear Career Goals and Follow Through (Career Planning for Women)

➡️ Talent isn’t what holds most women back. Why vague career goals stall women’s advancement.

At 25, I thought building confidence comes first — and then I’d act. In reality, confidence comes from action.

Most women don’t lack ambition. They lack clarity about what action to take to move themselves forward.

Early-career goals tend to center on the same core outcomes:

Growth and advancement
Visibility and credibility
Fair pay and opportunity
Job options and long-term security

What gets in the way is self-doubt — and goals that live only in our heads. We must - learn how to set measurable career goals that lead to promotion.

✅ Smart Resolution: How to clarify your career direction.

Ask one trusted person (preferably a superior who can act as a mentor - more on this later) for honest feedback — not praise. Ask someone who you admire at the company, someone who is highly respected, and who may have worked with you in the past. Let him or her know that you are interested in taking a hard look at how you are doing and what you can do to propel your trajectory at the company. Let them know you value their opinion and would sincerely appreciate their help.

Based on your conversations, write down:

What you do well
Where you’re stuck
Where you could grow
Where you would like to see yourself next

Then, set specific, measurable goals:

Skills to build - to help you propel
Training to pursue - to build those skills
People to meet - to support your progress and provide opportunities
Visibility to gain - what actions to take to be seen and heard

And here is the key:

Goals don’t work if they’re forgotten. Revisit your goals regularly and determine if you are on track. Schedule a follow up with your trusted person or mentor to determine progress or any adjustments needed. Taking the initiative to improve yourself for the benefit of the company, will likely be noticed and valued.

#2 Build Skills and Hold Yourself Accountable for Career Growth

Once you’re clear on where you want to go, the next question is simple: do you have the skills to get there?

➡️ Why experience alone is not enough for career advancement. Women need high-value skills to stay competitive.

I’ve seen careers stall because people stopped learning — and others take off because they committed to growth.

✅ Smart Resolution: Monthly accountability for career progress.

Choose one high-value skill at a time to develop deeply:

Executive communication
Negotiation
Financial fluency
Leadership presence

Then hold yourself accountable. Once a month, check in:

What moved me forward?
What didn’t?
What needs to change?

➡️ Accountability turns intention into progress — and progress builds trust.

#3 Document Your Achievements to Support Promotions and Raises

Skills only matter if the value they create is recognized — and recognition doesn’t happen without proof.

➡️ Why relying on memory hurts women during performance reviews

Most women rely on memory when it’s important to share achievements. Whether during company status meetings, check-in visits with your superior or mentor, during performance reviews, or when you are meeting to ask for a raise — and that’s a mistake. Memory fades. Documentation doesn’t. I’ve watched incredibly capable women undersell themselves simply because they couldn’t recall — or prove — what they had accomplished.

✅ Smart Resolution: Using documentation as career leverage

Keep a running “ wins list ”:

Positive results delivered
Important problems solved
Revenue or value created
Successful presentations given
Noteworthy skills added
Praise received from colleagues and clients
Expanded responsibilities beyond your job description
Important leadership moments
New work or clients/customers generated for the company

If you keep a running list and update it regularly, you will remember what to share when the opportunity arises. If a senior colleague or client/customer compliments your work, ask them to put it in writing. This is important evidence.

Documentation isn’t bragging. It’s proof — and proof changes conversations about raises, promotions, and leadership roles.

That isn’t awkward — it’s strategic. And it positively affects your visibility. Men do it all the time, and so should you.

#4 Practice Speaking Up at Work to Increase Visibility and Influence

Once you have results, the next challenge is making sure your ideas and contributions are heard.

➡️ Why being quiet at work is often misinterpreted

If you’re quiet at work, you may be invisible — even if you’re brilliant. Being quiet is often interpreted as being agreeable — not capable. Speaking up is not a personality trait. It’s a career skill — and one that can be learned.

Your ideas don’t help if no one hears them.

Over my 30-year career in male-dominated environments, I’ve sat in rooms where speaking up wasn’t always welcomed — but it was necessary. Decisions were being made. Perspectives were shaping outcomes. Silence carried a cost.

✅ Smart Resolution: Practical ways to use your voice at work

➡️ Start with preparation. Confidence doesn’t come from bravado — it comes from knowing your material.

Read ahead
Understand the business context
Identify one insight you can contribute
Speaking up isn’t about being loud or dominating the room. It’s about being heard.

➡️ Start small:

Ask one thoughtful question
Add one insight to an existing discussion
Volunteer to present results or summarize a project
Practice with people you trust. Take on presentations. Stretch just beyond your comfort zone.
And yes — it’s uncomfortable. Growth usually is.

➡️ Confidence grows through repetition, not perfection. The more you practice speaking up, the less risky it feels — and the more visible your value becomes.

#5 Advocate for Yourself at Work Without Fear of Backlash

Speaking up builds confidence — advocacy turns that confidence into opportunity.

Why confidence alone doesn’t lead to promotion:

➡️ Visibility doesn’t happen by accident.

➡️ Confidence without advocacy often goes unnoticed.

➡️ Advocating for yourself doesn’t mean being loud or aggressive. It means being clear.

✅ Smart Resolution: Self-advocacy strategies that work

Use your documented achievements to:
Ask for bigger projects
Share results
Speak up about your value
Speak up about your work above your job specifications
Request raises or advancement

This isn’t self-promotion for ego. It’s professional communication — and it’s essential.

At this point, a pattern should be emerging. Each of these goals builds on the last — clarity leads to competence, competence to confidence, and confidence to credibility. This is not about doing more. It’s about doing the right things in the right order.

#6: Find Mentors, Sponsors, and Feedback That Accelerate Careers

The most effective mentorship happens after you’ve taken ownership of your goals and performance.

➡️ Careers don’t grow in isolation.

Success rarely happens alone.

A mentor is someone with senior career experience who can answer questions, offer advice, foster confidence, and help you navigate the obstacles of your work environment. A mentor gives relevant advice that promotes growth within your career, area of work, and company, making you better at your job and improving your performance. They understand the work culture and the people of influence and inspire you to use your talents to benefit the company and yourself. You can find mentors inside or outside of your workplace.

A mentor can help you avoid mistakes you don’t even see yet — but mentorship works best when it’s intentional.

✅ Smart Resolution: Building strategic guidance early

Don’t ask, “Will you be my mentor?”

Instead:

Identify someone whose career you respect
Engage with their work and perform to the best of your ability
Ask for specific guidance, not general advice
And don’t stop there.

Ask for feedback — not just from mentors, but from supervisors and colleagues you work with closely:

What worked?
What didn’t?
What would you do differently next time?

Feedback isn’t criticism — unless you avoid it. And when you ask for it, people notice.

A Critical Distinction: How Mentorship differs from Sponsorship

Here’s something I wish someone had explained to me much earlier in my career: mentors and sponsors are not the same — and you need both.

➡️ How mentorship differs from sponsorship:

Mentors advise you and you can have mentors inside and outside of work.
They help you think through decisions, avoid mistakes, and build confidence.
Sponsors do something different.
They advocate for you when you’re not in the room.
They recommend you for opportunities, assignments, promotions, and leadership roles.
Many women actively seek mentors — but never realize that sponsorship is often what accelerates careers.

✅ Smart Resolution: Building strategic guidance early

As you build relationships with mentors, pay attention to who:

Sees your work up close
Respects your judgment
Has influence in decision-making rooms

Those are the people most likely to become sponsors — often organically — when they trust your competence and consistency.

You don’t ask someone to be a sponsor.

➡️ You earn sponsorship by delivering results, documenting your impact, and making your goals known. Sponsors must be convinced of your abilities. If sponsors believe in you, they will be your best advocates.

✅ Understanding this distinction early can save years of frustration — and silence.

#7 Build a Professional Network Before You Think You Need One

��Careers don’t advance in isolation — they advance through relationships built over time.

➡️ Why networking doesn’t have to feel awkward

Many women avoid networking because they associate it with forced conversations and business card exchanges. I did too — until I understood how powerful it could be.

Here’s the truth:

Networking doesn’t mean selling yourself. It means building relationships and relationships create career opportunities. One real connection a month can change your career trajectory over time. After decades in a male-dominated industry, I learned that opportunities often come from who knows your work, not just how hard you work.

✅ Smart Resolution: Simple networking habits that compound

➡️ Start with people you already know:

Friends
Colleagues
Alumni
Family
Friends of friends

Say yes to events when you can. Ask questions. Be curious. Listen more than you talk.

And here’s the part many people miss: FOLLOW UP. Send a note. Schedule coffee. Meet for lunch. Keep simple notes on who you meet and how they connect to your interests or goals.

➡️ Networking works best when it’s consistent and genuine — not transactional.

You’re not collecting contacts. You’re building a professional community.

#8 Build Career Visibility Intentionally (Not Accidentally)

Visibility should amplify substance — not replace it.

➡️ Being good at your job is important. Being seen doing it is essential.

Why good work alone doesn’t guarantee recognition:

Many women assume visibility will come naturally once they prove themselves. Unfortunately, that’s not how workplaces operate. Visibility is built — intentionally.

➡️ How to increase visibility without self-promotion:

It’s created through:

Speaking up
Sharing results
Asking for opportunities
Being clear about your goals

This doesn’t mean self-promotion for ego.

It means professional clarity.

✅ Smart Resolution: Making impact visible at work

Make your contributions visible in ways that feel authentic:

Share outcomes, not just effort
Loop stakeholders in when milestones are reached
Speak to impact of your actions — not just activity

➡️ Visibility is what turns competence into credibility — and credibility into opportunity.

W hen combined with:

documented achievements
mentorship and sponsorship
skill-building and accountability

… visibility becomes the bridge between effort and advancement.

#9: Protect Work–Life Balance as a Long-Term Career Strategy

➡️ Work–life balance isn’t a luxury. It’s a performance strategy.

Why burnout undermines leadership potential:

Burnout is not a badge of honor.

The most successful professionals I’ve worked with understood one thing early:

Energy is a professional asset.

✅ Smart Resolution: Sustainable success habits

Treat personal priorities with the same respect as work commitments.
Protect thinking time.
Schedule rest.
Set boundaries that support focus and sustainability.

➡️ Careers are marathons, not sprints.

➡️ Longevity matters.

�� Why All Of These Goals Work Together

These goals aren’t separate tasks — they’re a system:

Clear goals create direction
Documentation creates leverage
Advocacy creates visibility
Mentorship builds insight — sponsorship builds momentum
Skills and accountability create progress
A healthy balance creates sustainability

➡️ Together, they give you clarity, confidence, and control over your career.

A Final Thought

If I could go back and give my 25-year-old self one message, it would be this:

✅ Don’t wait to be ready. Be intentional.

If you want a practical roadmap I wish I’d had earlier — including real-world strategies for navigating male-dominated workplaces — my new book, Play Smart - Playground Strategies for Success in a Male-Dominated Workplace , was written for you. Many of these lessons — from speaking up to networking strategically — are the skills I break down in Play Smart , because no one teaches us this early enough.

➡️ Your career deserves more than hope.

➡️ It deserves a plan.

WHAT 2025 TAUGHT WOMEN ABOUT WORKPLACE CHANGE

Wed, 14 Jan 2026 03:32:34 GMT

What 2025 Taught Women About Workplace Change

If 2025 taught us one thing about work as women, it’s this:

�� The workplace is changing fast but not always in ways that make it easier for women to advance.

And to thrive, not just survive, we must understand what is changing, why, and how to navigate it with confidence, strategy, and alignment.

Here’s what this year has revealed, with implications for every woman in the workforce:

1. Women’s Career Support and Opportunities Are Declining But Purpose Still Matters

The latest Women in the Workplace report from McKinsey & Company shows a troubling trend: Fewer companies are prioritizing women’s advancement, and for the first time, there’s a measurable gap between how many women vs men want promotions. This phenomenon isn’t about ability — it’s about opportunity and support.

Women continue to face a “broken rung” at the first promotion step, senior women report higher burnout, and flexibility stigma (penalizing remote work) disproportionately affects women’s careers more than men’s.

�� What this teaches us:

✔ Companies can retreat from progress if they don’t intentionally protect it.

✔ Women don’t lack ambition. They’re discouraged by systems that don’t reliably reward effort with advancement.

✔ True career progress requires visibility, sponsorship, advocacy, and strategy.

==> This year showed that women must chart career paths strategically — not rely on systems that can change with policy or leadership. Your career narrative belongs to you.

2. Flexible Work Is No Longer a Perk — It’s a Gender Equity Issue

In 2025, reports underscored a truth women have known for years: flexible work isn’t optional — it’s essential for gender equality . UN Women and other global organizations highlighted that flexible arrangements support women’s disproportionate caregiving responsibilities and reduce barriers to sustained employment.

Yet many companies are pulling back remote and hybrid options — and the impact is real. Women who work remotely are less likely to be promoted than those in person, a dynamic that threatens parity and retention.

This taught us:

✔ Flexibility isn’t just convenience — it is career-enabling flexibility.

✔ Women must advocate for arrangements that allow them to thrive in all dimensions of life — and companies must adapt or risk losing talent.

In 2025, the conversation shifted from “should we offer flexibility?” to “we must if we want equity.”

3. Workplace Technology and AI Are Reshaping Skills and Expectations

The rise of AI and digital transformation continues to reshape jobs — and women are right in the middle of this shift. Global workforce surveys suggest leaders must provide clarity, trust, and supportive cultures to navigate AI changes effectively.

�� For women, this means:

✔ Embracing upskilling in emerging technologies and human-plus-AI competencies.

✔ Cultivating strategic thinking and adaptability.

✔ Leveraging technology to enhance impact, not replace presence.

==> Tech transformation isn’t just a trend — it’s a pivot point for women who want influence and leadership in future workplaces.

4. Women Are Redefining Work, Ambition, and Career Success

2025 highlighted a cultural shift — not just a statistical one.

�� Across industries and generations:

✔ Women are questioning traditional models of advancement.

✔ Some are opting out of promotions that compromise well-being.

✔ Others are demanding meaning over metrics.

✔ Younger professionals are reimagining success around purpose, balance, and values.

Workplace trends like “career shrekking,” “conscious unbossing,” and prioritizing mental health reflect an emerging mindset: career fulfillment is more than a title.

�� This cultural evolution teaches us that:

✔Women are not just climbing ladders — they’re reshaping what ladders look like.

✔Alignment between work and identity is a professional advantage — not a luxury.

✔Career success increasingly includes sustainability, boundaries, and self-defined achievement.

5. Burnout, Stigma, and Advocacy Won’t Fix Themselves

Women leaders continue to report higher burnout and job insecurity than their male peers, despite strong performance and commitment.

What 2025 taught is clear:

�� Organizations must invest in women’s careers with intention — not assume equity will happen on its own.

This means:

✔more sponsorship and mentorship

✔equitable performance evaluation

✔ transparency in promotion pipelines

✔recognition of non-visible contributions

==> But women can’t wait for organizations to fix everything. Every woman must own her professional narrative, advocate for her needs, and build strategic visibility for long-term progression.

�� What Women Should Do in Response

If 2025 has taught us anything, it is this:

✔ Own Your Career Narrative.

Your voice matters. Your accomplishments should be visible. Your ambition should be strategic — not silent.

✔ Demand (and Model) Flexibility as Equity.

Not just for convenience, but for career sustainability.

✔ Upskill and Leverage Tech.

AI and digital skills are no longer optional — they are career currency.

✔ Build Strategic Networks.

Sponsorship, advocacy, and meaningful professional relationships create opportunities, not chance.

✔ Align Purpose and Metrics.

Success isn’t a metric — it’s a lived experience. Align it with values, strength, and identity.

�� Why This Matters for Women and for Leaders

2025 reminds us that progress isn’t linear. Setbacks can happen. But intentional careers — built with strategy, clarity, and resilience — endure.

That’s why I wrote Play Smart: Playground Strategies for Success in a Male-Dominated Workforce.

��Play Smart gives women practical tools to:

✔ navigate workplace dynamics

✔ own their professional stories

✔ advocate for influence and respect

✔ build careers that honor both performance and personal integrity

�� If you’re ready to turn adversity into advantage, Play Smart is for you.

Order your copy here

HOW TO ASK FOR A RAISE THE SMART WAY

Tue, 23 Dec 2025 15:30:00 GMT

A Guide for Women on How to Ask For A Raise

Women work hard. Women deliver results. Women lead teams, generate revenue, prevent crises, build relationships, and keep companies running.

Yet, when it comes to asking for a raise, many hesitate.

You’re not alone.

Studies show that nearly two-thirds of employees have never asked for a raise, and when women learn they are paid less than men in similar roles, only 26% speak up. Many stay silent or leave — often taking their talent, skill, and institutional knowledge right out the door.

It’s time to rewrite that script.

Asking for a raise isn’t “pushy.” It isn’t “ungrateful.”

It is professional self-advocacy, a core leadership skill and an essential part of building the career you deserve.

Below is your step-by-step, confidence-building guide to asking for a raise the smart way.

1. Start With the Data: Build a Fact-Based Case

A raise request is strongest when it’s backed by facts, numbers, and achievements — not how long you’ve been at the company.

Before you ask, gather:

✔ Market research: Use tools like Glassdoor, PayScale, and LinkedIn Salary Insights to compare your role, experience, and region.

✔ Your measurable accomplishments

Include:

- Revenue you helped generate

- Clients you brought in or retained

- Efficiency improvements

- Projects delivered ahead of schedule

- Results that exceeded expectations

✔ Your professional growth: Highlight new skills, certifications, mentorship roles, committee involvement, or cross-department collaborations.

==>Your goal: Prove your value today, not the value you had when you were first hired.

2. Track Your Wins — and Share Them

Women often do the work quietly, hoping to be noticed.

Men often do the opposite — and get rewarded for it.

==>Don’t wait for the next performance review to showcase your value.

Keep a running list of:

✔ Metrics you influenced in a positive manner

✔ Major wins

✔ Praise from clients or colleagues

✔ Expanded responsibilities you’ve taken on

✔ Noteworthy skills added

✔ Important leadership moments

✔ High-pressure situations navigated well

==> Then share updates periodically and professionally with your manager throughout the year.

�� This helps prevent your work from becoming invisible.

3. Timing Matters — Ask at the Right Moment

You’ll see the strongest results when your timing aligns with:

✔ The successful completion of a major project

✔ A recent positive review

✔ A moment where your contributions are especially visible

✔ Your company’s review or budget cycle

And avoid:

- Days when your manager seems overwhelmed

- Moments of company financial stress

- Times of internal restructuring

�� Remember: A “yes” requires readiness on their side as much as yours.

4. Set Up the Conversation Professionally

Never spring a raise request on your manager.

Instead, send an email or mention in-person:

“I’d like to schedule a time to discuss my role, responsibilities, and compensation in light of my recent contributions and market research.”

�� This does three important things:

✔ Shows respect

✔ Signals you're serious

✔ Allows them time to prepare

==> A prepared manager = a stronger likelihood of approval.

5. What to Say in the Meeting

Here’s a simple but powerful script structure:

→ Start with appreciation

“I enjoy my work here and am committed to contributing to our team’s success.”

→ Present your value

“Over the past year, I have accomplished __________, which resulted in __________.”

→ Cite your expanded role or responsibilities

“I am also now handling __________, which is not part of my original job scope.”

→ Present your research

“Based on market data for similar roles in our area, the competitive salary range is __________.”

→ Make the ask

“I would like to discuss adjusting my compensation to reflect my contributions and market value.”

→ Stay confident and quiet

Say it — then pause.

Silence is not your enemy. It’s a negotiation tool.

6. Handle Pushback the Smart Way

If you hear:

“It’s not in the budget.”

→ Ask: “Can we revisit this in six months? What specific goals should I meet to make that possible?”

“We’re giving you a new title instead.”

→ Titles don’t pay bills. Kindly say:

“I appreciate the recognition. I would like my compensation to reflect the scope of the role as well.”

“Everyone is tightening belts right now.”

→ Ask: “Is there a timeline when this conversation would be more appropriate?”

If the answer is “not now,” create a follow-up plan — in writing.

7. If You Get a “Yes,” Celebrate — and Document It

Ask for the agreement in writing, with:

✔ New salary

✔ Effective date

✔ Any changes in responsibilities

Then — enjoy your win. You earned it.

8. If the Answer Is No — Don’t Give Up

A “no” is not a permanent judgment.

Ask:

“What do I need to accomplish to be considered for a raise?”

“Can we set a follow-up meeting?”

“Can you help me prioritize goals to reach this level?”

Document everything.

==> If patterns emerge that suggest bias, inconsistency, or shifting expectations, keep those notes as you assess your long-term options.

�� Sometimes the smartest move is not just asking for a raise — but finding an employer who recognizes your worth.

9. Don’t Let Someone Take Credit for Your Work

Women disproportionately experience credit theft — sometimes subtle, sometimes blatant.

If you suspect it is happening:

✔ Speak up respectfully

✔ Document your contributions

✔ Clarify your role to decision-makers

�� Your work is yours. Protect it.

Final Thought: You Are Your Best Advocate

No one can build your career for you.

No one can speak your value more powerfully than you can.

Women who ask for raises:

- Earn more

- Get promoted faster

- Are seen as leaders

- Build stronger financial futures

�� And when you advocate for yourself, you show every woman around you that she can too.

For more strategies on navigating workplace power dynamics and advocating for yourself with confidence, explore my book Play Smart: Playground Strategies for Success in a Male-Dominated Workplace .

"You deserve to be paid what you’re worth — and you

deserve the confidence to ask for it"— Brigitte Kimichik

PREPARING FOR A PERFORMANCE REVIEW TO ADVANCE YOUR CAREER

Mon, 15 Dec 2025 15:45:00 GMT

HOW WOMEN CAN PREPARE FOR PERFORMANCE REVIEWS TO ADVANCE THEIR CAREERS

Most women struggle in performance reviews not because they lack ability but because the process was never designed with them in mind. But with the right preparation, you can turn your review into a powerful tool for visibility, recognition, and career advancement.

After 30 years practicing law in a high-pressure, male-dominated field, I’ve seen one pattern repeat itself every single review cycle:

�� Highly capable, hard-working women unintentionally sabotage their own performance reviews not because they lack skill, but because they’ve been conditioned to approach the process the wrong way.

Here are the most common mistakes women make in performance reviews and how you can better prepare to take back your power, your narrative, and your career trajectory:

Mistake #1: Believing Your Work Will Speak for Itself

This is the single biggest career myth women buy into. Women are taught to:

keep their heads down
work hard
stay humble
let their results “shine”

Meanwhile, your male peers are confidently:

taking credit
touting their achievements
ensuring leadership knows their impact
requesting stretch assignments
documenting their wins

Hard truth:

�� Your work does NOT speak for itself. You must speak for your work.

The Fix:

Walk into your end-of-year performance review with a Success List that includes:

=> metrics you influenced

=> major wins

=> praise from clients or colleagues

=> expanded responsibilities

=> skills added

=> leadership moments

=> high-pressure situations navigated well

�� If you don’t advocate for your success, you leave space for someone else’s narrative to take over.

Mistake #2: Going Into the Review Emotionally Unprepared

Even the strongest women feel their heart rate spike walking into a review. We grow up hearing messages like:

“Don’t be difficult.”
“Don’t be emotional.”
“Don’t upset anyone.”
“Don’t sound arrogant.”

So when constructive criticism comes, many women internalize it:

“I failed.”
“They’re disappointed in me.”
“Maybe I’m not as good as I thought.”
“I should’ve worked harder.”

Men, by contrast, tend to interpret feedback as tactical and unemotional:

“Good to know. What’s next?”

The Fix:

=> Prepare emotionally by:

=> practicing calm, neutral responses

=> planning your questions

=> grounding your breathing

=> separating your identity from your performance

=> treating feedback as information, not a verdict

Use phrases like:

=> “Thank you — what does success look like in that area?”

=> “Can you share a specific example so I can better understand the gap?”

=> “Here’s how I plan to address that moving forward.”

�� This is confidence. Not defensiveness.

Mistake #3: Underestimating the Power of Self-Advocacy

Women often fear that self-advocacy sounds:

- pushy

- self-promotional
- aggressive
- arrogant

But here’s what leaders actually think when a woman advocates for herself clearly and confidently:

=> She is committed to growth.
=> She knows her worth.
=> She understands the business.
=> She is leadership material.

�� The only time self-advocacy backfires is when a woman hasn’t prepared and therefore sounds unsure.

The Fix:

Bring in:

=> a clear value statement
=> a promotion timeline you want to raise
=> a list of expanded responsibilities
=> data showing your impact
=> goals for the upcoming year

Then say:

“Based on the work I’ve taken on this year and its outcomes, I’d like to discuss positioning myself for promotion within the next review cycle.”

It’s not arrogance. It’s strategy.

Mistake #4: Accepting Vague Feedback Without Challenging It

Women frequently walk out of reviews with feedback like:

“Be more confident.”

“Improve communication.”

“Increase visibility.”

“Be more assertive.”

“Work on executive presence.”

These phrases are subjective, often gendered, and impossible to execute without specifics.

Men are far more likely to say:

“What does that mean?”

“Can you be more specific?”

“What would improvement look like to you?”

The Fix:

Respond to vague feedback with:

=> “Can you give me a concrete example of what this looks like in practice?”
=> “How would I know when I’m demonstrating this effectively?”
=> “What specific situations did you have in mind?”

�� You turn ambiguity into action and protect yourself from inaccurate or biased assessments.

Mistake #5: Not Bringing Up Your Expanded Role or Invisible Work

Women often take on tasks that benefit the team but remain invisible on paper:

onboarding new hires
mentoring
organizing team activities
handling crises
emotional labor
supporting colleagues to meet deadlines
stepping into gaps without recognition

Men get rewarded for stepping up. Women get taken for granted.

The Fix:

Document your invisible work and articulate its impact.

Example:

“This year, I informally mentored two new team members and supported the team through three urgent project deadlines. These contributions improved workflow reliability and helped close X project on time.”

If you don’t name it, leadership assumes it “just gets done.”

Mistake #6: Thinking You Need to Be 100% Ready Before Asking for a Raise or Promotion

Women tend to wait until they’ve mastered every requirement.

Men ask when they’re at 60%.

Research confirms:

�� Women apply for promotions when they meet 100% of the criteria.

�� Men apply when they meet 60%.

This delays women’s advancement by YEARS.

The Fix:

If you’ve taken on work aligned with the next level, you deserve the title and compensation of that level.

Say:

“I’ve been performing responsibilities aligned with the next-level role, and I’d like to discuss aligning my title and compensation accordingly.”

That’s professionalism, not audacity.

Mistake #7: Forgetting That a Review Is a Two-Way Conversation

This is your career. Your future. Your growth.

You are not there to sit silently while being evaluated.

The Fix:

Ask strong questions:

=> “What are the expectations for me at the next level?”
=> “What skills should I prioritize next year?”
=> “What upcoming opportunities would allow me to demonstrate readiness for advancement?”
=> “How can I better support the team’s objectives?”

�� These questions reposition you as a strategic partner — not a passive participant.

Your End-of-Year Performance Review Is Something to Leverage, Not Fear.

Women often walk into reviews with anxiety. But the most successful women I’ve mentored walk in with:

purpose
preparation
data
strategy
confidence

�� Your end-of-year review is not the finish line. It’s your launch pad.

You deserve to walk into it — and out of it — fully empowered.

Learn More About Career Advancement for Women.

I’m Brigitte Gawenda Kimichik, JD, author of Play Smart: Playground Strategies for Success in a Male-Dominated Workplace and Play Nice: Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace , two essential guides for women navigating male-dominated workplaces.

To learn more about my books and how they can support your career growth:

Play Smart →

Play Nice →

Three Ways to Walk Into Your Performance Review With Confidence

Thu, 11 Dec 2025 22:15:00 GMT

Three Ways to Walk Into Your End-of-Year Performance Review with Confidence (Especially for Women in Male-Dominated Workplaces)

Performance review season can feel intimidating—especially for women working in male-dominated workplaces, where promotions often go to the loudest voice or the most visible contributor.

But here’s the truth:

�� Confidence isn’t something you magically have. It’s something you prepare for.

�� And preparation is the key to a strong performance review and career advancement.

After 30 years working in commercial real estate finance law—a world with nearly all male bosses—I learned how to walk into performance reviews with clarity, certainty, and impact. Here are the three strategies that change everything:

1. Create a “Success List” Before Your Review (Your Confidence Builder & Negotiation Tool)

One of the biggest mistakes women make is relying on memory. Don’t. Start a Performance Review Success List and update it all year with sufficient detail.

Include:

- major accomplishments

- difficult projects handled

- collaboration across departments

- contributions outside your job description

- expanded responsibilities, especially if at a higher level than your title reflects, including taking on duties of senior employees who have left your company but were not replaced, mentorship, leadership, or problem-solving

- metrics, financial impact, time saved, or positive client feedback

- training, seminars, or skills development that improved your performance

This list becomes:

- your confidence

- your evidence

- your case for a raise or promotion

�� Say: “I’ve pulled together a summary of my contributions this year to help guide our conversation. I’d love to walk through the impact I’ve had and discuss what growth could look like in the coming year.”

➡️ Managers often forget what you did nine months ago.

Your Success List reminds them.

2. Advocate for Yourself Clearly—and With Data

Self-advocacy is a leadership skill, not an act of arrogance.

Here are simple phrases that help women navigate performance reviews with professional authority:

- “Here’s how my role has expanded this year.”

- "Here's a list of my accomplishments for this year."

- “Here’s the business impact of my work for this year.”

- “Here’s where I’ve exceeded my job description.”

- “I’d like to discuss next steps for career advancement.”

- “Based on my contributions, I’d like to review my compensation.” (Check out my blog on negotiating a raise or compensation)

�� These statements signal:

- clarity

- leadership maturity

- readiness for the next level

➡️ Women often think they need more proof than men before asking.

You don’t. You need evidence + confidence, not perfection.

Plan. Storyboard. Rehearse. Prepare ahead of time.

Know what you want to do next.

- A promotion?

- Expanded responsibilities?

- A pathway to leadership?

- Higher-profile assignments?

- Skill development?

- Transition into a new area?

➡️ Demonstrate that you are invested in growth and alignment.

Ask:

- “What skills or behaviors would demonstrate I’m ready for the next level?”

- “Are there high-impact projects you recommend I take on this year?”

- “How can I better support the goals of the team and our department?”

Own your presence.

Sit tall. Shoulders back. Feet planted. No shrinking.

Maintain a calm, even tone - especially when discussing achievements.

Use pauses, to give your brain time to think and to give your manager time to absorb your message.

Make direct, clear requests, not demanding or apologetic.

Say:

- “Based on my expanded responsibilities and deliverables this year, I’d like to discuss a title update and next steps toward promotion.”

- “Given the contributions outlined here, I’d like to revisit compensation to ensure it aligns with my role and impact.”

➡️ You cannot “wing” a performance review and expect it to go well. Confident women look confident because they are prepared. Practice with a trusted friend. It is very important to update your superior on your successes and clearly communicate your desired trajectory. Don't walk in to the room thinking they are up to speed and will remember. They won't.

When you combine: Clear evidence of impact + A well-articulated growth vision + Strategic questions + Calm responses to feedback + Strong presence

…you walk in confidently, and you walk out with clarity, opportunity, and respect.

Turn Tough Feedback Into a Growth Roadmap

If you receive challenging or vague feedback, first, stay calm and thank them for their feedback, and then ask questions that convert criticism (sometimes vague criticism) into clarity.

Ask:

- “What parts of this feedback are actionable - what should I be doing differently?”

- “What does success look like to you moving forward?”

- “Can you share a specific example so I fully understand the expectation?”

- “What skills or resources would help me meet these goals?”

➡️ This shows professionalism—and managers respect people who seek clarity instead of becoming defensive .

Then, follow up later to show improvement. This is one of the strongest ways to build your professional reputation.

Final Thought: Confidence Is a Skill, Not a Personality Trait

If you want to grow in your career, especially in a male-dominated industry, your performance review is one of the most powerful tools you have.

✔️Walk in prepared.

✔️Walk in with data.

✔️Walk in with clarity about your value.

Your future self will thank you.

About the Author

I’m Brigitte Gawenda Kimichik, JD, author of Play Smart: Playground Strategies for Success in a Male-Dominated Workplace.

I help women:

✅ advocate for themselves

✅ navigate bias

✅ negotiate confidently

✅ advance in male-dominated industries

✅ build careers with purpose and power

For weekly insights, join out mailing list or visit:

�� www.thesandboxseries.com

WHAT I WISHED I KNEW AT 25 ABOUT THE IMPORTANCE OF PERFORMANCE REVIEWS

Tue, 09 Dec 2025 02:51:28 GMT

What I Wish I Knew at 25 About the Importance

of Performance Reviews

When I was 25, working in a male-dominated workplace, I treated my performance review like something to survive instead of something I could actually use to grow my career. Three decades later, after working under mostly male leadership in commercial real estate finance law, here’s the truth I wish someone had told me:

�� Your performance review is not just feedback. It’s a strategic career tool.

It’s your opportunity to:

strengthen your professional reputation,
advocate for yourself,
negotiate your value, and
clarify the expectations you’ll be judged on next year.

Most women are never taught this. And as a result, they are under-mentored, under-sponsored, and often under-promoted.

Why Your Performance Review Matters More Than You Think

A performance review is one of the few moments where leadership steps back and evaluates you in a formal, documented way. What you say in that room becomes part of your professional record.

This means your review directly impacts:

your salary,
your raise,
your bonuses,
your promotion track, and
your visibility within the company.

➡️ If you don’t take control of the narrative, someone else will.

What I Wish I Knew at 25 (So You Don’t Make the Same Mistakes)

1. You must document your wins all year long

My male colleagues were excellent at this. I was not. I worked incredibly hard, but I didn’t capture any of it. I assumed leadership saw it, remembered it, and valued it. They didn’t.

Do NOT walk into your review empty handed. All year long, keep a running list of your successes :

completed projects that were noteworthy and successful,
above-and-beyond contributions (working outside your comfort zone, helping colleagues in other section with successful outcomes),
taking on new job functions above your pay grade as a result of employees who left and were not replaced, which expanded your role and your responsibilities, and should trigger a new title and expanded salary considerations and a bonus,
metrics you influenced (revenue, efficiency, or reputation),
positive client or colleague feedback,
new skills or certifications you used to educate members in or outside of your section for the benefit and growth of the company, ways you helped solve problems.

➡️ This becomes your evidence, your Success Folder. YOU WENT ABOVE AND BEYOND AND ADDED VALUE FOR THE BENEFIT AND SUCCESS OF THE COMPANY - A POSITIVE IMPACT WHICH DESERVES TO BE REWARDED.

Human memory fades. Documentation doesn’t.

2. Your boss may not know everything you’ve done

Women often downplay their achievements because they fear appearing boastful. Men rarely have this hesitation. I learned this the hard way.

Leaders often see only 20–30% of your actual contributions unless you communicate regularly.

This isn’t bragging. Your male colleagues boast their achievements every chance they get.

Here’s the truth:

�� Advocating for yourself is not arrogance. It is professional responsibility.

�� If you don’t speak about your contributions, others will fill in the silence and maybe not in your favor.

➡️ Your review is the perfect time to articulate your value clearly and confidently.

It’s accurate reporting of your value. Record-keeping. The foundation of your review.

Without documentation → performance is subjective.

With documentation → performance is undeniable.

3. The performance review is the place to advocate for career growth

If your role has expanded, or you’re performing above your level, this is where you connect the dots:

“My responsibilities now include X, Y, and Z. Based on this expanded role beyond my title, I’d like to discuss a compensation review and promotion path to the next level.”

Women are often socialized to wait to be recognized.

Men ask. And they get promoted earlier because of it.

➡️ If your job has outgrown your title, your review is your opportunity to realign your compensation, title, or both.

4. Negative feedback isn’t a career death sentence, it’s a roadmap

Early in my career, constructive criticism felt personal. Now I see it as the cheat code for career growth.

When you hear tough feedback, the most productive mindset is curiosity, not defensiveness.

First, stay calm, attentive, and professional. Thank the reviewer for his or her feedback. Then, ask:

“What specific behavior should I adjust?” This helps separate useful guidance from vague criticism and helps you focus only on what you can actually change.

“How did this affect the team, deadlines, or clients?” Understanding impact empowers you to improve quickly.

“Is there a gap between what I’m doing and what people see or understand?” This awareness helps you adjust communication, visibility, or collaboration.

“What does success look like to you going forward?” This invites suggestions for improvement that might be helpful to your success, including tools, training, or clarity of expectations—and turns feedback into a roadmap.

“Can we schedule a follow-up in 90 days so I can demonstrate improvements?” This exhibits a genuine interest to improve and exceed expectations.

This shows maturity, resilience, and leadership potential and will be remembered.

5. The performance review is a conversation - not a verdict.

Ask questions.
Engage.
Clarify expectations.
Explore growth paths.

➡️ Treat the review as a strategy session about your future, not a test of your past. Here are some other excellent questions to include:

“What would demonstrating readiness for the next level look like?”

“Which projects would help me grow fastest?”

“How can I have more impact on the team?”

“What would success in the next six months look like to you?”

Leaders notice employees who take ownership of their development.

➡️ Bottom Line: Your Performance Review Is Your Career Checkpoint.

Conclusion: Take your performance review seriously and be prepared because it shapes the opportunities you receive. Practice with a trusted friend or your favorite mirror. This annual conversation can shape your next 12 months and your long-term trajectory.

��Treat it like the strategic opportunity it is. If you’re ready to stand out, showcase your value, and navigate your review with confidence, this is where it starts.

If you found this helpful…

I wrote Play Smart: Playground Strategies for Success in a Male-Dominated Workplace to help women do exactly this, advocate for themselves, negotiate strategically, and thrive in workplaces not designed for them.

Play Nice Receives 5 Star Review from Reader Views

Sun, 23 Mar 2025 21:28:33 GMT

Play Nice Receives 5 Stars from Reader Views

Play Nice - Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace

Brigitte Gawenda Kimichik, JD & JR Tomlinson
Brown Books Publishing Group (2019)
ISBN: 978-1612542904
Reviewed by Paige Lovitt for Reader Views (2/2025)

Brigitte Gawenda Kimichik, JD and JR Tomlinson’s “Play Nice: Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace,” is an essential guide for navigating through the complex and often disturbing landscape of sexual harassment in professional environments. It is the first book in The Sandbox Series and tackles an issue that affects an alarming number of individuals. Statistics show that one in three women has experienced sexual harassment at work. Due to the fear of retaliation by reporting, this number could be significantly higher.

The authors provide a comprehensive overview of sexual harassment. This includes a discussion about what it encompasses, including unwelcome advances, verbal and physical harassment, and coercive requests for sexual favors. They highlight how detrimental this is to the workplace. This isn’t just about how the victims are affected, but also the organizational integrity. Through real-life examples, Kimichik and Tomlinson illustrate how often perpetrators receive better treatment for their actions than the victims. The victims are often disregarded and dismissed. Cases from well-known companies are discussed.

“ Play Nice ” is written in a way that makes it easy for the layperson to understand the legal jargon involved with this issue. Employers and employees will benefit from the information presented here. The authors also present action steps that can be taken to help foster a respectful work environment. They urge readers to implement “playground rules” which are principles learned in childhood that promote fairness and respect. These can be incorporated into adult interactions to ensure that healthy communication and boundaries are present in the workplace.

The “playground” represents the working environment of the company. The metaphor of the “sandbox” is poignant because it illustrates the close quarters in which colleagues must interact, and the need for mutual respect. This is also where men tend to outnumber women. The book advocates for a proactive approach which encourages men and women to engage in conversations about harassment and to challenge inappropriate behaviors as they arise. It empowers readers to stand up against harassment and seek the support they deserve, before the problem gets too far out of hand.

“ Play Nice ” inspires hope for a future where workplaces are safer and more inclusive. It is an important resource for anyone navigating workplace dynamics and it is especially important for the younger generation, who are entering the workforce. They can be educated and empowered to act before problems get out of hand. I wish I had access to this excellent resource when I entered the workforce as a shy teenager. I would have been more empowered to handle inappropriate behavior in the workplace. “ Play Nice ” will help create and maintain a respectful and equitable work environment. In a world where change is desperately needed, this book will be a guide to help that happen.

Play Smart Receives 5 Star Rating from Reader Views

Sun, 23 Mar 2025 21:05:00 GMT

Play Smart Receives 5 Stars from Reader Views

Play Smart

Brigitte Gawenda Kimichik, JD
The Sandbox Series LLC, (2024)
ISBN: 979-8990912618
Reviewed by Elizabeth Javor for Reader Views (01/2025)

In “Play Smart: Playground Strategies for Succeeding in a Male-Dominated Workplace,” Brigitte Gawenda Kimichik, JD delivers a comprehensive guide for women. Kimichik’s writing is empowering and practical, making this a guide that will benefit working women in any field. With over 30 years of professional experience, Kimichik provides valuable insights and strategies for women looking to advance their careers while overcoming the unique challenges of working in a male-dominated company.

“ Play Smart ,” the second book in The Sandbox Series, is a clever guide based on the common saying, “Play nice in the sandbox.” This book feels like the type of must-read you gift young women upon college graduation. The advice that Kimichik offers is practical and insightful. The author writes as someone who has ‘been there’ and understands how challenging it can be to face systemic gender biases, unequal pay, and cultural barriers.

This book is unique because it also offers essential lessons for men, providing them with ways to be allies and contribute to a more inclusive workplace. Kimichik’s balanced approach offers something for everyone, from professionals just entering the workforce to experienced leaders looking to advance their careers.

One of the strongest points of “ Play Smart ” is its focus on practical, real-world strategies. Kimichik covers topics crucial to success in male-dominated workplaces, including building a professional network, seeking mentorship, advocating for yourself, and negotiating salaries or raises. There’s also solid advice on balancing career aspirations with family responsibilities, a common challenge for many women.

Kimichik brings her extensive and impressive professional experience into every chapter, backing up her advice with examples from her career and anecdotes: "First impressions count. Decide what you want your reputation to be and work to achieve it."

This helps readers find the author relatable and trustworthy. Her candid approach shows that success at work can be challenging but entirely possible with the right strategies and mindset.

Overall, “Play Smart” is an essential read for any woman looking to build a positive reputation and rise in a competitive workplace. Kimichik’s advice empowers women to thrive at work while providing a roadmap for doing so.

I recommend this book to professional women and women who are looking to rise in their careers. Whether you’re just starting or are already an established professional, “ Play Smart ” by Brigitte Gawenda Kimichik, JD provides excellent strategies for success.

Award-Winning Guide to Combatting Workplace Sexual Harassment

Sun, 23 Mar 2025 20:08:08 GMT

Empowering Transformation in the Workplace: An Award-Winning Approach

A Beacon of Recognition and Hope

The remarkable achievements of " Play Nice: Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace " haven't gone unnoticed. Honored with a 5-star rating and capturing gold in the CLASSICS BUSINESS category at the 2024 Reader Views Literary Awards , this book is not just a publication—it's a movement toward a harmonious future. At the heart of " Play Nice " is a celebration of its ability to shine a light on dark corners, advocating for a workplace environment where respect is the foundation.

Dismantling the Complexities of Harassment

The problem of sexual harassment in the workplace is multifaceted, touching lives more often than we'd like to admit. " Play Nice " presents an incisive examination, breaking down legal complexities into understandable insights. It’s about transforming arcane legal language into actionable wisdom—the kind that not only educates but empowers.

Actionable Strategies for Change

At the core of " Play Nice " is a set of actionable strategies aimed at cultivating a respectful work environment. It’s about adopting "playground rules," borrowing the simplicity of childhood fairness and kindness principles and integrating them into our adult professional lives. This approach is not just about preventing harassment—it’s about promoting positive interactions that celebrate respect and dignity.

The Power of the Sandbox Metaphor

The brilliance of the "sandbox" metaphor cannot be overstressed. It represents the workplace—a space where close interactions can either foster growth or sow discord. "Play Nice" advocates for the former, urging a proactive dialogue and challenging inappropriate behaviors with courage and respect. It's about acknowledging the shared space we occupy and ensuring it's one of mutual respect and understanding.

A Vision for the Future

" Play Nice " does more than just spotlight issues; it offers a roadmap to a future where workplaces are not just safe, but thriving spaces of mutual respect and empowerment. It speaks to the new generation stepping into their careers, armed not just with ambition, but with the tools to foster an egalitarian work environment. This guide is a mentor, a beacon, and a companion for anyone wishing to make their workplace a better place.

This content not only shines a spotlight on the vital insights and contributions " Play Nice " brings to workplace dynamics but also serves as a call to action for readers to engage with the material and take steps towards fostering a respectful and empowering environment in their own professional lives.

Celebrating Literary Excellence: Play Nice Receives Reader Views Literary Award

Sun, 23 Mar 2025 19:58:11 GMT

A New Chapter in Independent Literature: Authors' Journey to Literary Recognition

The literary world is a vibrant fabric woven with the threads of countless authors' voices, each bringing their unique perspective and narratives to the fore. Amidst this rich tapestry, some voices resonate with the cadence of success and inspiration—a beacon for the power of the written word. We are humbled to be considered one such voice, having been recently celebrated as a winner in the esteemed 2024 Reader Views Literary Awards for our first book in The Sandbox Series - Play Nice - Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace .

The Literature Landscape: A Change Championed by Independent Voices

Independent authors like myself are reshaping the literary scene, often bypassing traditional gatekeepers to connect directly with our audience. The Reader Views Literary Awards, dedicated to celebrating such talent, offers a platform for our work to shine, validating our contributions to literature and honoring our authorial prowess.

A Closer Look at the 2024 Reader Views Literary Awards

These awards, symbolic of literary merit and reader appreciation, unveiled a list of winners destined to be remembered. This prestigious acknowledgment is not only an honor for the writers but also a nudge to readers, urging them to explore the horizons of independent publishing. See the full list of 2024 Reader Views Literary Award Winners here.

The Ripple Effect of Literary Recognition

Winning this award extends beyond the mere accolade. It sends a powerful message to our peers and aspiring writers that excellence in writing is recognized and celebrated, fostering a culture of inclusivity and respect for independent publishing. It is a source of encouragement for countless other authors who tread the path of independent publishing. It underlines the importance of perseverance and the impact a single voice can have within the literary community.

My story is far from its final chapter. With this award under our belt, the future holds infinite possibilities. For our peers, supporters, and readers, the journey is just as exhilarating. Our success is a testament to the vitality of independent publishing and a reminder of the transformative power of literature.

As always, we appreciate your support.

NEGOTIATING YOUR SALARY

Wed, 13 Nov 2024 21:22:16 GMT

Negotiating a Salary

Negotiating Your Salary

(Excerpts from Play Smart )

The Statistics

Does it surprise you that men discuss their salaries with managers four times more often than women and that 57% of women claim never to have negotiated their salary?

Even more astounding, when applying to the same job, women ask for a lower salary than men 65% of the time and often accept the first offer they receive (as opposed to men who continue to negotiate upward). Additionally, six times out of ten, women are paid less than men for the exact same job at the same company. On average, this salary difference is 3% less.

According to reports, women typically earn less than men, currently 84 cents on the dollar, and would need to work 42 days longer every year to earn the same amount of money. The New Yorker put it this way: “Today, for every dollar American men earn, American women earn eighty cents. This means that American women effectively work from January 1 until March 15 without getting paid.” Over a 40-year career, women stand to lose $400,000 because of that wage gap. This wage gap looks even greater when you break it down by race and ethnicity. “While women of Asian descent earn eighty-seven cents on the white-male dollar, black women are typically paid sixty-three cents and Latina women fifty-four cents.”

Latina, Black, and Native American women will average making $1 million less than white men over their careers, despite doing similar work. At current rates, America will not close the wage gap until at least 2059. This translates to smaller social security checks and much less retirement savings for these minority women.

To combat this unfair discrepancy, help your company or target employer bridge the wage gap and prepare yourself before you negotiate your salary.

Do Your Research

First, do your research and determine the pay range in your area for similar jobs. Check online resources such as Glassdoor, LinkedIn, PayScale, and BLS (Bureau of Labor Statistics). Many companies burden you with setting salary expectations without offering any transparency on their salary ranges for your job position. This unfair practice may cause you to accept a salary only to realize later that you are underpaid in comparison to your peers. Unfortunately, it could take years for you to catch up financially, depending on the company’s annual percentage raise practices. Luckily, there is a growing trend to combat pay discrimination in the workplace by implementing pay transparency laws designed to remove the historical secrecy around pay information. These new laws require employers to disclose, either in job postings or upon request, salary ranges, health care benefits, other insurance options, retirement benefits, leave policies, as well as bonuses, commissions, stock options, and profit-sharing. However, only a few states have enacted such laws to date, including California, Colorado, Connecticut, Maryland, Nevada, New York, Rhode Island, and Washington. Pay transparency laws are forcing companies to study national databases to determine actual industry standards prior to posting new job salaries. While transparency may lead to potential poaching by other companies and salary renegotiations by current employees, it can ultimately result in equal pay and competitiveness in the job market. Greater transparency can also improve communication with management and reduce employees’ concerns about being underpaid, leading to a focus on job performance and opportunities for career advancement. This benefits everyone involved. By contrast, a lack of pay transparency risks losing talented employees. For more on the topic of transparency, check our new book Play Smart .

If your state’s practices fall behind in terms of other state’s legal transparency requirements, arm yourself with data on salary and resource info that explains why you deserve your requested salary.

Avoid Stating Your Current Salary

If asked, avoid stating your current salary. If pressed, note that your current salary needs to be updated to meet current market expectations. In California, Delaware, Massachusetts, and the cities of New York and Philadelphia, it is now illegal to ask a job candidate about his or her salary history—a practice considered discriminatory to women.

Fairygodboss expertly described in a recent article: “As a candidate, it’s better to be asked about your salary preferences than cornered into revealing your current salary. But it’s ... tricky...it’s easy to lowball yourself and regret your answer. The last thing you want is to walk away from a negotiation feeling like there was money left on the table. You shoot yourself in the foot by answering a number that was way below your employer’s initial range.” Being prepared and arming yourself with market information for similar job positions in your area is critical in ensuring you gain a desirable salary.

Create a Satisfactory Range

For example, when negotiating your salary for a new job, create a range that starts with the minimum amount you require (higher than your current salary) and justify your range by factors such as education, experience, unique qualities, skills, and the value you bring to the company compared to other candidates. To support your request, find comparable data in the market, equipping yourself for further negotiation after an initial offer is made. Remember, you have nothing to lose by negotiating. Moreover, your preparedness and efforts increase your potential to earn more in the long run. If you can justify your request with true and competitive data, your potential employer should be fine with your negotiation efforts for a pay raise. One study found that 85% of Americans who countered an offered salary were more successful in achieving close to their salary goal. Don’t give up and take the first offer, especially if you qualify for a higher wage.

Set Expectations Early

It’s important to set your salary expectations early in the negotiation process to avoid any future frustration. This helps establish a benchmark for how you wish others to perceive you and your contributions. Your superiors need help to read your mind and innately understand what salary you deserve. So, it would be best if you made your desires clear—upfront.

Allowing your employer to guess what you may be seeking will not likely satisfy your expectations for a raise, leading to continued frustration. By establishing your expectations early and backing them up with facts, you put yourself in a strong position to negotiate and improve your chances of achieving your deserved salary.

Don’t Settle for Low

As you negotiate, don’t settle for a lower salary just because you believe you lack the criteria for the job position. Instead, educate your potential employer on your job experience especially that which extends beyond the position’s parameters, to emphasize why you add value to the job position. Sell your skills, experience, unique work style, and attitude!

If instead of a higher salary at the number you desire, your employer offers you stock or equity in the company and/or other financial benefits, including quarterly or year-end bonuses, determine if the combined offer with these benefits bridges the gap in pay. Stock or equity in your company could be a valuable benefit in the long term.

Finally, put your pitch in writing and practice with a friend or family member who could provide valuable input on how to negotiate best.

For more on this topic and other helpful guidance, please check out our new book Play Smart . Good luck!

#womenwhowork #womenhelpingwomen #networkingfemales #womeninbusiness #negotiatingsalary #womenatwork

NEGOTIATING FOR A RAISE OR PROMOTION

Tue, 12 Nov 2024 22:32:34 GMT

Negotiating for a Raise or Promotion in Your Existing Job

(With excerpts from Play Smart )

The Statistics

A 2018 PayScale study noted that almost two-thirds of employees have never asked for a raise. According to another study, when women find out that men are paid more for the same job, only 26% complain to their manager and 6% to HR. Rather than asking for a commensurate raise, 36% leave their employment for a new job or stay silent (28%). Further, the study also found that where salary discussions are initiated, 57% of men are more likely to get the pay increase versus 50% women. Instead, women are more likely to receive improved job titles, benefits, bonuses, and/or stock options (7% men vs. 10% women).

Share Your Successes

We understand negotiating a higher salary is stressful—some say it may be more stressful than getting a root canal; however, don’t be afraid. Even if the answer is “no,” don’t give up.

Ask for what you want in a percentage increase, and as you would for a new salary at a new job, support your request with your educational background, experience, unique qualities, skills, accomplishments, and comparable data for similar jobs in the market. When noting accomplishments, make sure to include any marketing successes you contributed to for new business for the company, any courses or seminars you joined to improve your expertise, and work successes, and any work opportunities you engaged in outside of your department with the intent to get to know other colleagues. All of this demonstrates your willingness to go above and beyond your expected work commitments.

Explain how your unique talents and efforts add value to the company financially, including how you resourced new customers (and, in turn, new business), shared your work with other colleagues within and outside of your department, and grew your practice or team.

These efforts show how you add value through your determination and motivation to succeed.

Speak positively about your role within the company. Give examples that describe your effective work contributions, your role in expanding the business, and your overall loyalty and dedication to the company’s success. If you have been taking on new responsibilities with established successes, edit your job description accordingly to make a more persuasive case for a raise and promotion. Seek support from superior colleagues to corroborate your efforts. This effort will help you make an endorsed case for why you deserve a raise or promotion.

How to Ask for a Raise or Promotion

Time your promotional request carefully, ideally after completing a significant project, achieving a major goal, or receiving positive feedback. Additionally, consider the appropriate person for the request. Is it your direct supervisor or the department manager? Will it be more effective for the supervisor to request on your behalf? Finally, do not request if your target person is under pressure at work or not in a positive frame of mind.

Consider alerting your superior that you would like to schedule a time to discuss your market research in relation to the possibility of a raise. Giving your superior the “heads up” allows him or her to prepare for the discussion as well. This upfront, respectful communication lends credibility to your request. Approach the conversation with confidence, but remain professional in your tone. As previously highlighted, prepare for any objections or questions that may arise. Speak firmly but respectfully when communicating your expectations regarding raises and bonuses. For example, “I would like a raise of __%. I have been at this company for two years, have exceeded expectations pursuant to performance reviews, and deserve this raise. What I am asking for appears in line with my research for similar jobs in our market area.”

Be prepared to review your expanded responsibilities and established work successes for a more persuasive case to make for a raise and promotion. Don’t be afraid to speak up for yourself. You have nothing to lose.

Additionally, when you ask for the raise, if applicable, be prepared to discuss your contributions to the company in terms of numbers. For example, to what extent did your successful work contributions impact the financial bottom line of the company? Give your superior specific numbers. Also, prove to your superior that you have done your market research by sharing factual information supporting your raise in compensation.

For any job, regardless of whether or not it is your first, you must be proactive when negotiating your salary. Only you can defend and promote yourself for the salary you seek. For example, in my jobs at law firms, every attorney annually submitted a memo on our successes to the compensation committee. In many cases, after this required submission, follow-up interviews took place, during which employees had the opportunity to highlight their contributions to committee members and address compensation concerns. I still remember one particular interview where a new managing partner fell under the false impression that a client I resourced for the firm was actually originated by another colleague while I was only “doing some of the work.” This false assumption was made when the colleague mentioned a connection he held to my client, which resulted in the colleague receiving all the credit for the client (and commensurate added compensation). After all, how could a woman generate such a client? I picked up on my managing partner’s false belief immediately. I explained how I resourced the client and grew the client’s business to other practice areas of the firm, further corroborating my claim.

In a law firm setting, originating new clients (and business) for the firm is highly competitive and typically triggers an increase in compensation. Don’t let a colleague take credit for your originations. Stand up for yourself and set the record straight. Later when I became a member of the firm’s compensation committee as a partner, I learned how important it was to have allies on the committee who were educated on the contributions of their fellow partners and associate attorneys seeking raises.

Sharing Credit; Honoring Contributions

When you receive a referral for business from another colleague at your company, ask to share the credit. Your referring colleague should receive “origination credit” for the business; however, if you grow the relationship, manage a team to complete the work, and generate additional business with that client or customer on other matters, your contributions should be appropriately rewarded. Your ability to increase the profitability of the company by sharing the work, building the practice, and marketing your company’s expertise are important traits for a successful career.

Foster courteous and respectful relationships with your colleagues through open and honest communication. You may need their help to complete work and foster continued business from a client or customer, especially if the work falls outside of your area of expertise. However, don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself and your contributions—even if someone else succeeds in taking the credit. Complete your work respectfully and with maturity to underscore your value, competence, and loyalty to your team and company. Your efforts will be noticed. Remember, you may work for someone who will eventually hand the reins of their business over to you.

If Your Request is Deferred

If your request for a promotion is deferred for consideration to a later date, present a follow-up plan to keep the request on your superior’s radar and keep good notes of your conversations. These can serve as future evidence for any promises made or possible discrimination.

For more on this topic and other helpful guidance, please check out our new book Play Smart . Good luck!

#womenwhowork #womenhelpingwomen #networkingfemales #womeninbusiness #negotiatingraise #negotiatingpromotion #womenatwork

🚨THE RED ZONE - COLLEGE STUDENTS BE AWARE‼️

Tue, 12 Nov 2024 19:03:14 GMT

‼️ BACK TO COLLEGE? STUDENTS - BEWARE. YOU ARE IN THE RED ZONE ‼️

�� Sexual Assaults - According to statistics, more than 50% of college sexual assaults occur August through November. This time has become known as “The Red Zone”, the time period at the beginning of the school year when women (and men) are at the highest risk of being sexually assaulted. https://rainn.org/statistics/campus-sexual-violence

This is especially true for freshman who are making new friends and having fun - particularly at events and bars where alcohol is being served. According to statistics, this is the time when students are most vulnerable. Remember that “No” means “No” and if you or your partner is under the influence of drugs or alcohol, you may not have consent for sex. Take safety measures! Go out and stay with a trusted group of friends.

�� Spiking of Drinks - Watch for spiking of drinks in bars and at parties. Although the motive may be to make you relax, pull a prank, or see you drunk, don't risk it. The goal may be to sexually assault you. Order your own and don't leave them unattended. To protect yourself, use a cup cover for extra security! If you happen to leave your drink unattended or a stranger brings you a drink and you are worried your drink may have been spiked you can also use CYD Spiked Drink Testing Strips or drug detection cards . There are plenty of options on Amazon. Whatever you do, go out and stay with your group of trusted friends and be suspicious of strangers. For more on spiking, check out this article .

�� Take Advantage of Campus Education and Self-Defense Training - most campuses require students to participate in sexual assault and hazing awareness courses at the beginning of the school year with refreshers at later dates throughout the school year. Don’t miss these opportunities to educate yourself and gain access to tools you may need to protect yourself. If your campus provides self-defense classes, sign up. You never know if you have to defend yourself against a predator. Remember that violators are not always other students.

�� Victim Assistance - If you are harmed or you do find yourself in trouble, most campuses have blue light poles where you can seek immediate help from campus or local police. You can also call your Campus Sexual Assault Support Hotline where support is standing by to help you at any hour, day or night.

�� Don’t be a Bystander - Most importantly, if you see someone in trouble, don't be a bystander. Speak up and be protective, especially if you see someone who is no longer capable of making decisions due to drug or excess alcohol consumption! If you seek immediate help, you are less likely to get in trouble for witnessing a potential tragedy and doing nothing.

For more, visit me at thesandboxseries.com and check out our book Play Nice and my upcoming book Play Smart ! #thecampusredzone #sexualassaultoncampus #illegalhazing #don'tbeabystander #beallies

UPSTANDER TIPS FOR COLLEGE STUDENTS!

Tue, 12 Nov 2024 15:43:27 GMT

UPSTANDER TIPS FOR COLLEGE STUDENTS

How many times have you been a witness, bystander or enabler to bad behavior? Maybe the behavior made you uncomfortable and you did not want to get involved for fear of ridicule or retaliation from your friends or classmates? Maybe you were worried you would get into trouble with the school or with the local authorities? You thought, surely someone else will say something or report the behavior.

It takes a village to change the culture and prevalence of bad behavior in the sandbox of your social group or school. This village includes you, whether you are a leader, friend or stranger. If you sense an uncomfortable reaction from a person who is being targeted or you witness offensive behavior, don’t be a bystander. Call out the behavior. Do something. You may be saving someone from potential physical harm, rape or even death. Examples include watching an over-served female being led away by a group of guys at a bar or party or attending a hazing event where a fraternity pledge is no longer coherent.

Intervening in a safe and gentle manner can be a powerful show of support for the recipient of objectionable behavior. A simple act of support might have impact, such as: “Hey, not cool! She is no longer capable of consent! Be respectful" or "Stop! You are making her (or him) feel uncomfortable!" or "Stop! You are crossing a line. He is no longer coherent and may be getting sick! Let's not harm the pledge!"

Speaking up and taking a stand might underscore your leadership qualities. Staying silent might make you complicit.This is especially important if you are a man. Men will listen to men!

Here are some Upstander tips if you witness bad behavior, whether bullying in person or online, racism, discrimination, sexual harassment, or hazing :

If classmates or friends engage in harmful behavior, pull them aside and let them know their actions are offensive. Alert them to the potential consequences of the behavior.
If you are worried about addressing the behavior directly, ask a person with influence you trust for help.
If you encounter a group of frequent violators, make the time to educate them on the existence of applicable school policies and potential consequences for violations. If you are leading the group, this is your obligation.
If you sense a target of the bad behavior is uncomfortable, sick, or incoherent, find a reason to extract that person from the situation ("I need to borrow (x person) for a few minutes." "Someone is here to talk to you." "Let me see if he or she is ok before you continue.").
If you discover that a classmate, friend or stranger becomes visibly uncomfortable in the presence of a violator, find a time to talk to her or him. He or she may be suffering from bullying, racism, discrimination, or sexual harassment from that person and may need help. Use supportive language such as "Hey, are you ok? I heard what that person said to you and that is not cool." Don't use phrases that might make them feel worse, such as "You must be so embarrassed." or "I would want to die if I were you."
If you have been a witness to objectionable behavior, offer your assistance to help the victim. You may be able to talk to the violator or a friend with influence over the violator . Maybe they’re unaware of how they’re making the other person feel. Or maybe they know it’s mean, and hearing that it’s not cool will help them change their behavior. If those are not options, accompany the victim to seek help. The school will have resources.
If you determine that your witness account might be helpful to the victim, document the incident in detail and offer to be a witness if the victim elects to report.
If you are a leader in your group, class, on a project, or at your fraternity or sorority, set the example of being an upstander and emphasize the importance and urgency of doing the same.
If you are a leader in your group, class, on a project, or at your fraternity or sorority , encourage reporting to your school if necessary, especially if the behavior is offensive, persistent, repetitive, or harmful.

Taking immediate action is likely to engender a more healthy environment of dignity and respect and will help avert potential harmful and dangerous situations for the target of the bad behavior and the community of your school.

For more info on this topic and other related issues, check out “Play Nice” and join us at www.thesandboxseries.com . W e wrote Play Nice to educate both women AND men—on the importance of drawing a firm line of respect, and speaking up and taking action as a bystander.

#upstander #bystander #bystandertips #speakup #respectatschool

The Year End Performance Review - Are You Prepared?

Wed, 06 Nov 2024 00:24:02 GMT

The Dreaded Year End Performance Review - Are You Prepared?

(An excerpt from Play Smart)

The Importance of A Performance Review

Hopefully, you are invested in the company where you work—meaning you worked very hard to get your job and care about the company and your career. If these statements are true, your performance review is an important opportunity for you to understand your current status and future development within the company. Ask yourself: Are you on track for promotion? Are there any improvements you should be considering as you mature through the ranks? Should you be taking advantage of any educational tools to sharpen your skills? Your superiors use the performance review to evaluate your progress, share any reservations regarding your activity, and suggest changes you need to make to stay on track for promotion.

Take Advantage and Speak Up

Use your performance review to speak up for yourself and ask questions. Be proactive and take control! This is your career and your future. Candid communications with superiors regarding successes, goals, and expectations promote a healthy growth environment and a successful career at your company. If needed, advise how your role has changed and your responsibilities have expanded, which now require a commensurate salary adjustment and potential promotion.

Preparing for Your Performance Review

How should you prepare? First, take the evaluation process seriously. Understand your job requirements and conduct a self-evaluation to determine if you are satisfying expectations. Identify any knowledge or resource gaps that require training or management assistance to return to your promotional track and advance your career. Keep a record of any contributions to transactions and matters you worked on over the past year (including any speeches, seminars, and other programs you may have given or helped organize). Use this record during your performance review to promote your contributions and accomplishments in an organized, professional manner. In your record, include any marketing efforts, courses, or seminars you took to strengthen your knowledge, any work opportunities you took outside of your area of expertise to help on assignments, and any additional endeavors you participated in to get to know other colleagues. These efforts will demonstrate how you have gone above and beyond your expected work requirements. Propose your plan of action for self-improvement during your review. If you have been performing above your level and taking on new responsibilities with established successes, edit your job description accordingly and communicate how your job responsibilities have expanded. If your job has drastically changed, you have a persuasive case for a raise and promotion. These efforts show how you add value to the company and that you are determined to succeed.

Communicating Successes

If you received written or verbal accolades from customers, colleagues, or superiors, ensure you mention them during your performance review. If available, provide a copy of these accolades to underscore your credibility. If you contributed significantly to larger transactions, ask your superior from those matters to provide his or her compliments in writing for you to share with management. Pick superiors who know you well and care about your progression in the company to conduct these evaluations. Endeavor to include any superiors outside of your work area who you assisted in project emergencies and who applaud your efforts. Keep management updated regularly on your accomplishments, positive reviews from superiors, and any new skills training you receive through-out the year. Be bold about your efforts and successes by tooting your horn. You know your male colleagues will not hesitate to do the same. Don’t resist opportunities to champion your efforts by being modest.

Addressing Negative Feedback

Stay calm and attentive if you receive negative feedback during your performance review. Ensure you understand what changes you must make and commit to adjusting accordingly. Ask for clarification if needed. Additionally, provide defensive reasoning for your work if you believe the reviewing supervisor neglected important facts governing your work contributions.

Persevere if your project fails or you receive a bad performance review on a project. Acknowledge what went wrong and look for ways you can make necessary changes to improve your performance. One of my favorite sayings about making mistakes is, “You can pick up a mistake and carry it as a burden, or you can set it down and use it as a steppingstone to great- ness.” [Author Unknown]

Perform to The Best of Your Ability

As you progress, remember that you should complete every project you undertake to the best of your ability. It only takes one superior with a negative impression to impact your reviews and future at the company, potentially causing devastating consequences. If a superior expresses dissatisfaction with your work product, try to understand their project requirements and meet with that person. Gently demand the feedback you need to understand expectations and commit to making the suggested improvements. Most importantly, be kind, respectful, and courteous in your communications.

Reject Quid Pro Quo

Finally, “quid pro quo” is never acceptable! If your superior asks for sexual favors in exchange for a positive review, promotion, or raise, he has violated the law.

For more information, visit us at www.thesandboxseries.com and read Play Smart .

We wish you the best for your review!

#respectwomenatwork #humanresources #performancereview #PlaySmart #yearendreview #workadvice #adviceforsuccess

RECENT LIVE STREAM - THE JEFF CRILLEY SHOW - Talking about Sexual Harassment in the Workplace

bkimichik@gmail.com (Brigitte Kimichik) — Thu, 21 Jul 2022 16:18:33 GMT

Watch Our Recent Live Stream Appearance on The Jeff Crilley Show Below ⤵

We recently joined Jeff Crilley on his show, The Jeff Crilley Show , to discuss sexual harassment in the workplace, and why it's so important to play nice.

Co-Authors of Play Nice: Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace. Brigitte Gawenda Kimichik and J.R. JoRayne Tomlinson, were able to join. Watch now!

Did we cover everything you wanted to know? Leave any questions below for us to answer in future posts.

SEXUAL HARASSMENT CLAIMS PLAGUE THE GOLF WORLD

Wed, 01 Dec 2021 01:17:40 GMT

⛳️ Sexual Harassment Claims Plague the Golf World‼️

When former anchor and reporter @LisaMCornwelll filed her complaint in 2020 with the EEOC against the @golfchannel for fostering a ‘boy’s club’ culture, claiming she was discriminated against and suffered retaliation for speaking up before she left the network, dozens more women claiming similar treatment, including sexism, misogyny and harassment came to her defense. A few have spoken publicly. Many others wish to remain anonymous—too afraid to risk their jobs for breaking nondisclosure agreements, severance pay after leaving their jobs for breach of confidentiality agreements, or reputation and future job prospects.

The Golf Channel vehemently denies all allegations and has offered to release former employees who wish to speak publicly from their confidentiality agreements. As you might guess, the concerns for potential negative consequences are deterring requests for releases. According to reports , at least six lawsuits claiming sexual harassment, pay discrimination or unpaid wages were filed against The Golf Channel between 1996 and 2009, all of which were settled. Recent claims include sexually explicit emails, an incident of masterbation in front of female colleagues, public placement of inappropriate sexual images, and unequal treatment with respect to growth opportunities.

The Golf Channel is waiting for a ruling on Lisa Cornwell’s EEOC complaint.

As Lawrence Hirsh and @golfprop1 noted in his piece on his perception of how certain “golf traditions” negatively impact women, golf courses should take a time out and revisit certain “traditions” that are not appropriate in light of #MeToo. In one case, three teenage girls working as bussers and hostesses at a yacht and golf club restaurant in Northern California complained to their managers about inappropriate behavior, including sexual jokes and inappropriate touching. When the managers were not able to make the behavior stop, the girls filed a claim with the EEOC.

Complaints are likely being made by female hostesses, bartenders and cart girls. How are their complaints being handled? What if the violators are paying members?

What if the violators are prominent professional players? Five time winner on the European Tour and member of the 2018 European Ryder Cup, Thorbjorn Olesen, 31, was arrested July 29, 2019 for allegedly molesting a woman who was asleep on a flight from Memphis to London following the 2019 WGC-FedEx St. Jude Invitational, and is facing charges for sexual assault, being drunk on an aircraft, and assault by beating. Originally suspended for the incident by the European Tour, he was reinstated in 2020, after his trial was pushed to Dec. 6, 2021 (pending the outcome of the legal process). Olesen has played without consequence more than a dozen times since his reinstatement. The European Tour has committed to revisit a suspension once Olesen’s legal matter is concluded.

Quoting Hirsch: “The old concept that GOLF stands for “Gentlemen Only Ladies Forbidden” needs to be put to rest forever in favor of “Game of Lots (of) Fun”.

In our book 'Play Nice - Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace, ' we address this topic in great detail to help the human resources department address and process complaints with diligence, better communication, and transparency. Our book also provides real-world examples and essential communication tools—to help women combat this type of behavior as a victim and to help men and women when they are bystanders. If we can resolve bad behavior in the moment, whether as a victim or a bystander, with good communication and creating a fruitful learning experience for the violator, we might avoid filing complaints and a toxic work environment.

We should reward #beupstanding and encourage companies to support #metoo and to handle sexual harassment violations with transparency, respect, responsibility and accountability. Only then will we move the needle and #changetheculture to a more healthy and prosperous environment, free from #abuse and #workplacesexualharassment. What will you do to effect meaningful change? #TimesUp. Let’s #playnice. For more on this and other topics, please visit us at www.thesandboxseries.com .

TRAVELING WITH WORK COLLEAGUES IN LIGHT OF #METOO

Sat, 13 Nov 2021 22:16:31 GMT

TRAVELING WITH WORK COLLEAGUES IN LIGHT OF #METOO

True Story: Imagine starting your career in a male-dominated environment. Your male superior advises that because you are "too pretty" and "the wife might get jealous," you cannot go on work trips unles s the project and related budget allow others to join. Protective work policy or blatant insulting gender discrimination?

After the explosion of #MeToo, we heard new workplace rules could ban handshakes or touching of any kind, one-on-one meetings with women behind closed doors, lunches, or mentoring, and traveling with a female colleague.

Your initial reaction might be to say, "That makes sense to protect the female colleague." One person advised, "Women can't have it both ways, and they should not be able to complain about sexual harassment and then object if the company enacts work rules to protect them." But—who are these rules designed to protect, and are they legal?

We have also heard that some men have decided to limit their interactions with women or avoid them altogether. Rep. Robert Foster and former Supreme Court Chief Justice Bill Waller, Jr have stated that they would not be alone with a woman, not their wives, even if in a professional context, citing "common sense" and the Billy Graham Rule. The late evangelist allegedly stated, "that a man cannot be alone with a woman to whom he is not married, including in a professional context." This issue caused a social media frenzy for VP Mike Pence after a statement he made in 2002 surfaced that he does not eat alone with a woman or attend an event that serves alcohol unless his wife is present.

We believe these supposed "protective" positions or rules are counter-productive and harmful to women's social and professional growth working in male-dominated environments and are highly prejudicial. In the workplace, they are illegal. Title VII, which governs workplace discrimination, does not allow employers to treat employees differently based on specific protected characteristics, including the sex of a person.

More importantly, these measures and statements only underscore the lack of understanding of sexual harassment and what is needed to eliminate bad behavior. This failure expands to the younger generations. Would it surprise you to know that in our true story above, the superior is in his early thirties? Some men may fear the temptation to overstep a marital boundary or engage in unwelcome harassment or fear the appearance of a sexual or romantic liaison for spending time with a female colleague. However, there are ways to alleviate these fears without eliminating potentially productive business interactions. And, as you might guess, women in the work environment have protected civil rights that far outweigh any spouse jealousies or concerns.

Men, how about committing to educate yourself on what constitutes sexual harassment and how to behave and respect your female colleagues? You alone control your actions. As a company, how about implementing zero-tolerance policies against sexual harassment and educating your employees from the top down on the consequences if violated? What about teaching employees to no longer tolerate such behavior as bystanders and how to intervene or report if necessary?

In our true story, the male superior's statements constitute gender discrimination and are highly insulting. First, we are confident that the company does not have a policy prohibiting one-on-one travel with "a pretty woman to prevent a spouse from getting jealous." Quoting from a recent Vox article , "Employers are not permitted to base employment decisions on gender-based stereotypes—including the stereotype that women are temptresses, or incapable of having purely professional relationships with male bosses or co-workers."

Second, how arrogant is it for the superior to think the female colleague might find him attractive.

After #MeToo, new company policies may discourage one-on-one travel to minimize the possibility of impropriety or sexual harassment. Still, again, we believe such policies are not helpful for the progression of women in the workforce and are potentially illegal as a violation of Title VII.

How might our young female have responded to her superior? "With all due respect, I am not interested in a personal relationship with anyone at work. I am here to learn and progress in my career. Since this company hired me, I assume confidence in my abilities and support without prejudice or discrimination. I hope to add value and prove my competence."

To all men - we need your help and commitment to change human behavior and the culture of sexual harassment. We need your help to hold men to a higher standard. To the companies we work for - we need transparency and more focus on the human elements of behavior with proper interactive training. Only then will there be accountability to #changetheculture to a more healthy and prosperous environment, free from #abuse and #workplacesexualharassment.

#TimesUp. Let's #playniceatwork. For more on this and related topics, check out Play Nice - Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace , and join us at www.thesandboxseries.com .

R&B Legend R. Kelly—Found Guilty On All Counts

Tue, 28 Sep 2021 19:17:17 GMT

R&B Legend R. Kelly— Found Guilty On All Counts

The music industry may have a worse reputation than Hollywood when it comes to sexual harassment and abuse. Think about fans who will “do anything” to meet their idol musician, or the talented, up-and-coming stars, looking for mentorship and a “manager” without the experience to know what that relationship should entail and what is appropriate. Sexual misconduct and statutory rape with minors was not only permitted but glamorized in music and continues today. David Bowie, guitarist Jimmy Page, and Ted Nugent are some of the alleged violators who engaged in inappropriate relationships with minors.

One of the more notorious examples involves R&B legend R. Kelly, who reportedly mentally and physically abused young talent for his own personal sexual gain, keeping them captive in a cult-like environment and allegedly dictating every aspect of their lives. Until yesterday, numerous legal challenges over the years have failed to find Kelly responsible for any sexual harassment or assault. According to reports, he was tried in an Illinois court in 2008 for making child pornography but, after a six-year legal battle, he was eventually acquitted of all fourteen charges. He also settled multiple civil lawsuits involving sexually inappropriate behavior out-of-court for cash in exchange for the victims’ signatures on non-disclosure agreements ensuring their silence.

In 1994, R. Kelly married his then 15-year-old protege, Aaliyah (the marriage certificate incorrectly stated she was 18), meanwhile producing an album called “Age Ain’t Nothing But a Number.” The marriage was annulled the same year. In one case, parents were trying to get their daughter to leave Kelly’s home but because she was over 18 and unwilling to leave, there was nothing the parents could do .

In January 2019, Lifetime premiered a several part show called "Surviving R. Kelly" that reviewed his alleged mental and physical abuse of women, including minors, and his cult-like behavior of keeping young talent captive for his own personal sexual gain.

In a more bizarre twist of events, after being charged, R. Kelly appeared in his first interview with CBS’s Gayle King about his new legal troubles, where he appeared emotionally distraught, combative and angry, portraying himself as the victim of a social media smear campaign. The interview was notably parodied on “ Saturday Night Live .”

To make things even worse for R. Kelly, the following May, 11 new counts were added, four of which are for aggravated criminal sexual assault—a Class X felony that carries a sentence of up to 30 years—involving alleged forced sexual encounters with a minor in 2010.

There have been 30 years of allegations against R. Kelly, all of which he has denied. But now, victims of R. Kelly are finally getting the justice they deserve. Yesterday, a jury made up of seven men and five women in a federal court in Brooklyn found him guilty on all counts—one count of racketeering (running a criminal "enterprise" designed to "target, groom, and exploit girls, boys, and young women for his own sexual exploitation" with the assistance of a tight circle of loyal employees) and eight counts of violating an anti-sex-trafficking law known as the Mann Act. During the six-week trial, 45 witnesses testified to the horrifying allegations. R. Kelly's sentencing is scheduled for May 2022 where he faces 10 years to life in prison. An appeal is already planned.

R. Kelly is facing yet more charges— federal charges in Chicago and state charges in Illinois and Minnesota . It will be interesting to see if any of his employees will be charged for participating in Kelly's criminal enterprise.

We wrote Play Nice to help women and men deal with sexual harassment in the workplace immediately when it occurs — as a victim or bystander — to stop the behavior in its tracks, and to help women draw a line of respect and professionalism when it comes to bad behavior. Check out our book ‘Play Nice - Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace’ and join us for further discussion at www.thesandboxseries.com .

If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted, contact the National Sexual Assault Hotline here or by calling 1-800-656-HOPE (4673).

WHAT LESSONS CAN CORPORATE AMERICA LEARN FROM GOVERNOR CUOMO’S OFFICE SCANDAL?

Thu, 09 Sep 2021 20:39:29 GMT

WHAT LESSONS CAN CORPORATE AMERICA LEARN FROM GOVERNOR CUOMO’S OFFICE SCANDAL?

The much anticipated AG's report published August 9, 2021, found Governor Cuomo sexually harassed several women. In addition, the report further found that Mr. Cuomo and his aides cultivated a toxic work environment in his office that was rife with fear and intimidation and helped enable "harassment to occur and created a hostile work environment." In addition, Cuomo's office did not follow its policies and procedures related to sexual harassment complaints, violating state law. Cuomo's inner circle was "aware of the allegations and enabled him to harass women continually sexually, or just moved the women out." The findings of the report fueled calls for his resignation and impeachment.

Despite the explosion of #MeToo several years ago, toxic culture of sexual harassment is continuing. What will it take for work environments to make changes? Today, no administration, company, or office should have a culture where sexual harassment and bullying exists. There have been numerous high profile cases, that should have served as prime examples of what not to do. Examples include: Fox News [Roger Ailes, Bill O’Reilly, Ed Henry], CNBC and Leslie Moonves, NBC and Matt Lauer, The Carolina Panthers and Jerry Richardson, Wynn Resorts and Steve Wynn, Guess Inc. and Paul Marciano ,

Vice Media , McDonald’s, Goldman Sachs, Johnson & Johnson, Warner Brothers , and the latest: New York Governor Andrew Cuomo and his office.

Training on inappropriate behavior, including sexual harassment, bullying, racism, and discrimination, identifying and combatting such behavior, and what to do if such conduct does not cease, should be occurring regularly from the top down, starting with the boss. In the case of Governor Cuomo, we can only imagine how tough it must be to convince a difficult personality to understand behavior and commentary that constitutes sexual harassment, intimidation and bullying. The report quotes the 2016 Select Task Force of the EEOC: "senior management may be reluctant to challenge the behavior of their high value employees, and the high value employees, themselves, may believe that the general rules of the workplace do not apply to them."

Unfortunately, challenging characters are common. Either the violator holds a powerful position with influence over the job security of enablers or bystanders, or the violator is a valuable contributor to the organization's financial bottom line. Holding the violator accountable might risk stature, job security, reputation, and profitability.

Cuomo needed special personalized training to understand his objectionable conduct. Meaning, to avoid such behavior at all costs, and if he "slips," how to immediately apologize sincerely and not try to excuse his actions as innocent. As Cuomo noted several times in different public statements, the line with respect to sexual harassment has been "redrawn" or is now "outdated." Sexual harassment has always been wrong, and "the line" has always been the same. Cuomo himself implemented much-needed legislative changes on sexual harassment, including new policies, procedures, and training to be adapted for his office and state-wide in NY. He surely understood where "the line" was drawn.

The same applies to any other type of objectionable behavior, including discrimination, bullying, and racism—by any employee from the top down.

Governor Cuomo should have held himself accountable from the very beginning making no excuses. He should have apologized to those he sexually harassed or bullied with genuine remorse, committed to educating himself on the meaning of sexual harassment, intimidation, and bullying, and agreed to make needed changes—publicly. Regular updates on his progress would have shown genuine commitment.

The Governor's office implemented sexual harassment policies and procedures it failed to follow and enforce among its staff. Regular interactive training sessions and targeted corrective action involving Cuomo and applicable inner circle members with respect to inappropriate behavior, including sexual harassment, discrimination, and bullying, might have vetted and resolved any ongoing office culture issues. Instead, the AG’s report found "that the staff of the Executive Chamber…understood that loyalty to the Governor was highly valued, sometimes as much if not more so than the duties and obligations of one’s work, while any complaints or disagreements with the Governor could, and often did, lead to negative consequences. Such an environment created powerful incentives for employees to maintain their silence and a positive outward demeanor rather than risk being perceived as critical of the Governor or his loyal senior staff."

Cuomo's office allowed the objectionable behavior to continue, cultivating a toxic, unhealthy work environment laden with fear, intimidation, bullying, and disrespectful communications. Failure to enforce the policies and procedures "exacerbated the difficulties that women already faced in reporting and addressing sexual harassment."

If you are the target, don't be afraid to speak up if you feel someone is making you uncomfortable, even if that person is the boss. Draw a firm but a gentle line of respect. Communicate in a language that your boss or superior understands. Like Cuomo, if he has three daughters, ask him to stop and recognize that he would not want his daughters to experience similar behavior. He would surely understand. If you are not comfortable doing so or are worried about your job, ask for help from someone you trust can speak for you. It is not easy to combat bad behavior at the moment—especially if the violator is someone you fear could impact your job. Our book 'Play Nice - Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace' provides real-world examples and essential communication tools—to help women combat this type of behavior as a victim and help men and women when they are bystanders. Men are critical in this effort. Male intervention is beneficial since men will listen to men.

As for management, don't take #MeToo scandals involving companies and organizations for granted. If you have not already, take the time to hit that pause button and evaluate your work culture for toxic masculinity, sexual harassment, and racism. Educating employees and leaders regularly and effectively regarding prevention will likely engender a more healthy workplace of dignity and respect—free of expensive scandals, and ultimately improve your reputation and your bottom line health-related costs and profitability.

Suppose we can resolve inappropriate behavior at the moment, whether as a victim or a bystander, with good communication and creating a fruitful learning experience for the violator. In that case, we might avoid the filing of complaints and a toxic work environment. For more on this topic, please join us at www.thesandboxseries.com .

We should reward #upstanders and encourage companies to handle sexual harassment violations with transparency, respect, responsibility, and accountability. We will then move the needle and #changetheculture to a more healthy and prosperous environment, free from #abuse and #workplacesexualharassment. What will you do to effect meaningful change?

TEXAS EXPANDS SEXUAL HARASSMENT PROTECTIONS FOR ALL EMPLOYEES EFFECTIVE SEPTEMBER 1, 2021!!

Wed, 01 Sep 2021 19:44:33 GMT

TEXAS EXPANDS SEXUAL HARASSMENT PROTECTIONS FOR ALL EMPLOYEES EFFECTIVE SEPTEMBER 1, 2021!!

Here is a quick summary of how the changes affect Texas employers:

Change relating to number of employees:

Currently, employers with 15 or more employees must comply with the Texas Labor Code’s anti-sexual harassment laws. Effective September 1, 2021, pursuant to Senate Bill 45 (Tex. Lab. Code § 21.141) , employers with “one or more employees” must comply.

Change in the definition of who is considered an employer:

Senate Bill 45 defines “employer” as a person who “acts directly in the interests of an employer in relation to an employee.” As Polsinelli points out in their article in The National Law Review supervisors, managers, and co-workers (such as human resource professionals) may also be named as defendants in sexual harassment lawsuits and held personally responsible for damages—significant in that this potentially triggers individual liability against the alleged harasser. Further, there is now a possibility that other third parties, such as agents, vendors, clients, and independent contractors, might be considered “employers.” Companies might not want to only review their own policies and procedures for compliance, but also address potential liability issues in their client, vendor and service provider contracts.

The term “sexual harassment” is clarified:

Senate Bill 45 provides a more clear description of what constitutes “sexual harassment” to assist with the investigation of complaints: “an unwelcome sexual advance, a request for sexual favor, or any other verbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature if: (a) submission to the advance, request, or conduct is made a term or condition of an individual’s employment, either explicitly or implicitly; (b) submission to or rejection of the advance, request, or conduct by an individual is used as the basis for a decision affecting the individual’s employment; (c) the advance, request, or conduct has the purpose or effect of unreasonably interfering with an individual’s work performance; or (d) the advance, request, or conduct has the purpose or effect of creating an intimidating, hostile, or offensive working environment.”

Immediate and appropriate action following a complaint is required:

Senate Bill 45 provides that an unlawful employment practice occurs if an employee is subjected to sexual harassment and the “employer or employer’s agents or supervisors (1) know or should have known that the conduct constituting sexual harassment was occurring; and (2) fail to take immediate and appropriate corrective action.” Although the bill does not define “immediate and appropriate corrective action,” a heightened standard for employers to respond appears implied from the current requirement (“prompt remedial action”). It is now more imperative that the employer take any complaints seriously and immediately address concerns raised, which includes launching and pursuing an accurate, detailed and bonafide investigation, interviewing the parties involved, arranging for the alleged harasser to be placed on leave pending the outcome (or alternatively moving one or the other party to a different work area or department to avoid contact during such time), and bringing the investigation swiftly to a conclusion with proper remedial measures, such as firing of the harasser, if required.

Deadline for filing charges with the Texas Workforce Commission have been extended:

House Bill 21 (Tex. Lab. Code § 21.201(g) now allows Texas employees who believe they have suffered from unlawful employment practices based on sexual harassment events occuring after September 1, 2021, to file a charge with the Texas Workforce Commission within 300 days of the alleged event. For claims based on any other protected class under the Texas Labor Code (e.g., race, color, age, etc.), the current statute of limitations of 180 days will continue to apply.

Don't take #MeToo scandals involving companies and organizations for granted. Take the time to hit that pause button and evaluate your work culture for toxic masculinity, sexual harassment, and racism. Educating employees and company leaders regularly and effectively regarding prevention is likely to engender a more healthy workplace of dignity and respect and ultimately improve the bottom line concerning health-related costs and profitability. For more, please see our book ‘Play Nice - Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace,’ We address this subject and related topics in great detail with real-world examples and basic communication tools—to help women combat this type of behavior as a victim, and to help men and women when they are bystanders. Male intervention is especially helpful since men will listen to men.

We should reward #upstanders and encourage companies to support #MeToo and to handle sexual harassment violations with transparency, respect, responsibility and accountability. We will then move the needle and #changetheculture to a more healthy and prosperous environment, free from #abuse and #workplacesexualharassment. What will you do to make a difference?

GOVERNOR CUOMO RESIGNS WITH ANOTHER VIDEO!!

Wed, 11 Aug 2021 16:34:42 GMT

Governor Cuomo resigns with another video!!

Yesterday, Cuomo gave a stern lengthy video statement that concluded with his resignation.

Once again his apologies were flawed (trying to explain away his behavior as typical for him and innocent, instead of accepting the impact on his accusers), and there was no accountability for his actions.

Striking was what he said previously. In his statement, he says: "I have done it all my life. It's who I have been since I can remember. In my mind, I have never crossed the line with anyone, but I didn't realize the extent to which the line has been redrawn…There are generational and cultural shifts that I just didn't fully appreciate – and I should have. No excuses." His attorney, Rita Glavin, preceded Cuomo's address with her own statement , challenging the lack of corroborating evidence in the AG's report, making a similar comment: "Cuomo has had to change with the times."

Glavin and Cuomo both imply that Cuomo's behavior used to be acceptable, and today things have changed, boundaries have changed, and Cuomo's behavior is "outdated."

Cuomo and Glavin, the line has NEVER been "redrawn." There have been no generational or cultural shifts. Cuomo's behavior is not "outdated." Sexual harassment has always been wrong. Always. It is only in recent times that women have felt more comfortable reporting inappropriate behavior and laws have evolved to hold violators accountable. Much more must be done.

It is not ok to hug, touch, or kiss a person inappropriately or make comments or jokes that might be offensive to the opposite sex. Not even if you are the governor of the State of New York. Power and stature do not give you the right, nor does it make your actions "harmless," or command that you be perceived by women as innocent or non-intentional or merely bantering or joking. It is not about you. You are not the victim. It is about how your actions violated your accusers.

Addressing his three daughters, Cuomo says: "I want them to know from the bottom of my heart that I never did and I never would intentionally disrespect a woman or treat any woman differently than I would want them treated ." Cuomo is saying his behavior was appropriate and it would be ok to do the same to his daughters. He continues, "I made mistakes…and I learned from it." Did he learn from his mistakes? He does not believe he made any until he addresses the allegation from the state trooper. He does not remember the incidents but apologizes to her for being disrespectful and insensitive. A mistake, he says. Again, he blames her for misunderstanding his actions and intentions.

In summary, Cuomo believes politics are at play. Rashness and loudness have overtaken reasonableness and soundness. Facts, fairness, and the truth are no longer critical, he says. Cuomo concludes: "I love NY. I love you…I would never want to be unhelpful in any way… Given the circumstances, the best way I can help now is if I step aside and let the government get back to governing….doing the right thing is doing the right thing for you…"

Doing the right thing from the beginning would have been to hold himself accountable and taken seriously the sexual harassment policies he himself supported and caused to be implemented in NY City. After all, by implementing them, he should have understood the lines that were drawn.

New York Lt. Gov. Kathy Hochul will replace Cuomo and become NY's first female governor. ��

HOW DAMAGING WAS NY GOVERNOR'S VIDEO RESPONSE?

Mon, 09 Aug 2021 22:24:04 GMT

NY Assembly Gives Cuomo Until This Friday to Defend Himself In Wake of AG Sexual Harassment Findings - How Damaging Was His Immediate Video Response?

The AG’s investigative repor t encouraged by Cuomo “to prove his innocence” was finally issued Monday. The 165-page document, after interviewing the 11 women Cuomo is alleged to have sexually harassed and 179 witnesses is damning. The conclusion is no surprise. NY Governor Cuomo sexually harassed multiple women in violation of state and federal laws, including his own office’s written policies. His inner circle fostered a culture of fear and intimidation by allowing inappropriate flirtations and other sexually suggestive and gender-based comments by the Governor to continue, and complaints regarding same to be dismissed.

The next day, Cuomo issues a lengthy 15 minute video response —a text book example of how not to respond. Let’s examine why.

Cuomo continues to deny committing sexual harassment:

“I want you to hear it directly from me. I never touched anyone inappropriately, or made inappropriate sexual advances,” adding that at 63 he has lived his entire adult life in public view and that is not who he is.

The report concludes otherwise. According to certain complainants, Cuomo on multiple occasions, grabbed or groped their breasts; ran and pressed his hands on various parts of their bodies, including their stomachs, backs and legs; made sexually suggestive and gender-based comments about their appearance and asked them about their love lives. He also told women they “looked great for (their) age,” or asked them what they thought about monogamy, and told them they “weren’t ready” for work if they weren’t dressed nicely or wearing makeup.

According to Cuomo, his complainants are liars, and he did not sexually harass or assault them. The report itself is faulty and follows a political agenda.

Complainants were confused about his intentions:

Of the 11 women who made allegations, Cuomo states one bothered him the most - Charlotte Bennett. He does not believe he sexually harassed her and wants to explain any comments he made.

Cuomo claims Bennett disclosed to him that she was a survivor of sexual assault and came to work for him, given the progress his office had made with respect to sexual harassment laws and #MeToo. Because of his personal experience with a family member (he does not name) who was struggling with the aftermath of a sexual assault, Cuomo believed he could help Bennett “with her pain” based on what he learned with his own family. His goal was to help her, but instead, Bennett and her attorney, “… read into comments that I made and drew inferences that I never meant.” "Simply put, they heard things that I just didn't say."

Sexual assault is traumatizing for any victim. Even if you were to buy that he was trying to help her (which we do not believe based on the details of his alleged interactions with Bennett in the report), he should not have engaged but instead referred her to available resources or notified the human resources department to help her. He should have kept his relationship with her purely professional.

Cuomo's denials continue:

As for the woman who claims Cuomo groped her in his office and has remained anonymous, Cuomo says that never happened. He is calling her a liar. He has since been alerted that she will file a legal complaint for damages, which he welcomes. Cuomo says a court of law should decide issues like this, not newspapers or biased reviews, or as he later notes, politics.

Cuomo defends his ‘public displays of affection’ as appropriate:

A few complainants took offense to Cuomo's touching their face or kissing them on the cheek or forehead. Cuomo's response? He does that all of the time with everyone, old, young, black, white, straight, and LBGTQ, influential people, strangers, and friends—a show of affection he learned from his parents. His video continues with numerous evidentiary pictures taken from public appearances. These public displays of affection, Cuomo says, are meant to convey warmth, empathy, and his appreciation of others, adding, "I do kiss people on the forehead. I do kiss people on the cheek. I do kiss people on the hand. I do embrace people."

Cuomo says his behavior is ok because he does that to everyone, and he has been doing it privately and publicly most of his adult life.

Cuomo does not understand that certain behavior and touching are not appropriate, especially if made without consent. Everyone has a different threshold of what might be ok, and it is always safer to ask for permission first. Any kissing (including on someone's cheek, head, or neck), touching inappropriate places (including someone's waist during a photo opportunity), someone's leg, a bareback, or a lingering touch on someone's body is not appropriate if made without consent. It does not matter if you do it frequently or that no one has objected during all of that time.

Cuomo says he "slips" on occasion using the terms sweetheart, darling, or honey, banters with people and may tell jokes "some better than others." He says he does so to put people at ease, make them smile, or show appreciation, and that he has always been the same, in public and in private, for 40 years. His comment that he "slips" on occasion admits that using those terms is not appropriate.

Is he saying that it is ok for him since he holds a public position with influence?

Cuomo does not apologize and hold himself accountable:

He is only sorry for how his communications and actions were “perceived” or “misunderstood”. He says, none of his behavior was meant to offend, arguing that his complainants did not really feel harmed or violated. According to experts , this is typical for sexual harassers. They tell their victims how they should have felt, turning the tables to make the violator look like a victim.

In his statement, Cuomo says he now understands that there may be generational and cultural perspectives that he did not fully appreciate and has now learned from this experience. His office has hired an expert that will publish a new sexual harassment policy that will serve as a model and his entire team, including him, will receive training. He says he accepts responsibility and will be making changes.

First, Cuomo is using generational and cultural perspectives to excuse his behavior. Cuomo is out of touch. Despite his age, this type of behavior has never been ok, and sexual harassment is not a cultural issue. Second, the #MeToo movement shined a much-needed light on a severe problem that has finally allowed for new protective laws to be considered and enacted, although much more is required. Cuomo was an active participant in these efforts. There are countless press clippings of Cuomo supporting #TimesUp and #MeToo causes. How does he not understand what constitutes sexual harassment or assault? He is an intelligent guy. We are confident that Cuomo's prior sexual harassment training mandated by his office included inappropriate behavior examples.

Finally, Cuomo has three adult daughters. Surely, like many of us with daughters, there have been plenty of #MeToo discussions in his household. There are awful examples of violators in the news every single day. Is Cuomo not paying attention? The details of this story are not unique and are repetitive of many prior violators and their office practices. Why are companies and violators not taking note?

Cuomo claims a toxic work environment is required:

At the end of his video, Cuomo addresses complaints that relate to allegations of a toxic work environment laden with fear and intimidation. According to Cuomo, his office is not a typical government office. It is a demanding place to work, and they work very, very hard. The stakes his office deals with are high (including sometimes, life and death), and they must get the job done. It is not a place for the faint-hearted. So, in essence, according to Cuomo, it is appropriate to treat people with disrespect, bully, incite fear, and intimidate. It is appropriate to aid and abet bad behavior and foster a toxic, unhealthy work environment—to get things done.

Cuomo’s conclusion:

In summary, Cuomo believes that politics are in play and it is ugly business. He will fight until the end to get “good things done” for the people of NY. In his view, the people of NY can see through the politics. He adds, those who are using this moment to seek political gain or publicity (implying the AG, those demanding his impeachment or resignation, and his complainants), “are discrediting the legitimate sexual harassment victims the law is seeking to protect.” In other words, Cuomo did nothing wrong. All of his opponents are out to get him.

Shameful and very disappointing.

Cuomo closes the video with an appeal to New Yorkers and a reminder of how much they have overcome, together, to get through the pandemic and how much more must be done. He wants to keep his job.

Author’s Conclusion:

The Governor's office implemented sexual harassment policies and procedures that should have required regular training of all employees, including Cuomo and his most inner circle. Complaints should have been immediately addressed, with further proper and special training for Cuomo regarding his inappropriate behavior and bullying communications. Regular interactive training sessions and targeted corrective action involving Cuomo might have vetted and resolved any ongoing office culture issues. In our book 'Play Nice - Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace, ' we address this topic in great detail to help the human resources department address and process complaints with diligence, better communication, and transparency. Our book also provides real-world examples and essential communication tools—to help women combat this type of behavior as a victim and to help men and women when they are bystanders. If we can resolve bad behavior in the moment, whether as a victim or a bystander, with good communication and creating a fruitful learning experience for the violator, we might avoid filing of complaints and a toxic work environment.

As for Cuomo, he either received lousy advice, or his ego is preventing him from self-evaluation. Had Cuomo held himself accountable from the beginning (especially as complaints were mounting) and apologized sincerely and publicly for his behavior and for making his complainants uncomfortable, he may have avoided the land-slide that ensued.

Cuomo should have asked for forgiveness and committed to retaking proper training to change his ways and then kept the public informed on his progress. He should have promised his daughters and complainants that he would do everything necessary to become a better man, with honesty and integrity. He may have avoided the lengthy and expensive investigation. Maybe his complainants would have forgiven him.

Instead, with every denial Cuomo made came more complaints and the investigation he encouraged. Now Cuomo is facing criminal legal action, potential impeachment, and calls for his resignation.

INVESTIGATION REPORT FINDS NY GOVERNOR CUOMO GUILTY OF SEXUAL HARASSMENT

Tue, 03 Aug 2021 23:43:11 GMT

INVESTIGATION REPORT FINDS NY GOVERNOR CUOMO GUILTY OF SEXUAL HARASSMENT

Bad news for Governor Cuomo‼️

The much anticipated independent investigation he insisted be launched concludes that Governor Cuomo “sexually harassed multiple women, including current and former government workers, and retaliated against at least one of the women for making her complaints public.”

The report further f inds that Mr. Cuomo and his aides cultivated a toxic work environment in his office that was rife with fear and intimidation, and helped enable ‘harassment to occur and created a hostile work environment.’ I n addition, Cuomo’s office did not follow its own policies and procedures related to sexual harassment complaints, violating state law. C uomo's inner circle was “aware of the allegations and enabled him to continually sexually harass women, or just moved the women out.” The findings of the report are likely to support calls for his resignation and impeachment.

Is anyone surprised? Governor Cuomo should have held himself accountable from the very beginning making no excuses. He should have apologized to those he sexually harassed with genuine contrition, committed to educate himself on the meaning of sexual harassment, intimidation and bullying, and agreed to make needed changes—publicly. He should have then resigned as governor.

Instead, he insisted on an investigation that has left no stone unturned after interviewing 179 plus witnesses at a high cost to the NY tax payers. The 165 page report, now available for all to read, provides ugly details of his personality, behavior, and intimidating influence, and is raising questions about Cuomo’s lack of apology and remorse and enabling behavior of his staff. Why did his office not follow their own policies and procedures on sexual harassment complaints? Were they bystanders or enablers?

Unfortunately, this happens all of the time. Either the violator holds a powerful position with influence over job security of enablers or bystanders , or the violator is a valuable contributor to the organization’s financial bottom line and holding the violator accountable would risk profitability.

Either Cuomo received very bad advice or he could not get past his ego. Waiting until conclusion of the investigation to address the sexual harassment complaints (and to take a hard look at himself and make changes) was a huge mistake, which is likely to cost him his career. He should resign to minimize any further trauma to his family, especially his two daughters. If he doesn’t he is likely to be impeached.

Regardless, Cuomo’s troubles are just beginning. There are a number of other ongoing investigations, including, whether he improperly used state resources while he wrote and promoted his book on the pandemic for which he allegedly collected an advance of 5 million dollars , and most seriously over his administration’s handling of nursing home deaths during the pandemic .

Educating employees and company leaders regularly and effectively regarding prevention is likely to engender a more healthy workplace of dignity and respect and ultimately improve the bottom line concerning health-related costs and profitability. In our book ‘Play Nice - Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace,’ we address this topic in great detail with real-world examples and basic communication tools—to help women combat this type of behavior as a victim and to help men and women when they are bystanders.

Lesson: Encouraging the Upstander!

Mon, 07 Jun 2021 15:45:50 GMT

Being an engaged Bystander Can Make a Difference!

How many times have you been a witness, bystander or enabler to bad behavior in the workplace? Maybe the behavior made you uncomfortable and you did not want to get involved for fear of ridicule or retaliation from your colleagues? You thought, surely someone else will report the behavior? Or maybe you were too scared to speak up for fear of being labeled a trouble maker and potentially affecting your job security? It takes a village to change the culture and prevalence of sexual harassment in the sandbox of the workplace. This village includes you, whether executive or employee.

If you sense an uncomfortable reaction or witness offensive behavior, don’t be a bystander. Be an upstander and say something!

Intervening in a safe and gentle manner can be a powerful show of support for the recipient of the objectionable behavior. A simple comment might have impact such as “Hey, not cool! Be respectful. You are violating company policy!” Men will listen to men and speaking up and taking a stand, might underscore your leadership qualities. Staying silent might make you complicit.

Here are some other Upstander tips:

If a colleague keeps making inappropriate comments in a crowd, pull him aside and alert him to the potential consequences of his behavior;
If you are worried about addressing the behavior directly, ask his superior to talk to him;
If you encounter a group of frequent violators, make the time to educate them on the company’s sexual harassment policies and potential consequences;
If you sense a target of the sexual harassment is uncomfortable, find a reason to extract her from the situation (I have a report to show you; Ready for the conference call?; Do you have a minute for a question?);
If you discover that a colleague becomes visibly uncomfortable in the presence of another colleague, find a time to talk to her. She may be suffering from sexual harassment and may need help and support;
Offer your support or help to a victim. You may be able to help talk to the violator, his superior, or accompany the victim to Human Resources for support;
If you determine that your witness account might be helpful to the victim, document the incident in detail and offer to be a witness if the victim elects to report;
If you are a senior employee, an executive, a human resources representative, or the boss, set the example of being an upstander and encourage others to do the same;
If you are a senior employee, an executive, a human resources representative, or the boss, encourage reporting to superiors and HR if necessary, especially if the behavior is offensive, persistent, or repetitive.

Reward upstanders and encourage companies to handle sexual harassment violations with transparency, respect, responsibility and accountability. Only then will we move the needle and #changetheculture to a more healthy and prosperous environment, free from #abuse and #workplacesexualharassment. #TimesUp. Let’s #playnice.

For more info on this subject and related topics, please check out our book Play Nice - Playground Rules for Respect in the Work Place and visit o ur website at www.thesandboxseries.com .

COMBATTING DOMESTIC ABUSE WITH FINANCIAL INDEPENDENCE

Fri, 14 May 2021 21:57:47 GMT

Combatting Domestic Abuse With Financial Independence

Financial abuse in a relationship can take many forms, including, limiting access to bank accounts and funds, restricting and monitoring purchasing needs, using intimidation and threats when it comes to money spent on family or personal items, and siphoning shared funds by the violator. The impact can be devastating and make it much more difficult to leave the relationship. Here are some helpful resources on how to recognize the abuse, recover, and gain financial independence.

EXPLAINING BOUNDARIES: IF YOU SEE A TEACHING MOMENT, TAKE ADVANTAGE!

Tue, 11 May 2021 22:26:52 GMT

Explaining Boundaries: If you see a teaching moment, take advantage!

If a hug or embrace, a hand on your back, or a kiss on the head, make you uncomfortable, let that person know immediately—gently if possible or with a bit of humor. We all have different comfort thresholds for human touch, especially if that person is a stranger, a superior, or someone who does not have permission to touch you.

It’s no excuse that the violator ‘is part of an older generation who does not know any better, ’ or ‘is a boss or superior.’ Don ’ t be afraid to take a stand or to educate. Your body belongs to you, not to any other person.

Especially in today ’ s environment of #MeToo, your prompt education of what might not be appropriate are more likely to be welcome and appreciated —and you will be drawing a firm line of respect.

Some behavior may seem innocent—such as taking a picture with a person who puts his hand around your waist and holds you tight. If that touch is ‘too close and personal,’ remove his hand immediately and say something like: “Wait, too close and personal!” Use a light-hearted voice and smile so he does not take offense. If he does not understand or seems confused, let him know that touching makes you uncomfortable. A casual, non-threatening tone is best.

If the behavior does not stop, then communicate more firmly. If the violator is still not getting the message despite your efforts, remove yourself from the situation and seek help from a person with influence. If all else fails and the behavior occurs at work, go to human resources and file a complaint.

Any touching that is not welcome or without consent is never appropriate, no matter how ‘innocent’ such behavior may seem. Addressing the behavior immediately on the spot, might help the violator understand your concern and learn from it. For many, a potentially career saving move.

What will you do today to be #beupstanding and help #changetheculture for an environment without #sexualharassment, #abuse, and #racism? #TimesUp. Let’s #playnice. To learn more, check out “Play Nice - Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace,” and join us at www.thesandboxseries.com .

ALLEGED HAZING GETS CHEERLEADING SQUAD SUSPENDED!!

Sun, 04 Apr 2021 19:59:55 GMT

ALLEGED HAZING GETS CHEERLEADING SQUAD SUSPENDED!!

��ALLEGED HAZING GETS CHEERLEADING SQUAD SUSPENDED‼️

University of Central Oklahoma suspends squad for remainder of yea r while the allegations are investigated. No details of the hazing were initially provided other than a description from the University’s President that the hazing occurred August 13, 2020 and involved “unacceptable and abhorrent activities.” Further punishment announced includes prohibition to participate in national competitions for two years. If any member is found to have participated, they will be subject to removal from the team and suspension from the school. According to President Neuhold-Ravikumar, “The UCO cheer team should embody the spirit of our community—encouraging us to give our best effort and to represent our university with pride and dignity.” An open records’ request by Oklahoma’s News Channel 4 made the details of the hazing public, including allegations that members were blindfolded, were asked to answer questions that were sexual in nature, were asked to perform lap dances, were asked to grind against objects in a sexual manner, and some of the underaged team members were served alcohol.

According to the News 4 report , some team members (along with their parents) have appealed the University’s decision claiming the event was a “team-building exercise,” optional and voluntary, and that the members did not at any time feel hazed.

Are you confused? We are! How are any activities that are sexual and potentially embarrassing or degrading to the persons called to perform such activities appropriate for a team-building exercise? Are organization leaders and members, including women, receiving anti-hazing education regularly or at all? Are our young adults not learning appropriate conduct at home? Much more education is needed. Team building should include activities that help women acquire the tools to combat bad behavior, increase confidence, and make women stronger—not perpetuate traumatic experiences resulting from degrading behavior. Women get that every single day from men. We should not be enduring such behavior from our sisters!

The University has agreed to hear and consider the appeal. We hope the #universityofcentraloklahoma stands its ground. Stay tuned for the ultimate outcome.

What will you do today to be #beupstanding and help #changetheculture for an environment without #sexualharassment, #abuse, and #racism? #TimesUp. Let’s #playnice. For more info on this topic and other related issues, check out “Play Nice - Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace,” and join us at www.thesandboxseries.com .

DESHAUN WATSON - REPUTATION UNDER FIRE!

Wed, 31 Mar 2021 20:46:53 GMT

DESHAUN WATSON - REPUTATION UNDER FIRE!

Hit the Pause Button and Assess Your Own Personal Behavior ‼️

Deshaun Watson, 25, three-time Pro Bowler and one of the NFL’s highest-paid quarterbacks is by all accounts a stand-up reputable nice guy. Now, his character is under the microscope for his affinity for massages where he allegedly demands sexual favors and makes unwelcome sexual advances on his masseuses. Since mid March of this year, 19 civil lawsuits have been filed against him in the Harris County District Court alleging sexual harassment and assault during 20 plus massage appointments over the past year in multiple states and venues, including one in early March. If true, a pattern of inappropriate and potentially criminal behavior.

Despite the explosion of #MeToo, the toxic culture of sexual harassment is continuing and men are not learning from all of the scandals that are prominently displayed in the news every single day. How is that possible?

What will it take for violators to take a hard look at their own behaviors and make changes? Permanent changes. Have they not learned that just one incident and certainly a pattern of bad behavior can ruin careers? We have seen plenty recently involving the Mets , hitting coordinator Ryan Ellis and general manager Jared Porter, and the Los Angeles Angels pitching coach Mickey Callaway.

The allegations involving Watson range from refusing to cover his genitals to forcing women to touch his genitals and give him oral sex—during massages. Watson is a celebrity. His notoriety and commanding presence are likely intimidating, making it easy for him to pray on vulnerable women who may not know how to respond or handle themselves in the moment. Paying for a massage does not mean Watson has paid for any kind of sexual gratification. If this was his understanding, did he have express permission from his masseuses? Was this discussed and approved in advance, verbally or in writing? If not, he used his notoriety to intimidate and pray on these women.

The legal process will have to play out for the 19 lawsuits filed to date and any others that may surface. The news of the first filing broke on the evening of March 16 after Plaintiff’s Lawyer Tony Buzbee disclosed the news on social media, and details of the first lawsuit came out the following morning. Watson is denying the allegations.

Watson requested a trade in January after Coach Bill O’Brien was fired four weeks in to the season and the hiring of general manager Nick Caserio. This after Watson signed a four-year, $156 million contract last September. It is not likely that any team will want to risk a trade for Watson who until recently enjoyed a stellar reputation. The NFL is investigating the sexual assault allegations under their ‘personal conduct policy’ and it will be interesting to see what punishment, if any, Watson will receive if he is found culpable. The league has recently struggled to deal with cases like this.

Watson could be facing more civil lawsuits and potentially criminal charges.

How are you tackling sexual harassment within your own personal circles? What will you do today to be #beupstanding to help #changetheculture for an environment without #sexualharassment? Check out our book ‘Play Nice - Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace’ and join us for further discussion at www.thesandboxseries.com .

APOLOGIZING FOR SEXUAL HARASSMENT? CHECK OUT TOM REED'S APOLOGY‼️

Wed, 24 Mar 2021 02:15:44 GMT

APOLOGIZING FOR SEXUAL HARASSMENT? CHECK OUT TOM REED'S APOLOGY‼️

APOLOGIZING FOR SEXUAL HARASSMENT? CHECK OUT TOM REED’S APOLOGY‼️

Rep. Tom Reed (R-N.Y.) announced Sunday that he will not be running for any elected office in 2022 (including to challenge NY Governor Cuomo) after allegations surfaced that he sexually harassed a former lobbyist (now Army second lieutenant), Nicolette Davis, several years ago. This after Reed himself called for Cuomo to be impeached for the sexual harassment allegations leveled against him, stating in February “These incidents of sexual harassment and pattern of abuse are abhorrent and have absolutely no place in our society, let alone the highest rungs of government. Such behavior is disturbing and unacceptable.” Reed has a record of actively supporting women’s rights.

In a story published by The Washington Post , Davis claims Reed “rubbed her back and thigh and unhooked her bra at an Irish bar in Minnesota while she was working as a lobbyist for an insurance company.” When he placed his hand on her thigh with upward motion, she asked a colleague for help and Reed was escorted out of the restaurant.

Contrary to Cuomo’s initial progressive “non-apologies” and continued denial, defense and refusal to own up to his actions, Reed’s apology on Sunday (which followed an initial denial a few days prior) is direct, sincere and on point: “First, I apologize to Nicolette Davis. Even though I am only hearing of this matter as stated by Ms. Davis in the artic le now, I hear her voice and will not dismiss her . In reflection, my personal depiction of this event is irrelevant . Simply put, my behavior caused her pain, showed her disrespect and was unprofessional. I was wrong, I am sorry, and I take full responsibility . I further apologize to my wife and kids, my family, the people of the 23rd District, my colleagues, and those who have supported me for the harm this caused them.

Second, I want to share that this occurred at a time in my life in which I was struggling. Upon entering treatment in 2017, I recognized that I am powerless over alcohol. I am now approaching four years of that personal lifelong journey of recovery. With the support of my wife, kids and loved ones, professional help, and trust in a higher power, I continue that journey day-by-day. This is in no way an excuse for anything I’ve done . Consistent with my recovery, I publicly take ownership of my past actions, offer this amends and humbly apologize again to Ms. Davis , my wife and kids, loved ones, and to all of you. Third, I plan to dedicate my time and attention to making amends for my past actions. In addition to apologizing to those I have impacted, including Ms. Davis , I will be seeking to help those wrestling with addiction in any way I can. To others who may be struggling the way I have, please know that by seeking help your life will be forever changed in an extremely positive way. Though the journey is hard please know the rewards are amazing and you are worth it.

As I go forward, I will strive to be a better human being, continue to fight for what I believe in, and to make people’s lives better in any way I can. I hope this formal apology is just the start. ”

According to reports , Davis has accepted Reed’s apology stating: “I am grateful for Congressman Reed’s reflection on his actions. I accept his apology. I hope that his words and actions will be an example for others who face similar allegations.”

Cuomo should take notes. Read our take on how he should have responded from the very beginning to his accusers in our blogs . It will be interesting to see what the continued fallout, if any, will be for Reed following his apology as compared to the "apology" from Cuomo. His “non-apology” opened a door for other accusers to come forward and share their experiences—we believe, in part, to educate Cuomo and the general public, that he has engaged in a pattern of misconduct that he should publically acknowledge and recon with.

We applaud Reed’s apology. Hopefully he is sincere and will follow through on his commitments.

For more on this subject, visit us at www.thesandboxseries.com and check out our new book “Play Nice - Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace.”

CUOMO'S APOLOGY FAILED - WHAT SHOULD HE HAVE SAID?

Tue, 09 Mar 2021 03:58:11 GMT

NY Governor's Apology Failed - What he should have said

Instead of an emotional, heart-felt, honest and direct apology, he engaged in a progression of “non-apologies” which have not been helpful and have only made things worse for him.

Saturday’s non-apology was to deny that he “made advances” toward his accuser. Sunday’s version was to acknowledge that “some of the things I have said have been misinterpreted as an unwanted flirtation.” In other words, he did nothing wrong.

Wednesday’s slightly improved version was for Cuomo to center the focus upon himself, not his accusers. “I never knew at the time that I was making anyone feel uncomfortable…I now understand that I acted in a way that made people feel uncomfortable. It was unintentional and I truly and deeply apologize for it. I feel awful about it, and frankly, I am embarrassed by it, and that's not easy to say but that's the truth." He added that he never touched anyone he worked with inappropriately.

Cuomo knew his statements were inappropriate at the time he made them. His actions were in fact intentional, he just did not appreciate how they would be taken. Is it because he thought his accusers would respond positively? Of course he is embarrassed. He got caught. His emphasis statement that ‘he never touched anyone inappropriately,’ if true, does not make up for any of the comments he made or other behaviors that were not appropriate. Those comments and inappropriate behaviors constitute sexual harassment all on their own.

In a question and answer session after his Wednesday press conference, Cuomo states, "I understand that sensitivities have changed and behavior has changed." NO! His statement is wrong on so many levels. Sensitivities have never changed. Sexual harassment has never been ok or appropriate and has always caused trauma to its victims. The #MeToo movement has shined a very important floodlight on a centuries’ old pervasive problem. Finally, this floodlight is forcing changes in behavior that has been tolerated for far too long.

Further, it does not matter whether Cuomo’s behavior was made with intent to harm or not. The test is whether his words or conduct made his accusers feel uncomfortable or were unwelcome. Cuomo should know. NY has zero tolerance for sexual harassment and he would have been required to take the mandatory sexual harassment training that was mandated by his own administration for everyone employed in New York State as of Oct. 8, 2019.

Here is what Cuomo should have said: “I fully support my accusers’ coming forward to call me out on my behavior which I will not excuse. I did not appreciate the impact of my comments and actions at the time they were made and I cannot and will not defend them. I should know better. I have 3 daughters and if anyone behaved that way towards them, I would be very upset. My behavior was inappropriate and for that I sincerely apologize to each of my accusers. I will make every effort to educate myself on all matters sexual harassment in short order so this does not happen again. You have my promise.” Honest, direct and genuine.

C harlotte Bennett, one of h is accusers, reported Cuomo’s sexually harassing behavior immediately to his Chief of Staff and Chief Counsel. Her attorney is confident that Cuomo was made aware of her complaint and believes that the Attorney General's investigation will demonstrate that Cuomo’s administration officials failed to act on Ms. Bennett's serious allegations or to ensure that corrective measures were taken, in violation of legal requirements.

Cuomo has emplored New Yorker’s to wait for the facts from the attorney general investigating the matter before forming an opinion on his actions. For now he says, “I have learned an important lesson. I will be the better for this experience.” We question what lesson he learned. He should explain what he learned to change his behavior going forward.

If the allegations are found to be true, Cuomo will likely be forced to resign.

In the interim, Cuomo’s list of accusers is growing .

For guidance on what constitutes sexual harassment and what men can do to help change behavior for themselves and as a bystander, check out our book 'Play Nice - Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace,’ and join us at thesandboxseries.com .

RISE AND FALL OF NY GOVERNOR CUOMO?

Wed, 03 Mar 2021 21:14:00 GMT

RISE AND FALL OF GOVERNOR CUOMO?

New York Governor can’t catch a break.

A second former aide (age 25) has now acc used Cuomo of asking invasive personal questions about her sex life—would she sleep with older men, commenting he might consider relationships with women in their 20s. If true, clearly inappropriate for a boss/subordinate relationship.

Is #MeToo not resonating?

These allegations come just days after another aide detailed her experiences over several years against the governor (including kissing her without her consent), claiming in part Cuomo “created a culture within his administration where sexual harassment and bullying is so pervasive that it is not only condoned but expected……he used intimidation to silence his critics….if you dared to speak up, you would face consequences.”

The three-term governor drew praise in the early days of Covid-19 with his comforting and seemingly heart-felt and honest daily press conferences. Now, he is facing bipartisan calls for independent investigations both in to the sexual harassment claims and the failure of his office to release the full data on Covid-19 deaths in nursing homes.

Despite the explosion of #MeToo several years ago, toxic culture of sexual harassment is continuing. What will it take for work environments to make changes? Today, no administration, company, or office should have a culture where sexual harassment and bullying exists at all. Training on inappropriate behavior, including sexual harassment, bullying, racism, and discrimination, how to identify and combat such behavior, and what to do if such behavior does not cease, should be occurring regularly from the top down, starting with the boss.

Conversations should be open, honest and frequent. If you are the target, don’t be afraid to speak up if you feel someone is making you uncomfortable. Even if that person is the boss. Draw a firm, but gentle line of respect. Communicate in a language that your boss or superior understands. If he has three daughters, like Cuomo, ask him to stop and understand that he would not want his daughters to experience similar behavior. He would surely understand. If you are not comfortable doing so or are worried about your job, ask for help from someone you trust can speak for you. It is not easy to combat bad behavior in the moment. Especially, if the violator is someone you fear could impact your job.

As for administration, don't take #MeToo scandals involving companies and organizations for granted. If you have not already, take the time to hit that pause button and evaluate your work culture for toxic masculinity, sexual harassment, and racism. Educating employees and leaders regularly and effectively regarding prevention is likely to engender a more healthy workplace of dignity and respect—free of expensive scandals, and ultimately improve your reputation, and your bottom line health-related costs and profitability.

In our book ‘Play Nice - Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace,’ we address this topic in great detail with real-world examples and basic communication tools—to help women combat this type of behavior as a victim, and to help men and women when they are bystanders. Male intervention is especially helpful since men will listen to men.

We should reward #upstanders and encourage companies to handle sexual harassment violations with transparency, respect, responsibility and accountability. We will then move the needle and #changetheculture to a more healthy and prosperous environment, free from #abuse and #workplacesexualharassment.

For more on this topic, please join us at www.thesandboxseries.com .

GYMNASTIC’S COACH SUICIDE DEPRIVES VICTIMS OF JUSTICE

Tue, 02 Mar 2021 19:11:57 GMT

TUESDAY’S COMMENT: Gymnastic's Coach Suicide Deprives Victims of Justice

In a shocking development surrounding the sexual abuse horrors of the Gymnastic’s world, John Geddert, former US Olympic’s gymnastic’s coach commits suicide Thursday, hours after he is charged with two dozen felony charges and just prior to his scheduled arraignment. Charges against him include lying to police, sexual assault, racketeering, and 20 counts of human trafficking by using "force, fraud, and coercion" against the young athletes for his financial benefit. Except for the charge of “lying to police”, which carries a 4 year sentence, the other felony charges were for maximum sentences ranging 15 years to life in prison. Now his accusers will not receive the justice they deserve.

The human trafficking charges were added to address Geddert’s coaching practices , commonly employed in highly elite and competitive sports, where training of young athletes is intense and tough, but is increasingly seen as inappropriate and dangerous –or, in this case, potentially criminal. The goal—to stop coaches from abusing or continuing to abuse their athletes.

The term “human trafficking” not only refers to sexual exploitation but to coerced labor of any kind. According to Michigan Attorney General Dana Nessel: “The victims suffered from eating disorders, including bulimia and anorexia, suicide attempts and self-harm, excessive physical conditioning, repeatedly being forced to perform even when injured, extreme emotional abuse and physical abuse, including sexual assault…Many of these victims still carry these scars from [Geddert’s] behavior to this day.”

Mr. Geddert owned and operated Twistars USA Gymnastic’s facility located in Dimondale, Michigan, near Lansing, for decades, where he trained Jordyn Wieber (2011 World Champion), and later became the head coach of the 2012 gold-medal-winning women's gymnastic squad led by the "Fierce Five" of Gabby Douglas, Jordyn Wieber, Aly Raisman, Kyla Ross and McKayla Maroney. Twistars is the same gym where disgraced doctor Larry Nassar molested dozens of gymnasts under the guise of “medical treatment,” including members of the Fierce Five. According to victim testimonies, Geddert and Nassar worked closely for years and Geddert not only knew about Nassar’s sexual abuse of the gymnasts, but enabled him. Later when questioned about his knowledge, he lied to authorities. Geddert was then suspended by USA Gymnastics and he immediately retired.

Larry Nassar, an osteopathic physician, treated hundreds of young athletes, including at Michigan State University, the U.S. women’s national team, and the U.S. women’s Olympic team over several decades and was sentenced to 60 years in federal prison for possession of child pornography, and another 40-175 years in a Michigan state prison for 10 counts of sexual assault. In January 2018, more than 150 girls and women abused by Nassar gave formal victim impact statements against him in a Michigan court. Some spoke of Geddert’s harsh coaching practices.

The fallout from Nassar’s crimes resulted in resignations of leadership at Michigan State, USA Gymnastics and the USOPC, and a $500 million settlement between Nassar’s victims and Michigan State.

Geddert was one of five people charged with crimes relating to Nassar’s abuses, including former Michigan State president Lou Anna Simon, the school’s former medical school dean and gymnastic’s coach. Simon’s charges have since been dismissed.

What will you do today to be #beupstanding and help #changetheculture for an environment without #sexualharassment, #abuse and #racism? #TimesUp. Let’s #playnice. For more info on this topic and other related issues, check ou t “ Play Nice - Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace ,” and join us at www.thesandboxseries.com .

PROMISING YOUNG WOMAN - A MOVIE REVIEW

Sat, 27 Feb 2021 23:14:24 GMT

��OUR REVIEW OF PROMISING YOUNG WOMAN—STRAP YOURSELF IN FOR A WILD RIDE‼️

The story is familiar. “Promising” (affluent, white young men) routinely excused from sexual assault charges or shown leniency to protect their future careers, and victims, slut shamed, “who asked for it”, because they were too drunk to consent.

Promising Young Woman follows Cassie, a medical student who drops out to help her best friend after an unpunished rape which eventually leads to her suicide. Consumed by the lack of empathy of their friends, school officials, the legal system, and the perpetrator, Cassie embarks on a calculated mission to avenge her best friend’s tragedy upon those responsible, to shine a light on the impact of sexual violence on the victim, the importance of speaking out as a bystander, and the misconception that privilege should give a violator a pass.

It also explores the pervasive ways we continue to blame women for their own sexual assault—that somehow “she asked for it.” We are reminded again that factors like manner of dress (or lack thereof), previous consensual sex, a reputation for promiscuity, or level of intoxication, cannot replace active and enthusiastic consent.

What will you do today to be #beupstanding and help #changetheculture for an environment without #sexualharassment, #abuse and #racism? #TimesUp. Let’s #playnice. For more info on this topic and other related issues, check out “Play Nice - Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace,” and join us at www.thesandboxseries.com .

CHRIS D'ELIA'S SELF DIAGNOSIS: "SEX CONTROLLED MY LIFE!"

Tue, 23 Feb 2021 02:30:43 GMT

CHRIS D'ELIA'S SELF DIAGNOSIS? "SEX CONTROLLED MY LIFE!"

Comedian Chris D’Elia combats allegations of Sexual Misconduct with a YouTube Video “Sex controlled my life” explanation�� Let’s examine his explanation.

Known most recently for his role as ‘Henderson’ on the popular Netflix Series “You,” D’Elia acknowledges that what may have been reported in emails and press “looks bad,” but he denies the recent allegations, claiming all of his relationships “have been consensual and legal….[and] that’s the truth.” He goes on to explain that it has been tough over the past several months to take a hard look at himself and to realize that he had and still has a “problem” with “sex controlling his life” and thinking about it (sex) all of the time. He explains that as he became more famous, it became easier to hook up with women, especially when he was on the road and after shows. All he had to do is respond to the many emails he would receive every night. He says he would tell them to come to his room for sex and he would get it, not realizing that there was potentially a power dynamic to consider. He thought he was "doing the right thing" by being open, honest and direct.

In the video, D'Elia apologizes for treating sex and his many partners too casually, for letting himself get out of control, for cheating on his girlfriend, and for the many lies he has told his fiancee and friends—all with respect to his explanation that he allowed sex to take control of his life.

Here is where his explanation gets interesting. He notes that people have been talking about “power imbalance.” You can tell watching him that he is not comfortable with the concept. All he appears to see wrong is “using his notoriety to get sex” without having to do any “extra work” for sex (his words) since the girls had “familiarity” with him (again his words). He does not see that his notoriety is powerful and is creating the imbalance in his encounters with women. According to an article published by Berkeley in 2017, men who use their notoriety/power, have two shortcomings: First, they develop empathy deficiencies and are less able to read others’ emotions and take others’ perspectives, meaning they may overestimate the sexual interest of others and think the women are more attracted to them than is actually true. Second, they behave impulsively and are more likely to violate ethics standards and behave inappropriately.

In the video, D’Elia admits he used his notoriety for sex. That put him in a superior position of power. If a girl consented to go to his room, that did not mean she consented to have sex with him. She may have been more likely flattered by his attention and the opportunity to spend time with him. What if he invited her under false pretenses? Once she got to his room, did she express concern or reluctance with respect to having sex? Did she tell him she was not comfortable? Did she say “no” to sex? In many cases, women may be overwhelmed or caught off guard in the moment and may not be able to fend off advances that make them uncomfortable, especially if that person is in a position of power or in a position of notoriety. Many of his encounters may not have been consensual.

D’Elia is accused of soliciting nude photos from underaged girls online and exposing himself.

What will you do today to be #beupstanding and help #changetheculture for an environment without #sexualharassment, #abuse and #racism? #TimesUp. Let’s #playnice. For more info on this topic and other related issues, check out “Play Nice - Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace,” and join us at www.thesandboxseries.com .

MARINE’S HEARTBREAKING VIDEO GOES VIRAL‼️

Tue, 23 Feb 2021 01:11:14 GMT

MARINE’S HEARTBREAKING VIDEO GOES VIRAL‼️

After reporting an assault admitted to by a fellow marine to @USMC, and the violator’s termination from the Corps appears imminent, the female marine who was violated, tearfully expresses her frustration in a vide o over hearing the news that the Commanding General has overridden all recommendations and has decided to retain him.�� She exclaims “This is exactly why…females in the military…kill themselves, this is exactly why nobody…takes us seriously!” T he video went viral on social media.

Troubling but not surprising.

The military has been plagued for decades with inconsistent processes and procedures for reporting, handling, investigating, and concluding complaints with proper punishment and consequences. In this case, the marine claims that her perpetrator “was set to receive an honorable discharge, potentially allowing him to receive all of his military benefits” despite allegedly admitting to the sexual assault. Bad enough, right? Then she finds out that all of the pain and suffering she endured in connection with the assault, the reporting, and court process, is simply ignored—by a commanding superior who has allowed his personal relationship with the accused to affect the outcome.

A new proposed bill called the “I Am Vanessa Guillen Act,” contains an important feature which would force investigations to independent military prosecutors outside of the chain of command, for all sexual misconduct claims. The Pentagon has long resisted independent investigations despite the dire need for an overhaul. What will it take? It is time for Congress to force this change. The bill is named after Fort Hood, Texas soldier Spc. Vanessa Guillen who was allegedly murdered by a fellow soldier who then committed suicide.

The video was shared to the new incoming Defense Secretary Lloyd J. Austin III last week who has vowed to investigate.

What will you do today to be #beupstanding and help #changetheculture for an environment without #sexualharassment, #abuse and #racism? #TimesUp. Let’s #playnice.

For more info on this topic and other related issues, chec k out “Play Nice - Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace,” and join us at www.thesandboxseries.com .

ARE SEXUAL HARASSMENT ALLEGATIONS MORE BELIEVABLE IF MADE BY A PRETTY WOMAN?

Thu, 28 Jan 2021 22:28:03 GMT

ARE SEXUAL HARASSMENT ALLEGATIONS MORE BELIEVABLE IF MADE BY A PRETTY WOMAN?

A recent study could prevent non-stereotypical women from legal protections ‼️��

"Our research found that a claim was deemed less credible and sexual harassment was perceived to be less psychologically (or physically) harmful when it targeted a victim who was less attractive or did not act according to t he stereotype of a typical woman,” said Cheryl Kaiser, PhD, of the University of Washington and a co-author of the study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.

According to the researchers, general public perception is that younger, more feminine and attractive women, are more likely to be harassed and are more likely to suffer harm. As a result, women who do not fit this prototype may face credibility issues and higher scrutiny when reporting to employers, law enforcement, or in court—leading to lighter sentences and even avoidance of punishment of the perpetrator.

As we already know, sexual harassment can be devastating and harmful to the mental and physical health of the victim, causing a strain on the victim’s ability to concentrate and function at work, often risking financial stability. It simply does not matter if the victim has a less attractive body shape or is in her 70s versus 20s or is dressed in jeans and a sweat shirt instead of a skirt and high heels. Equally, race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, and gender identity do not matter. In fact, men suffer sexual harassment as well with the same devastating impact on their well being!

Don’t let false perceptions and stereotypes get in the way of taking sexual harassment claims seriously. You should process any such claims equally and with the same level of diligence.

What will you do today to be #beupstanding and help #changetheculture for an environment without #sexualharassment, #abuse and #racism? #TimesUp. Let’s #playnice. For more info on this topic and other related issues, check out “Play Nice - Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace,” and join us at www.thesandboxseries.com .

RECEIVING INAPPROPRIATE TEXT MESSAGES? HOW SHOULD YOU RESPOND?

Thu, 21 Jan 2021 14:29:04 GMT

Receiving inappropriate text messages? How should you respond?

Example for discussion? New York Mets GM Jared Porter - Now Fired‼️

Just one month after his hiring, the New York Mets have fired general manager Jared Porter after ESPN reported that he sent explicit unsolicited texts and images to a female baseball reporter in 2016. At the time, the reporter was working in the US for a foreign media outlet, and Porter, considered a rising star, was working for the Chicago Cub’s front office. According to reports, the text messages were casual at first and then became more aggressive when she tried to ignore his requests to meet. Worried about responding and unsure how to interpret his intentions (English not being her first language), the reporter attempted to ignore more than 60 text messages and pictures that followed, including a very offensive naked photo of his alleged private parts. With help from a friend, she composed a response that asked him to stop. “This is extremely inappropriate, very offensive, and getting out of line. Could you please stop sending offensive photos or msg?” He later apologized in a series of texts.

ESPN first learned about the text messages in 2017 and contacted the reporter who refused to go on record for fear of harming her journalism career.

Today, the reporter is no longer working in journalism. After learning that Porter had taken on a GM position and was now in a more significant position of power, she decided to share her story on the condition of anonymity to help prevent Porter’s behavior from happening to others. She asked that her identity not be revealed to protect her against retaliation in her home country, where sexual harassment is tolerated without repercussion.

As we note in ‘Play Nice - Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace,’ this behavior is unacceptable and constitutes sexual harassment, violating the law. As a target, don’t hesitate to ask for text messages to stop the moment you are offended. Be honest about how they make you feel. If the violator ignores your request, report him (or her) to the boss or file a formal complaint. All companies should have a zero-tolerance policy against sexual harassment.

If you find yourself attracted to someone, note how that person may be reacting to your communications, whether by email, text, or in person. If you sense that they are not comfortable, are hesitant in any way, or are not responding to you, STOP. Apologize if you made things awkward. Move on and leave that person alone. Sending lewd texts and photos is never acceptable and certainly not a shining example of how to start a relationship. As Porter found out the hard way, inappropriate behavior can ruin your career years or even decades later.

#humanresources #respectintheworkplace #changetheculture #MeToo #TimesUp #sexualharassment #respectforwomen #workplaceallies #heforshe

SEXUAL HARASSMENT IN THE RANKS OF THE GRAMMY'S ORGANIZATION

Sat, 16 Jan 2021 21:01:42 GMT

Sexual Harassment in the Ranks of the Grammy's Organization

While we were enjoying the Grammy Awar ds in 2019, turmoil continued in the executive ranks of the organizer , the Recording Academy. Just 6 months in office as the first female chief executive and president, Deborah Dugan, was placed on administrative leave a few days prior to the Grammies, for alleged misconduct against a senior female member of the organization. In an explosive complaint filed with the EEOC , Dugan responds that her placement on administrative leave was in retaliation for her internal complaints to superiors alleging gender discrimination, unequal pay, sexual harassment, and a “boys’ club mentality.” She alleges further that her predecessor’s contract (Neil Portnow) was not renewed due to allegations of rape by a female artist. This new turmoil piles on to current criticism of the Recording Academy for failing to recognize female artists and artists of color. Dugan was then fired.

One of her c omplaints involve the academy's outside counsel, Joel Katz.

Effective December 31, 2020, Joel Katz, power house lawyer and founder of Greenberg Traurig’s entertainment practice resigned the law firm by “mutual understanding” one year after he was accused of sexual harassment by Dugan . Katz has denied Dugan’s allegations that he repeatedly commented on her appearance, called her “baby,” invited her to travel on his private plane and attempted to kiss her during a dinner meeting in 2019 while acting as outside counsel for the academy. Dugan alleges she was placed on leave and later fired after she complained about Katz’s conduct and the academy’s “boys' club” mentality. Her EEOC Complaint continues to be investigated.

Katz is well known in the music industry for his impressive list of clients, including B.B. King, Willie Nelson, Jimmy Buffet, Sammy Hagar, Tim McGraw, George Strait, James Taylor, Justin Timberlake, and others, and was inducted in to the Music Hall of Fame in Georgia in 1995 and 2008.

What will you do today to be #beupstanding and help #changetheculture for an environment without #sexualharassment, #abuse and #racism? #TimesUp. Let’s #playnice. For more info on this topic and other related issues, check out “Play Nice - Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace,” and join us at www.thesandboxseries.com .

Should #MeToo Be Part of Your Corporate Mission?

Thu, 19 Nov 2020 22:23:40 GMT

Should #MeToo Be Part of Your Corporate Mission?

According to a 2019 article , CREW (Commercial Real Estate Women), a well respected organization dedicated to the advancement of women in the real estate industry, declined to address sexual harassment in the workplace at it’s annual convention in Chicago last year. ��

If the mission is to advance women in the industry , is it not important to focus on what tools women can use to deal with bad behavior in the workplace on the spot? ��

Knowing what to say or do the very moment of the harassment and how to handle and educate members of the boy’s club in response is crucial to developing male mentors and supporters for career advancement in a male domi nated industry. We can respond immediately with patience, grace and maybe even a little humor to quash and redirect behavior in a positive manner. �� Make it a gentle teaching moment and give that person an opportunity to apologize. If they do apologize, they have learned and may even correct others.

If we don’t help each other to learn how to deal with bad behavior immediately and instead, try to ignore or tolerate the behavior, our experiences will only serve to traumatize us �� and affect our mental health and success at work—and with that, we will not be able to #changetheculture to a more healthy and prosperous environment, free from #abuse and #workplacesexualharassment.

#TimesUp. ⏰ Let’s learn how to #playniceatwork together. ��

For more please check out our new book “Play Nice - Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace” and join us for further discussion at www.thesandboxseries.com .

Netflix's Limited Series: Unbelievable

Thu, 19 Nov 2020 22:05:42 GMT

Netflix's Limited Series: Unbelievable

Based on a true story, the limited se ries is a must see and at times difficult to watch—and yes, truly unbelievable .

This binge worthy show is about a young girl who is accused of filing a false police report about her rape and the female detective heroes who pursue the truth relentlessly, despite the challenges of a male dominated police force, the difficulties of filing and pursuing rape claims, and the prejudices surrounding the young girl's life situation.

Jen Chaney, describes it perfectly in her Vulture article . "Unbelievable never loses sight of the fact that the system makes women feel like they’re constantly operating underneath a low ceiling. �� It’s the rare crime show that demonstrates how a similar ceiling exists for victims of crimes as well as those attempting to solve them." The man eventually caught is charged with raping women ranging in ages from 18, 26, 46, 65……reinforcing the reality "that no woman is asking for it because anyone can become a rape victim."��

[The dynamic duo: Merritt Wever and Toni Collette in Unbelievable. Photo: Beth Dubber/Netflix]

VIOLATORS WITH A DISTINCTION FOR STUPIDITY

Thu, 19 Nov 2020 21:46:06 GMT

VIOLATORS WITH A DISTINCTION FOR STUPIDITY

Since the #MeToo movement launched in the fall of 2017, there have been countless stories of violators in almost every industry, including actors, producers, comedians, musicians, politicians, high finance principals, media anchors and personalities, sports franchise owners, and athletes, who have been outed for sexual harassment, and who as a consequence have been fired from their jobs. Y et, sexual harassment and inappropriate conduct continues and in many industries, is flourishing.

What is most surprising is that violators continue to ignore the potential consequences to their careers if the inappropriate conduct is f ound out , especially in a work or other public context where the risk of discovery is high.

Jeffrey Toobin —a senior staff writer of 27 years with the New Yorker and a CNN senior legal analyst, was caught pleasuring himself during a work Zoom call. It did not matter that he thought he had “muted his video” during the call and his co-workers were coming back to the call from a break. It did not matter that he thought he could not be seen. As one report noted, he may have been at home, but he was on a Zoom call—for work—and “it is never okay to masturbate during a work meeting.” Could Toobin not wait until he was on his own private time after working hours? Toobin has been fired from the magazine and has been placed on leave from his senior legal analyst job at CNN.

Cal Cunningham —Democratic North Carolina U.S. Senate candidate and Army Reserve Lt. Col. James Cal Cunningham failed to unseat Republican incumbent U.S. Sen. Thom Tillis, a seat the Democrats were fighting hard to pick up in a bid to take majority control of the Senate this election. His hard fought quest may have been derailed after the discovery of sexual text messages and an affair with public relations consultant Arlene Guzman Todd of California, whose husband is an Army veteran. Cunningham is married with two children. Now the Army Reserve is investigating Cunningham’s conduct and he may be subject to disciplinary action. The military prohibits adultery and other activities detrimental to the “good order and discipline in the armed forces.”

Cunningham gambled his family, reputation and potential senate seat for an extramarital affair —at a time when he was under intense scrutiny .

Since 2017 , the professional careers of more than 262 individuals within arts and entertainment, business, media, military, sports and other areas have been turned into shambles as a result of sexual misconduct allegations — some dating back more than 25 years.

What will it take for violators to take note and learn? Stupid, stupid, stupid. What more can we say?

What will you do today to be #beupstanding and help #changetheculture for an environment without #sexualharassment, #abuse and #racism? #TimesUp. Let’s #playnice. For more info on this topic and other related issues, check out "Play Nice - Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace,” and join us at www.thesandboxseries.com .

COVID-19 - INVESTIGATING SEXUAL HARASSMENT COMPLAINTS IN THE REMOTE ENVIRONMENT

Thu, 19 Nov 2020 21:02:07 GMT

COVID-19 - INVES TIGATING SEXUAL HARASSMENT COMPLAINTS IN THE REMOTE ENVIRONMENT

Since Covid-19, reports indicate that there has been an unanticipated increase in sexual harassment complaints of up to 20%, including in the remote work environment.

Examples of online harassment include, among others :

Inappropriate comments, jokes, pictures, or gifs in emails, message chats, or text messages;
Sexual or discriminatory innuendo or comments during videoconferences;
A male colleague displays inappropriate pictures in his background that make women on a work call uncomfortable;
Emails or texts requesting sexual favors; sexts or video chat exposures;
Request for calls late at night for something that could have been addressed during regular working hours;
Misogynist communications – speaking over someone; being talked down to in a demeaning, intimidating or disrespectful fashion; or bullying behavior;

One of the most recent examples involves Jeffrey Toobin, who was caught pleasuring himself during a work Zoom call. It did not matter that he thought he had “muted his video” during the call and his co-workers were coming back to the call from a break. It did not matter that he was not intending to be seen. As one report noted, he may have been at home, but he was on a Zoom call—for work and “it is never okay to masturbate during a work meeting.”

Toobin, a senior staff writer of 27 years with the New Yorker has been fired from the magazine and has been placed on leave from his senior legal analyst job at CNN.

The law requires employers to deal promptly with sexual harassment complaints whether they occur remotely or on sight at work and employers should consider taking the following actions:

Immediately adapt to the challenging times of Covid-19 and extend anti-harassment, discrimination, bullying, and inclusion policies to online platforms;
Assign one or more knowledgable and trained human resources personnel to handle complaints made in the remote work environment; hire a third party consultant if violator involves an executive or insufficient personnel to handle such complaints;
Training should continue regularly on a virtual basis—using real world examples with interactive discussions on what constitutes online harassment, how to report inappropriate conduct as a victim or bystander, and review the process of how complaints are handled and resolved. Employers should emphasize that every employee from the top down must follow the company’s zero tolerance policies or face consequences, including potential termination;
Monitor employee communications and videoconferencing regularly to check for inappropriate conduct;
Hold supervisors accountable for inappropriate conduct not addressed during meetings or reported;
Provide a safe environment for complaints to be filed and heard;
Respond promptly to any claims in person and commit to keep such complaints and any related evidence and communications confidential and secure;
Establish a consistent protocol for handling of complaints, including a time line for investigation, gathering proper evidence (such as chat platform screen shots, emails, text messages, social media posts, and recordings of inappropriate messaging and pictures), interviewing or collection of witness statements, and determination of appropriate remedial action, including termination of violator;
Keep your communications professional but caring and maintain detailed records and copious notes to help with your investigation and any litigation that may follow;
Present the complaint, results of your investigation, and recommended remedial action, to the appropriate committee or board of your company (with experience to hear such matters) for approval;
Communicate the outcome to the violator and the complainant separately, and follow through with the remedial action approved by the committee or board.

Although sexual harassment in the virtual world may present differently, it’s just as serious and harmful as any physical harassment and should be dealt with equal seriousness .

What will you do today to be #beupstanding and help #changetheculture for an environment without #sexualharassment, #abuse and #racism? #TimesUp. Let’s #playnice. For more info on this topic and other related issues, check out “Play Nice - Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace,” and join us at www.thesandboxseries.com .

COVID-19 AND THE EXPLOSION OF ONLINE SEXUAL HARASSMENT

Thu, 19 Nov 2020 20:56:26 GMT

COVID-19 AND THE EXPLOSION OF ONLINE SEXUAL HARASSMENT

For most, working from home is the new normal. If you have a family, the challenges of negotiating a quiet space and schedule for work, while balancing housework, cooking, and helping with online schooling for kids, can be quite overwhelming.

At least you don’t have to deal with sexual harassment from anyone in the office, right?

Wrong.

Unfortunately, social distancing does not prevent sexual harassment.

In fact, online harassment is common. A 2018 study by the nonprofit Stop Street Harassment reported that around 41% of women experienced sexually harassment via text, phone, and the internet.

Since Covid-19, reports indicate that there has been an unanticipated increase in complaints of up to 20%.

Examples of online harassment include, among others :

Inappropriate comments, jokes, pictures, or gifs in emails, message chats, or text messages;
Sexual or discriminatory innuendo or comments during videoconferences;
A male colleague displays inappropriate pictures in his background that make women on a work call uncomfortable;
Emails or texts requesting sexual favors; sexts or video chat exposures;
Request for calls late at night for something that could have been addressed during regular working hours;
Misogynist communications – speaking over someone; being talked down to in a demeaning, intimidating or disrespectful fashion; or bullying behavior;

Working from home can take on a more casual tone and a less strict dress code. This relaxation in formality can lead to decreased civility, professionalism, and sense of accountability on the part of the harasser.

Company messaging apps and access to personal phone numbers offer an opportunity for unsolicited and inappropriate communications the harasser might not make in person. He is more likely to hide behavior on certain platforms or small group messages which in many cases are not being monitored by the employer, making it easier to make inappropriate, discriminatory, or sexually charged comments or jokes. In many cases, there is a lack of in-person witnesses.

For the target, virtual harassment is often difficult to assess. Body language may not be as clear and the victim may second guess herself or make excuses for the behavior—maybe the harasser is just attempting to be empathetic or complimentary. It can be more difficult to draw the line on what is acceptable behavior and when body language on video calls or messaging is offensive or indecent.

In any case, if you are thinking about reporting the behavior, make sure you are documenting every communication and taking screenshots of any online messages and images you feel are not appropriate. Reach out to witnesses and ask if they might be available to support you if needed. Employer sexual harassment policies may not be clear that they apply while working at home and resources for monitoring online communications and filing complaints may be limited or non-existent—making it difficult for employees to ask for help. More importantly, in this volatile Covid-19 market, victims are less likely to complain for fear of losing their jobs. Many employees have been furloughed or terminated. If you complain, you may be labeled a troublemaker and risk your job security.

Employers should make every effort to adapt to the challenging times of Covid-19 and extend anti-harassment, discrimination, bullying, and inclusion policies to online platforms.

Training should continue regularly on a virtual basis—using real world examples with interactive discussions on what constitutes online harassment, how to report inappropriate conduct as a victim or bystander, and review the process of how complaints are handled and resolved. Employers should emphasize that every employee from the top down must follow the company’s zero tolerance policies or face consequences, including potential termination; provide multiple safe channels of reporting and monitor employee communications and videoconferencing regularly to check for inappropriate conduct; and hold supervisors accountable for inappropriate conduct.

Finally, if you witness virtual sexual harassment, bullying, or discrimination, don’t be a bystander. Reach out to the person being harassed. Find out if they are ok and need any help reporting the behavior. Offer to be a witness. If you are comfortable doing so, say something to the violator. A simple “Hey, that is not cool,” or “Violating #MeToo Bro,” can make a difference, especially if coming from a male colleague. Men will listen to men. Stepping up in a difficult situation is showcasing your leadership skills.

Although sexual harassment in the virtual world may present differently, it’s just as serious and harmful as any physical harassment and should be dealt with equal seriousness .

What will you do today to be #beupstanding and help #changetheculture for an environment without #sexualharassment, #abuse and #racism? #TimesUp. Let’s #playnice. For more info on this topic and other related issues, check out “Play Nice - Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace,” and join us at www.thesandboxseries.com .

Sexual Harassment in the Remote Workplace: How Training Can Respond

Wed, 28 Oct 2020 21:38:53 GMT

Check out the below article from Sarah Gallo and Training Industry from July 21, 2020, where Brigitte Kimichik, Author of Play Nice - Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace , is quoted:

Sexual Harassment in the Remote Workplace: How Training Can Respond

A lingering hand on your shoulder. A supervisor who tends to stand too close for comfort. A co-worker who continues to make lewd comments despite being told not to.

The tell-tale signs of sexual harassment have become all too clear to employees across industries. But the line between what’s appropriate and what’s not can easily become blurred when working remotely. After all, working from home “tends to “take on a more casual tone,” says Brigitte Gawenda Kimichik, JD, author of “ Play Nice: Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace” and a recently retired attorney. This “decrease in formality,” she says, can hinder workplace civility, professionalism and accountability, all of which contribute to a culture that tolerates harassment.

Let’s evaluate how training can help cultivate a virtual work environment free of harassment and full of respect.

What Is Digital Harassment?

Many people assume harassment only occurs in a shared workspace, says Edgar Ndjatou, executive director of Workplace Fairness, an employee rights nonprofit organization. “But you don’t have to be in the same place for sexual harassment to happen.”

In remote work, Kimichik says , sexual harassment could include any of the following:

- Inappropriate comments, jokes, pictures or even GIFs sent via email, chat massages or texts.

- Sexual or discriminatory comments made during video meetings.

- Commenting on a co-worker’s appearance during video meetings.

- Emails or text messages requesting sexual favors.

- Stalking on social media.

- Unsolicited and/or inappropriate communications through company messaging apps.

Any behavior that “creates a hostile or uncomfortable work environment” — whether virtually or in person — is harassment, says Carol Cochran, vice president of people and culture at FlexJobs. With many companies operating remotely due to the coronavirus pandemic, it is more important than ever for sexual harassment policies to explicitly prohibit harassment across “all forms of digital communication and media” to account for “all the ways people can interact with each other [virtually],” Ndjatou says. An easily accessible sexual harassment policy lays the foundation for an inclusive and respectful work environment — no matter where the work happens.

How Can Training Help?

Sexual harassment training is notorious for being unsuccessful, with many companies viewing it as a “check-the-box” training event necessary for compliance. Another reason it fails to drive change is because it is often outdated, Ndjatou says. Sexual harassment training must be “aligned with the times we’re living in” to resonate with today’s learners. Kimichik agrees , adding that the more training addresses modern, “real-world examples” of harassment, the more prepared learners will be to recognize — and step in — when it occurs in the remote workplace.

It is important for employees to know what digital harassment looks like. But to foster a truly inclusive and respectful virtual work environment, training should also address:

Civility

According to Indeed, a hostile work environment is “one where an employee’s job is made impossible because of the discriminatory words and actions of a supervisor, manager or coworker,” such as sexual harassment. On the other hand, civil work environments are marked by mutual respect. By training on and modeling civil behavior, leaders can not only help prevent sexual harassment from occurring in the first place but “create a [safer] space for people to speak up” if it does, Cochran says.

To build a culture of civility, learning leaders must provide “explicit training” that covers what civility looks like, describes situations in which employees may act uncivilly, provides tips on how to maintain composure and “affords opportunities to practice behaving civilly in emotionally charged situations,” writes Christine Porath, a professor at Georgetown University’s McDonough School of Business and author of “Mastering Civility: A Manifesto for the Workplace,” in a Harvard Business Review article.

Bystander Intervention

Bystander intervention training equips employees with the tools they need to stop digital harassment in its tracks. Kimichik says that training can help employees become “remote bystanders” by encouraging them to “actively denounce” any disrespectful behavior they encounter, whether by condemning inappropriate comments sent in a group chat or by reporting an email sent by a co-worker containing explicit images.

Reporting Processes

Sexual harassment policies should include “clear direction for reporting any incidents that an individual experiences, witnesses or is otherwise aware of,” Cochran says. Training professionals should clearly explain these reporting processes so that all employees know how to report sexual harassment and what to expect after doing so.

Learning leaders should also train managers on how to respond when an employee comes forward with a sexual harassment compliant. After all, deciding to report harassment is not easy. It is a calculated decision based on whether or not reporting coming forward is “worth it,” says Ndjatou. Leaders must respond with empathy, first and foremost, before moving forward with next steps.

In many ways, training can empower remote workers with the tools they need to identify, respond to and actively denounce harassment. It also gives them the courage to advocate for nothing less than what they deserve — respect, both on and offline.

GENDER EQUALITY - THE EFFECTS OF COVID-19

Wed, 28 Oct 2020 21:20:16 GMT

GENDER EQUALITY - THE EFFECTS OF COVID-19

The effects of Covid-19 on gender equality and working women in the US has been dramatic.

Effect of Job Losses

Studies indicate that women have been disproportionately affected by Covid-19, with 40% of all employed women working in the industries with the most job losses (compared to 36.6% of men), including food, hospitality, retail, and real estate.

According to data released by the Bureau of Labor Statistics , a stunning 865,000 women (age 20 and older) left the workforce this September, 2020 compared to 216,000 men. This data confirms a continuing disturbing trend that may set back gender equality at work for years to come.

Weight of Household Chores and Home Education

CBS 11 in the Morning reported on Sunday, Oct 4, 2020, that during the ' new normal ' of Covid-19, 80% of women do most of the housework and schooling at home. Not only are women working from home, but they are also performing their nanny’s and children’s teacher’s jobs. The stress of juggling has caused a dramatic increase in anxiety, depression, and sleep loss.

Ultimately, women are making difficult decisions. Quit their jobs to stay home with their children or, where allowed by the employer, move to a reduced work schedule with much less pay, risking their financial stability. Worse, women may lose their future financial security if they cannot return with full salary after Covid-19, including to resume their potential for retirement income and pension wealth.

Increase in Workforce Discrimination Against Women

More troubling is the increase in workforce discrimination against women . Many employers are not providing support and relief for women who have child care requirements. The 'new normal' requiring employees to work remotely has sparked indifference and hostility by senior employees and executives against working moms. Due to the fractured nature of where employees are working, companies are not actively monitoring compliance with policies that protect against bullying, discrimination, sexual harassment, and racism. Complaints from working moms about inappropriate comments made by superiors or colleagues are being dismissed or ignored. In many cases, the complaining employee is eventually terminated in retaliation “for business reasons” or “for failure to perform her job duties.”

More than ever, working moms are worried about sharing work-life challenges with their colleagues or having their work negatively judged because they have childcare responsibilities.

Working from home can be difficult, especially if you have young children and other distractions. If your spouse is an essential worker or has an equally demanding job, you may not have anyone to help keep your kids busy while on a Zoom or conference call. Interruptions are likely, and your colleagues, superiors, and clients should be understanding and patient. We are confident that mom is not purposefully promoting interruptions.

Examples of Objectionable Behavior by Senior Employees or Executives

You tell your employee that she may not participate in a call if her children are present.
You openly state that you are omitting your employee from important meetings and calls because “she is doing important mommy duties.”
You communicate to your employee that she is not eligible to work on a matter since “she w ill be busy with her family .”
You make derogatory comments about the fact that y our employee has children.
You make derogatory comments about your employee’s appearance because she is a mo ther and cares for children.
You decline your employee’s request for a better time for a telephone call, even though her proposed time would work for you or the group. (We have heard cases where the superior scheduled an essential call during the lunch hour, despite the employee noting that it was her children’s break from online schooling.)
If your employee asks you for help as the superior and you dismiss her concerns with “you will just have to deal with it to keep your job” or “if you can’t adjust, your career will suffer.”

Working mothers have traditionally battled systemic workplace biases, fostering hiring, pay, and work experience discrimination. We believe a male employee would not likely suffer this type of bias. Employers must make every effort to stem the tide created by Covid-19 against any progress we have made for workplace gender equality.

Importance of Supporting Working Mothers

These are challenging times, and as an employer, it is crucial to focus on all of your employees’ health, prosperity, and productivity, including mothers working from home. Otherwise, you risk losing talented women with growth potential or in leadership ranks vital to your company. As we have noted in our book Play Nice , gender diversity on teams and corporate management dramatically benefits a company’s success and profitability .

Employers who exhibit themselves as non-supportive of female employees or seen to be disrespectful during challenging times are less likely to attract and retain talented employees.

How Can Employers Help?

Conduct regular interactive reminder sessions with your employees and leadership that the company has and enforces zero-tolerance policies against bullying, harassment, and discrimination of any kind—review recent violations as examples for clarity and understanding.
Encourage complaints and take them seriously. Address any concerns immediately and effectively with appropriate punishment for violations.
Provide support to employees in balancing work and life , including in-home assistance or other options for childcare and schooling, flexible work schedules (with temporarily reduced hours during the pandemic), mental-health counseling if needed, and emergency loans and grants.
Talk through realistic work s c hedules to make sure parents can address getting kids ready for online learning, lunch, and dinner time. For example, avoid calls when kids are getting prepared for s chool hours or during lunchtime.
Revisit work deadlines and scope of necessary work to lighten responsibilities—schedule low-priority items for a later date .
Conduct regular check-ins with your employees and leadership. Attend teleconference calls regularly to monitor compliance with company policies.
Meet with employees to confirm they have the necessary tools to work more efficiently from home.

Finally, pay particular attention to employees who may be suffering from domestic violence by a partner. Living in close quarters, not being able to distance at work or socialize with friends and family, increased alcohol consumption, and financial difficulties can be very stressful—powerful triggers for abusers to release frustration and violence on their partners and children, harming the productivity of employees who are victims.

If You Are the Employee

As an employee, if you are worried about complaining to HR, don’t be afraid to raise your concerns first with a superior that understands your challenges. Have him or her help you communicate the discrimination if you are concerned about retaliation. Ask witnesses to help you corroborate any instances of discrimination. Take detailed notes of the dates and i nstances of objectionable behavior and any witness accounts. If you need help with tips on working from home, surf the internet for advice, and check out our blogs on the subject:

If You Are a Witness

Don't be a bystander if you witness bad behavior. Offer to be a n ally, or complain about the violator independently. In many cases, if you know the a buser personally, you can help resolve the behavior by raising your concerns with that person directly. Would the violator want his daughter or wife to be subject to such discrimination? We think not.

Is There a Silver Lining?

According to recent reports, where men have been working from home during Covid-19 with their working spouses, they have acquired a greater appreciatio n concerning gender equality , including:

the challenges of balancing paid work with unpaid work typically performed at a more significant percentage by women (household chores, childcare, and homeschooling);
the importance of relieving burdens of unpaid work at home to support their spouse’s career;
the ability to build better relationships with their spouse and children while spending more time at home;
the opportunity to connect on a more personal level and build trust with colleagues on teleconferences, sharing juggling experiences and providing emotional support;

David G. Smith and W. Brad Johnson produced an informative article in the Harvard Business Review on this subject. The Covid-19 experience has provided men in leadership positions an important opportunity to rework policies, practices, and systems in collaboration with their female colleagues to make serious progress on full gender equality in the workplace.

The good news is that both women and men may benefit long term from some of the changes wrought by Covid-19, such as more flexible schedules and the normalization of working from home— for those who can.

What will you do today to be #beupstanding and help #changetheculture for an environment without #sexualharassment, #abuse and #racism? #TimesUp. Let’s #playnice. For more info on this topic and other related issues, check out “Play Nice - Playgroun d Rules for Respect in the Workplace,” and join us at www.thesandboxseries.com .

PRACTICE LESSON - VIDEO CONFERENCE SEXUAL HARASSMENT - TAKE II

Tue, 27 Oct 2020 21:14:04 GMT

PRACTICE LESSON - VIDEO CONFERENCE SEXUAL HARASSMENT

TAKE II

Suggested Response:

In our book, Play Nice, we call this type of harasser a “predatory harasser”.

The predatory harasser is a boss or superior who holds the key to your promotion or increase in salary, creating a dilemma for the victim—resist and be punished, or submit and be exploited. His motive is a sexual contest and harassment is the tool he uses to exercise dominance and power to compel an unwilling sexual partner to submit.

Step 1: Respond to the violator as promptly as you can.

Step 2 : Be calm, firm, and confident in your response.

Step 3: Ask the violator to stop the personal messages. For example, "Hey Tyrant Ivan, I have received your messages and they are making me uncomfortable.”

Step 4: Give him a quick reason why you are objecting: “I am a subordinate colleague and asking me for my personal attention does not appear appropriate. I am sorry, but I think it is important to keep our relationship professional.” If you can, take a more light-hearted and gentle tone to avoid putting him on the defensive. You don’t want him thinking about how to get back at you. Hopefully he will appreciate your tone and courage and not take insult from your response.

Step 5: If he persists or in any fashion appears threatening, make sure you are documenting all of his communications. Take pictures of his messages. If you are comfortable doing so, find a more senior person to help you address the situation. The senior person might be able to talk to your colleague and resolve his behavior. If that does not work, file a complaint with Human Resources. If you do not have such a department, call or go see the boss. Ask a supportive senior person or colleague to participate for support.

Bystander Help: If you are a bystander to this type of behavior, let Jane know that you are available to assist her and be a witness if she needs support with a superior or HR for any complaint. If you feel comfortable, pull the violator aside and let him know that this type of behavior is not appropriate and could get him in to serious trouble. Encourage his apology. Men will listen to men!

Let's help #changetheculture to a more healthy and prosperous environment, free from #abuse. #TimesUp. Let’s #playnice at work and stop and #workplacesexualharassment. For more on this topic and for other exercise examples, pleas e checko ut our new book “Play Nice - Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace,” and join us at the www.thesandboxseries.com .

SILVER LINING OF COVID-19? WORKING MEN ARE APPRECIATING WORKING SPOUSES!

Tue, 27 Oct 2020 21:01:31 GMT

SILVER LINING OF COVID-19? WORKING MEN ARE APPRECIATING WORKING SPOUSES!

CBS 11 in the Morning reported on Sunday, Oct 4, 2020, that during the new normal of Covid-19, 80% of women do most of the housework and schooling at home. Not only are women working from home, but they are also performing their nanny’s and children’s teacher’s jobs. The stress of juggling has caused a dramatic increase in anxiety, depression, and sleep loss.

Is There a Silver Lining?

According to recent reports, where men have been working from home during Covid-19 with their working spouses, they have acquired a greater appreciation concerning gender equality , including:

the challenges of balancing paid work with unpaid work typically performed at a more significant percentage by women (household chores, childcare, and homeschooling);

the importance of relieving burdens of unpaid work at home to support their spouse’s career;

the ability to build better relationships with their spouse and children while spending more time at home; and

the opportunity to connect on a more personal level and build trust with colleagues on teleconferences, sharing juggling experiences and providing emotional support.

@davidgsmithphd and W. Brad Johnson produced an informative article in the Harvard Business Review on this subject. They have also just published their new book "Good Guys - How Men Can Be Better Allies For Women in the Workplace." Check it out!

The Covid-19 experience has provided men in leadership positions an important opportunity to rework company policies, procedures, training, and hiring in collaboration with their female colleagues to make serious progress on full gender equality in the workplace.

What will you do today to be #beupstanding #workplaceallies and help #changetheculture for an environment without #sexualharassment, #abuse and #racism? #TimesUp. Let’s #playnice. For more info on this topic and other related issues, check out “Play Nice - Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace,” and join us at www.thesandboxseries.com .

COVID-19 SPARKS INCREASE IN WORKFORCE DISCRIMINATION AGAINST WORKING WOMEN

Tue, 27 Oct 2020 20:57:27 GMT

COVID-19 AND INCREASE IN WORKFORCE DISCRIMINATION AGAINST WORKING WOMEN

During these difficult times of Covid-19, working from home can be challenging, especially if you have young children and other distractions. If your spouse is an essential worker or has an equally demanding job, you may not have anyone to help keep your kids busy while on a Zoom or conference call. Interruptions are likely, and you would expect your colleagues, superiors, and clients to be understanding and patient.

Unfortunately, reports suggest the contrary.

The requirement to work from home caused by Covid-19 has triggered a dramatic increase in workforce discrimination against working women. Many employers are not providing support and relief for women who have child care requirements at home. Due to the fractured nature of where employees are working, companies are not actively monitoring compliance with policies that protect against bullying, discrimination, sexual harassment, and racism, sparking indifference and hostility by senior employees and executives against working moms. Complaints about inappropriate comments made by superiors or colleagues are being dismissed or ignored. In many cases, the complaining employee is eventually terminated in retaliation “for business reasons” or “for failure to perform her job duties.”

Now more than ever, working moms are worried about sharing work-life challenges with their colleagues or having their work negatively judged because they have childcare responsibilities. Inappropriate comments are more frequent, such as "You will not be part of this new project since you are too busy with mommy duties," or your employee asks you for help as the superior and you dismiss her concerns with “you will just have to deal with it to keep your job” or “if you can’t adjust, your career will suffer.”

What will you do today to be #beupstanding and help #changetheculture for an environment without #sexualharassment, #abuse and #racism? #TimesUp. Let’s #playnice. For more info on this topic and other related issu es, check out “Play Nice - Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace,” and join us at www.thesandboxseries.com .

THE IMPORTANCE OF HELPING WORKING MOTHERS DURING COVID-19

Tue, 27 Oct 2020 20:53:34 GMT

THE IMPORTANCE OF HELPING WORKING MOTHERS DURING COVID-19

The “new normal” requiring employees to work remotely has sparked indifference and hostility by senior employees and executives against working moms. Interruptions on Zoom and conference calls by children are likely and inappropriate comments such as "You will not be part of this new project since you are too busy with mommy duties," or your employee asks you for help as the superior and you dismiss her concerns with “you will just have to deal with it to keep your job” or “if you can’t adjust, your career will suffer,” are now more common. If the employee complains, she is likely to suffer retaliation or in some cases termination "for business reasons" or "for failure to perform her job duties."

Employers who exhibit themselves as non-supportive of female employees or seen to be disrespectful during challenging times are less likely to attract and retain talented employees.

How Can Employers Help?

Conduct regular interactive reminder sessions with your employees and leadership that the company has and enforces zero-tolerance policies against bullying, harassment, and discrimination of any kind—review recent violations as examples for clarity and understanding.
Encourage complaints and take them seriously. Address any concerns immediately and effectively with appropriate punishment for violations.
Provide support to employees in balancing work and life , including in-home assistance or other options for childcare and schooling, flexible work schedules (with temporarily reduced hours during the pandemic), mental-health counseling if needed, and emergency loans and grants.
Talk through realistic work schedules to make sure parents can address getting kids ready for online learning, lunch, and dinner time. For example, avoid calls when kids are getting prepared for online learning or during lunchtime.
Revisit work deadlines and scope of necessary work to lighten responsibilities—schedule low-priority items for a later date.
Pay particular attention to employees who may be suffering from domestic violence. Living in close quarters, not being able to distance at work or socialize with friends and family, increased alcohol consumption, and financial difficulties can be very stressful. Powerful triggers for abusers to release frustration and violence on their partners and children, harming the productivity of employees who are victims.
Conduct regular check-ins with your employees and leadership. Attend teleconference calls regularly to monitor compliance with company policies.
Meet with employees to confirm they have the necessary tools to work more efficiently from home.

What will you do today to be #beupstanding and help #changetheculture for an environment without #sexualharassment, #abuse and #racism? #TimesUp. Let’s #playnice. For more info on this topic and other related issues, check out “Play Nice - Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace,” and join us at www.thesandboxseries.com .

THE DANGERS OF DATING APPS - TINDER

Tue, 27 Oct 2020 20:47:17 GMT

��THE DARK SIDE OF POPULAR DATING APP TINDER��

Tinder, one of the most popular and lucrative dating apps in the world, has changed an entire generations’ way of meeting a possible love interest for the night or the future, but is Tinder risky?

A joint investigation by Four Corners and triple j Hack in Australia, exposes the potential dangers of the dating app Tinder and the ways this app provides sexual predators a platform for unlimited access to potential victims. Check out this important article and embedded video (link to video below) from Four Corners. This is a must for the dating app generation. Please share‼️��

The joint investigation report in summary:

It is a challenge for victims to report sexual assaults to Tinder. If you can find a way by searching on-line, all you might get is an automated response with no serious follow up or feedback on whether or not the complaint was investigated by Tinder. Instead, you might find that the predator continues his presence on the dating app site. Four Corners further reports that after they interviewed several Tinder employees who wished to remain anonymous, the employees claimed that the company did not have sufficient staff or means to handle complaints. Yet, pursuant to the report, Tinder is the highest grossing non-gaming app in the world, with almost $2 Billion last year. It’s owner Match Group, has more than 2000 employees and owns many of the world’s popular dating apps, including 'Hinge,' 'Okc Cupid,' and 'Plenty of Fish.'

Tinder is free but encourages payment for alleged beneficial add-on features. During Covid, Four Corners reports that paid Tinder subscriptions increased 20% through June. If Tinder is highly profitable, how much is the company spending on consumer protections or safety features for its users and to help identify, locate and bring predators to justice?

What we found most alarming relates to Tinder’s “unmatch” feature. Originally, intended to help users block persons who make them uncomfortable, this feature is being used by predators to block victims and delete any trace of prior communications—which makes violators harder to find. Worse, completely banning bad actors from Tinder might prove difficult if they can simply change their IP addresses, re-subscribe under a different name, and continue their predatory behavior. Why has Tinder not been held accountable to make changes and to properly investigate complaints with transparency to help keep users more safe?

Sexual assault and rape are devastating to the mental and overall health of women and according to Four Corners, Tinder is making it much easier for perpetrators to walk free. Tinder and other dating apps continue to increase in popularity, especially during these trying times of Covid-19, creating a growing and fertile landscape for sexual predators. Companies should not be profiting from the potential dangers of sexual assault and rape their platform may be posing.

Match Group is currently under investigation by the US Federal Trade Commission for using fake love interest ads to trick users in to paying for subscriptions. Click here for more detail on this joint investigation, including the video report which aired recently—link to video below.

What will you do today to be #beupstanding and help #changetheculture for an environment without #sexualharassment, #abuse and #racism? #TimesUp. Let’s #playnice. For more info on related issues, check out “Play Nice - Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace,” and join us at www.thesandboxseries.com .

IMPORTANT UPSTANDER TIPS FOR THE BYSTANDER

Tue, 25 Aug 2020 23:30:10 GMT

UPSTANDER TIPS FOR THE BYSTANDER

Intervening in a safe and gentle manner can be a powerful show of support for the recipient of objectionable behavior. A simple comment from you might have impact, such as: “Hey, not cool! Be respectful" or "Stop! You are making her (or him) feel uncomfortable!" If you are at work (or on a video call), add: "You are violating company policy!”

Speaking up and taking a stand might underscore your leadership qualities. Staying silent might make you complicit.This is especially important if you are a man. Men will listen to men!

Here are some other Upstander tips:

If a colleague keeps making inappropriate comments, pull him aside and alert him to the potential consequences of his behavior;
If you are worried about addressing the behavior directly, ask his superior to talk to him;
If you encounter a group of frequent violators, make the time to educate them on the existence of applicable company policies and potential consequences for violations. If you are a superior, this is your obligation;
If you sense a target of the bad behavior (whether bullying, racism, discrimination, or sexual harassment) is uncomfortable, find a reason to extract her or him from the situation ("I have a report to show you," "Are you ready for the conference call?" "Do you have a minute for a question?");
If you discover that a colleague becomes visibly uncomfortable in the presence of another colleague, find a time to talk to her or him. She may be suffering from bullying, racism, discrimination, or sexual harassment from that person and may need help;
If you have been a witness to objectionable behavior, offer your assistance to help the victim. You may be able to talk to the violator, his superior, or accompany the victim to Human Resources for support;
If you determine that your witness account might be helpful to the victim, document the incident in detail and offer to be a witness if the victim elects to report;
If you are a senior employee, an executive, a human resources representative, or the boss, set the example of being an upstander and emphasize the importance and urgency of doing the same;
If you are a senior employee, an executive, a human resources representative, or the boss, encourage reporting to superiors and HR if necessary, especially if the behavior is offensive, persistent, or repetitive.

Take the time to hit that pause button and evaluate your work culture for toxic masculinity, sexual harassment, and racism. Educating employees and company leaders regularly and effectively regarding prevention is likely to engender a more healthy workplace of dignity and respect and ultimately improve the bottom line concerning health-related costs and profitability.

#TimesUp. Let’s #playnice. For more info on this topic and other related issues, check out “Play Nice - Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace,” and join us at www.thesandboxseries.com . W e wrote Play Nice to educate both women AND men—on the importance of drawing a firm line of respect and professionalism, and speaking up as a bystander.

ACTIONS YOUR COMPANY CAN TAKE IMMEDIATELY TO PROMOTE EQUALITY AND RACIAL JUSTICE IN THE WORKPLACE!

Mon, 24 Aug 2020 01:47:15 GMT

��What Your Company Can Do To Promote Racial Injustice And Equality In The Workplace - and Mean it! ��

If you have not already, NOW is the time to make some very important changes for your company's health and prosperity. Even if you think 'you are on top' of anti-racism, equality and diversity at your company, you may want to make the effort to poll your employees for any feedback on how your company policies may be missing the mark and take immediate and appropriate corrective action. If you do, you might get ahead of what could potentially harm your business and company's reputation.

Just a few weeks ago, Anthropologie, a popular clothing store, was slammed for being "whitewashed" from top to bottom. Allegations included racial profiling at their stores for who might be stealing, lack of diverse management, and unequal pay for Black employees. All fostering a racist and toxic work environment. Anthropologie's sister stores are now facing similar reports, including Urban Outfitters and Free People. These businesses are not alone. Other companies, including Nike and Adidas have been reported to have "a disconnect" between their company's outward posture on race and their internal experiences at the company.

Employee morale at many companies is suffering, especially among the younger generations. How can they work for a company that does not support racial justice, equality, and diversity? How do you expect them to perform at their very best if you are not supporting these causes?

Companies, especially large ones, must step up and set an example. What are the expectations? How can your company make an impact and bridge the gap of trust? What will your role be in making a difference? Everyone is engaged in achieving equality and racial justice. Your employees will be looking for you to take action. Immediately and for real. We know this cannot happen overnight; however, let's be clear. The goal of this movement is to continue until there is real change. Corporate America needs broad-based diversity training and improvements that will affect racial justice and equality. Now, the time is to do so, while the urgency is front and center and the cause has our heartfelt attention. If you are simply taking action as a marketing ploy to boost sales or attract young liberal employees, your actions will likely be found out and fail. As one strategist noted: "Your CEO can put out a beautifully written statement on why Black lives matter, but if the organization isn't actually backing that up with the way that it behaves on a daily basis, then it's kind of [BS]."

Here are some ways you can take swift action with impact:

1. Interview your Black employees first and then all remaining employees and find out what is happening at your company. Conduct a short term outside party review if necessary.

2. Create a diversity task force focused on building a strategy to foster a culture of diversity, inclusion, and belonging.

3. R evamp your existing anti-racism and anti-discrimination policies and publish them company-wide as zero-tolerance policies that will be enforced from the top down (with appropriate consequences [including firing] for violation).

4. Review and update hairstyle and grooming policies for racial bias.

5. Provide regular unconscious bias training for all executive and non-executive employees, including training on how to combat microaggressions. Shamika Dalton and Michele Villagran have authored a helpful checklist on resolving microaggressions in the workplace.

6. Provide regular bystander training on how to speak up and handle improper behavior—If you see something, say something!

7. Encourage your employees to report racist or other discriminatory behavior and allow for anonymous reporting options. According to a 2019 Deloitte survey of employees at large companies, 64% said they experienced bias at work in the previous year (83% subtle, versus 32% blatant or obvious). The experts argue that subtle behaviors can be at least as harmful and damaging for employee morale and retention.

8. Hold senior employees and executives accountable for any inappropriate behavior that occurs on their watch and is not properly reported.

9. W hat percentage of your employees is Black? Create a realistic but brief timeline for increasing your diversity percentage and populate your leadership teams with diversity. For example, Athleta has committed to "double the representation of Black and Latinx employees at all levels [at HQs] by 2025"..."and to increase representation of Black employees by 50% in ... store leader roles by 2025..."

10. Establish mentoring and sponsor programs for minorities in your company to teach employees how to be an effective ally. Award participation during the review season.

11. S olicit regular honest feedback concerning your inclusion and diversity programs and initiatives and make improvements accordingly.

12. Employ an external firm to assess the company's pay data by race for all employees to ensure pay equity.

13. If your company is in the business of selling products, are your black vendors underrepresented? Make a change to increase your percentage.

14. If you are a company that uses services or other providers regularly (Ex: you hire legal counsel, or you resource from vendors, or you are a capital provider), make any hiring, use or provision conditional on your providers or companies satisfying specific percentages of diversity on their boards, in their leadership, and for employees. For example, as of July 1, 2020, Goldman has committed that it will "no longer participate in any underwriting if there is not at least one "diverse" board member at the company seeking capital from Goldman....[B]y 2021...two "diverse" board members."

15. A dd more products that educate about anti-racism and promote positive social change.

16. Get involved locally. F und scholarship and mentorship programs in your community to help Black-owned and other minority businesses grow and prosper.

17. E stablish a new partnership with a nonprofit partner that promotes racial justice and aligns with your company's interests and preferences. Examples include: Equal Justice Initiative ; Son of a Saint ; Black Visions Collective Minneapolis ; NAACP Legal Defense and Educational Fund ; Embrace Race ; The Conscious Kid; The Movement for Black Lives; For example, Adidas has committed to invest $20 million in black communities in the U.S. over the next four years, including a basketball initiative program for underserved communities.

18. Consider making Juneteenth (June 19) a paid company holiday to mark the day enslaved people discovered they were free in the United States. Nike has recently made this announcement in an internal memo to its employees—following Twitter, Inc.

19. Issue a bi-annual diversity report for transparency that covers workforce, diversity in leadership, company policies and training, mentor and sponsorship programs, community involvement, and philanthropy.

20. If you are a company that serves the public with stores all over this country, show your support by allowing employees to wear a T-shirt or pin that expresses the company's support for racial justice, equality, and diversity. Include appropriate posters at storefronts and throughout the store.

21. Finally, publish a comprehensive formal statement on what you are doing to promote your mission for change. Check out these examples from Athleta , AFAR , and Uncommon Goods . ��

Don't be one of those companies that makes promises to reform and then does not follow through. This generation is taking note and demands accountability and transparency. Your customers, vendors, lenders, and employees will be doing the same. More importantly, your employees want to be proud to work for a company that holds themselves and their employees to a high standard that promotes racial justice, equality and diversity.

Make them proud and do it quickly.

Let's help #changetheculture to a more healthy, inclusive and diverse work environment, free from #racism, #bullying and #sexualharassment. #TimesUp. For more on this topic and others, please join us at the www.thesandboxseries.com and checkout our new book “Play Nice - Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace.”

MORE TROUBLE FOR MCDONALD'S FORMER CEO EASTBROOK

Mon, 10 Aug 2020 19:20:14 GMT

MORE TROUBLE FOR MCDONALD'S FORMER CEO EASTBROOK

More trouble for former McDonald’s CEO Easterbrook.

Back in November, 2019, Easterbrook lost his job for a consensual relationship with a subordinate, the company citing “It is not appropriate to show favoritism or make business decisions based on emotions or friendships rather than on the best interests of the Company.” Many companies, in light of #MeToo, prohibit such relationships. Pursuant to regulatory filings , Easterbrook was to receive approximately half of his base salary in severance pay (approximately $675,000) and potentially many more millions in compensation, including stock options.

McDonald’s is now suing Easterbrook for allegedly lying about three other sexual relationships with employees before his firing, claiming it would not have signed a separation agreement had it known about his inappropriate conduct . McDonald’s is seeking to recover all of Easterbrook’s severance benefits and to restrict his stock options and grants.

As we note in our recent post “Finding Love at Work - Good Idea?” relationships at work are risky and can put both parties in a difficult position, especially if the male is a superior. Colleagues may interpret any promotions, raises, and higher profile work assignments (regardless of whether they are well deserved), as “preferential treatment” and negative—a conflict of interest in violation of company policy, putting not only the subordinate's job, but also the superior's job on the line. Multiple sexual relationships are more risky. The line between consensual and predatory becomes blurred and risks an expensive sexual harassment suit.

We applaud McDonald’s for taking action and sending an important message to its senior executives. As we have seen from the news, such action is rare. Many companies continue to ignore the potential financial and reputation damage in favor of the ill perceived value of the alleged violator to the company. The victim not the violator ends up losing her job.

Avoid the pitfalls of a #MeToo scandal. Take the time to hit that pause button and evaluate your work culture for toxic masculinity, sexual harassment, and racism. Educating employees and company leaders regularly and effectively regarding prevention is likely to engender a more healthy workplace of dignity and respect and ultimately improve the bottom line concerning health-related costs and profitability. Try our book, "Play Nice - Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace," which we wrote to educate both women AND MEN— on the importance of drawing a firm line of respect and professionalism, and speaking up as a bystander. Intervention by men is especially important. Men will listen to men.

What will you do today to tackle sexual harassment and be #beupstanding to help #changetheculture for an environment without #sexualharassment and #abuse? Join us for further discussion on how to play nice at www.thesandboxseries.com .

SEXUAL HARASSMENT IN THE REMOTE WORKPLACE: HOW TRAINING CAN RESPOND

Thu, 06 Aug 2020 00:31:51 GMT

SEXUAL HARASSMENT IN THE REMOTE WORKPLACE: HOW TRAINING CAN RESPOND

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Harvey Weinstein Trial - Important Lessons Learned

Wed, 05 Aug 2020 21:54:05 GMT

From the Authors of Play Nice - Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace: Important Lessons learned from the Harvey Weinstein Trial

WHY WE WROTE PLAY NICE

Wed, 05 Aug 2020 21:38:43 GMT

Sexual Harassment - Why we wrote 'Play Nice'

We wrote 'Play Nice: Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace' to help women and men deal with sexual harassment in the workplace immediately when it occurs — as a victim or bystander — to stop the behavior in its tracks, and to help women draw a line of respect and professionalism when it comes to

bad behavior.

Play Nice uses real examples, provides tools on how to deal with violators, emphasizes the importance of bystander support (male and female), and offers peer opinions on how to deal with violators—educating employees and their leadership, men and women alike.

Share Play Nice with your employees, friends and family and then invite open discussion to continue the conversation to help #changetheculture and foster an environment free of #sexualharassment.

What will you do today to tackle sexual harassment and be #beupstanding to help #changetheculture for an environment without #sexualharassment? Join us for further discussion of how to play nice at www.thesandboxseries.com and check out our book Play Nice and our trailer below.

Book Trailer: PLAY NICE: Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace

Wed, 05 Aug 2020 21:32:27 GMT

Watch our book trailer for PLAY NICE: Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace and find out why this book is an important tool to help victims and bystanders in the workplace and socially combat sexual harassment on the spot!

AN INDUSTRY REVIEW OF PROFESSIONAL SPORTS

Tue, 21 Jul 2020 18:54:33 GMT

AN INDUSTRY REVIEW OF PROFESSIONAL SPORTS

With the #MeToo movement in full swing in 2017, the NFL Network, ESPN, and Bill Simmons' The Ringer, suspended five on-air commentators at the end of 2017. Former football players and current Hall of Famers Marshall Faulk, Heath Evans, and Ike Taylor: suspended for groping, sending inappropriate pictures, and making sexually explicit comments. Former NFL Network executive producer Eric Weinberger (the President of Bill Simmons media group): suspended for sending nude photos of himself, sending sexually explicit texts, and inappropriate touching. Former player, a now analyst, Donovan McNabb, was suspended for texts of a sexual nature.

The suspensions followed allegations of sexual harassment by a former coworker, Jami Cantor, in a lawsuit first filed in October 2017 claiming wrongful termination. According to Cantor’s pleadings, she complained about the sexual advances to Marc Watts, the league’s talent coordinator, who did nothing. Instead, he said, “It’s part of the job when you look the way you do.” Cantor claims she was terminated after making these complaints and raising other workplace concerns, alleging, among other things, age and sex discrimination, sexual harassment, a hostile work environment, and wrongful termination. The case was settled in August, 2018.

Former ESPN host and legal analyst Adrienne Lawrence filed a sexual harassment lawsuit 2018 in a Connecticut federal court claiming, “ESPN is, and always has been, a company rife with misogyny.” Lawrence alleges she was fired in retaliation for complaining to human resources about the harassment. As reported , she claims, “Male executives and employees at ESPN kept ‘scoreboards’ naming female colleagues they wanted to have sex with and openly watched pornography on their computers.” Lawrence published a book this May called "Staying in the Game: The Playbook for Beating Workplace Sexual Harassment"— an excellent resource for women.

In July, 2017, Fox Sports fired executive Jamie Horowitz after allegations of sexual misconduct; former major league catcher Gregg Zaun was fired from his job as an analyst in July 2017 after inappropriate behavior; former NFL quarterback Warren Moon was accused of harassment by an assistant at his sports marketing firm in a lawsuit filed December 2017 which settled in August, 2018; and Carolina Panthers owner Jerry Richardson announced plans to sell his franchise after news broke that he was accused of sexual harassment and racist slurs in the workplace. According to reports , the Carolina Panthers settled quickly with cash payments and non-disclosure agreements.

In April 2018, the New York Times published an article highlighting cheerleaders from various professional teams and their sexual harassment experiences. Reporting was not an option for fear of retribution and risking their spot on the squad. According to sources : “…groping and sexual harassment are part of the job, reporting that teams exploit cheerleaders by sending them to pregame tailgating and other gatherings where they are subjected to offensive sexual comments and unwanted touches by fans.” Another story reported a photoshoot in 2013 in Costa Rica, where some of the Washington Redskins cheerleaders were required to be topless, though the calendar photographs would not show nudity.

When cheerleaders started to file complaints , including against the Miami Dolphins, the New Orleans Saints, and the Houston Texans , NFL teams abruptly decided to eliminate their cheerleaders. As of 2020, six teams do not have cheerleading squads: Buffalo Bills, Chicago Bears, Cleveland Browns, Green Bay Packers, New York Giants, and the Pittsburgh Steelers. The NBA followed suit. By mid July, 2019, 30 teams decided to cancel their cheerleaders in favor of “‘family-friendly’ co-ed “hype teams” featuring tumbling and acrobatics, including the San Antonio Spurs and Dallas Mavericks . Maybe it was time to rid the teams of over-sexualized dancers and distracting eye candy during the games. The writing was more likely on the wall—there would be a flood of lawsuits and complaints filed for sexual harassment and unequal pay.

Fast forward to 2020. The allegations made by 15 former female employees against the Washington Redskins and spanning more than a decade from 2006 to 2019 sound very familiar: Unwelcome advances, inappropriate touching, sexually charged comments regarding the physical appearance of female colleagues, text messages of a sexual nature, requests that women wear tight and revealing clothes and flirt with clients to help close sales, verbal abuse, and threats not to complain or lose their coveted jobs desired “by thousands”. According to many of these women , policies, and procedures to protect against sexual harassment and a Human Resources Department to handle complaints effectively were nonexistent. Human resources staff consisted of one full-time employee responsible for the team’s more than 220 employees.

It is troubling that three years after the launch of #MeToo, nothing has changed for the Washington Redskins. We suspect the same is true today for many other organizations. As noted in our book 'Play Nice - Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace' , the consequences of a sexual harassment scandal can be quite devastating. When #MeToo launched, every company and organization should have immediately conducted internal or outside reviews of their sexual harassment policies and procedures, including interviewing employees for a culture check, to allow for needed corrective action. The owner of The Washington Redskins, Dan Snyder, and former long-running team president, Bruce Allen, were not personally implicated by these 15 women. However, they likely knew of the sexist behavior and verbal abuse that continued and was tolerated for more than a decade, fostering a sexist and toxic culture. Claiming as owner or president that you did not know about any problem is not sufficient to avoid the potential reputational and monetary consequences. The owner of the Dallas Mavericks found out the hard way. He claims he asked his then HR director (Buddy Pittman) if he was aware of any issues, however, merely asking the question, was not sufficient. As it turned out, Dallas Maverick’s corporate office suffered from a pervasive sexual harassment problem, not contained even after Pittman’s hiring to update its organization’s sexual harassment policies, which was before Cuban’s ownership. The fallout was painful for the Dallas Maverick’s organization. Thursday night, during Cuban's "Ask Me Anything with Mark Cuban" radio show on SiriusXM, Cuban had this message for Dan Snyder and the Redskins: "If you know Dan Snyder, if you’re involved with the Redskins, if you connect to them, tell Dan and tell his senior management you’ve got to just recognize what you did right and what you did wrong,” Cuban said. “You have to accept the mistakes you made. That’s painful. I made a lot of mistakes. And that’s the only way this is going to get resolved."

The Washington Redskins have responded to the allegations: “The…football team takes issues of employee conduct seriously….While we do not speak to specific employee situations publicly, when new allegations of conduct are brought forward that are contrary to these policies, we address them promptly,” the team said.

What action is the Redskin’s organization taking in response? Several employees have abruptly departed, including Alex Santos, the team’s director of pro personnel, and Larry Michael, the club’s longtime radio voice. The club has also contracted outside D.C. firm, Wilkinson Walsh, to conduct a thorough independent investigation and assist with new employee standards going forward. We ask, how about releasing the remaining accusers from their NDA's so they can come forward publicly without retribution?

According to an excerpt from our book Play Nice : “As the owner or head of a company, learn more about the process for determining whether there is a sexual harassment problem. When was the last time the company did an anonymous culture survey? What were the results? If issues were identified, how were they handled? Were policies and procedures updated to address noted issues going forward? Did the company identify offenders and take action? What if the company tightened its policies and procedures and provided incentives for reporting, compliance, and enforcement? What about real support and encouragement for victims, hiring more women in leadership positions to improve the male-dominated culture, and implementing better controls to establish equal status in worth and pay?”

What if anything is the NFL going to do? It is time for real action and guidelines for team owners to follow, including requiring all teams to have regular all staff training for sexual harassment prevention, unconscious bias, and anti-racism, effective mechanisms to report sexual harassment without retribution, and proper staff to handle and process complaints.

Bottom line: If a company’s work culture can be changed with swift and meaningful action, morale and employee performance are likely to improve and, eventually, positively impact the organization's health, prosperity and reputation.

Avoid the pitfalls of a #MeToo scandal. Take the time to hit that pause button and evaluate your work culture for toxic masculinity, sexual harassment, and racism. Educating employees and company leaders regularly and effectively will likely promote a more healthy workplace of dignity and respect and ultimately improve the bottom line. Try our book Play Nice to educate both women AND men on how to deal with sexual harassment immediately when it occurs. Play Nice reviews essential tools to encourage women to draw a line of respect and professionalism and help male and female bystanders stand up and say something. The intervention of men is especially important. Men will listen to men.

We should reward #upstanders and encourage companies to support #MeToo and handle sexual harassment violations with transparency, respect, responsibility, and accountability. We will then move the needle and #changetheculture to a more healthy and prosperous environment, free from #abuse and #workplacesexualharassment.

#TimesUp. Let’s #playnice at work and stop #workplacesexualharassment. For more info, please join us at the www.thesandboxseries.com .

The Impact of Sexual Trauma On the Health, Profitability and Reputation of Your Organization

Tue, 21 Jul 2020 18:48:05 GMT

The Impact of Sexual Trauma On the Health, Profitability and Reputation of Your Organization

Sexual harassment can have a devastating impact on your organization's health, profitability and reputation. Is your company paying attention to all of the #MeToo scandals? This week, you will be reading about the 15 women who have outed The Washington Redskins for a decade of abuse.

It is striking that the toxic culture continued years after #MeToo exploded. Why did the organization decide it was not essential to hit a pause button and conduct a review of its work environment? Other scandals should have been motivating, including those involving the Dallas Mavericks , the NFL Network, or the Carolina Panthers. Many resulted in fi rings of corporate executives and high costs of litigation. What about the mental and physical toll on employees or the injury to the organization's reputation?

The mental and physical impact of sexual harassment on victims can result in reduced productivity, an increase in health issues (including depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder), more absences, sick leave, and health insurance costs, and ultimately turn-over of employees. One of the few available studies on the topic is dated as far back as 1988 and involved personnel, HR directors, and equal-opportunity offices representing over 3.3 million employees and 160 companies. The study concluded that “a typical Fortune 500 company with 23,750 employees lost $6.7 million a year because of absenteeism, low productivity, and staff turnover.”

However, these effects do not even consider the economic, career, and long-term mental-health consequences victims experience once they leave their job, either due to intolerable sexual harassment or due to how the company mishandled a harassment claim. For victims in other industries, consequences can be direr. For example, experiences of sexual trauma that occur during military service associate with risk factors for depression, substance use disorders, and suicide. Military Sexual Trauma – A Risk Factor for Suicide research indicates that women veterans have higher rates of depression than non-veteran women and a shocking 250% higher suicide rate than civilian women.

Don't take #MeToo scandals involving companies and organizations for granted. Take the time to hit that pause button and evaluate your work culture for toxic masculinity, sexual harassment, and racism. Educating employees and company leaders regularly and effectively regarding prevention is likely to engender a more healthy workplace of dignity and respect and ultimately improve the bottom line concerning health-related costs and profitability. Try our book, " Play Nice - Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace, " which we wrote to educate both women AND men— on the importance of drawing a firm line of respect and professionalism, and speaking up as a bystander. Intervention by men is especially important. Men will listen to men.

For bad behavior to change, there must be consequences, and they should be wildly known and enforced. Committing to transparency will help #changetheculture to a more healthy and prosperous environment, free from #abuse, #workplacesexualharassment, and #racism.

#TimesUp. Let's #playniceatwork. For more info on our new book "Play Nice," please join us at the www.thesandboxseries.com .

IS YOUR COMPANY CONDUCTING SEXUAL HARASSMENT TRAINING?

Mon, 20 Jul 2020 19:13:03 GMT

Is Your Company Conducting Sexual Harassment Training?

One executive told us recently his company would not have a sexual harassment policy if not required by law. In his view, his company did not need them. “No one has filed a complaint and the company had to pay a lot of money for an HR person. Waste of money!”

If you agree with him, you have only underscored the importance of training, not only for yourself as an executive but for all employees—from the very top-down. Want a recent example? This week, you will be reading about the 15 women who have outed The Washington Redskins for a decade of abuse. According to many of these women , policies, and procedures to protect against sexual harassment and a Human Resources Department to handle complaints were nonexistent. Human resources staff consisted of one full-time employee responsible for the team’s more than 220 employees.

Sexual harassment can have a devastating effect on the health, profitability, and reputation of a company. The mental and physical impact of sexual harassment on employees can result in reduced productivity and an increase in health issues (including depression, anxiety, and post traumatic stress disorder), more absences, sick leave, and health insurance costs, and ultimately turn-over of employees. The departure of employees risks fostering a hostile work environment and reputation issues in the open market, which might affect the recruiting of new employees and executives, customer relations, future business, financing, and investor potential. One single lawsuit or scandal can drain a company’s resources. We read that CBS’s stock dropped 6% during the Les Moonves scandal - an alleged $1.4 Billion in value. Fox News supposedly spent more than $101 Million in 9 months on sexual harassment matters, including relating to Roger Isles and Bill O’Reilly. When sponsors started dropping the Bill O’Reilly Show, the network released him.

Avoid the pitfalls of a #MeToo scandal. Educating employees and company leaders regularly and effectively will likely promote a more healthy workplace of dignity and respect and ultimately improve the financial bottom line. For such bad behavior to change, there must be consequences, and they should be wildly known. Committing to transparency will help #changetheculture to a more healthy and prosperous environment, free from #abuse.

We wrote 'Play Nice: Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace ' to help women AND men deal with sexual harassment immediately when it occurs. Play Nice reviews essential tools to encourage women to draw a line of respect and professionalism, and to help bystanders stand up and say something. The intervention of men is especially important. Men will listen to men.

OUTED FOR A DECADE OF SEXUAL HARASSMENT AND ABUSE

Sat, 18 Jul 2020 22:52:00 GMT

��The Washington Redskins: Outed for a Decade of Sexual Harassment and Abuse

The allegations made by 15 former female employees and spanning more than a decade from 2006 to 2019 sound very familiar: Unwelcome advances, inappropriate touching, sexually charged comments regarding the physical appearance of female colleagues, text messages with content of a sexual nature, requests that women wear tight and revealing clothes and flirt with clients to help close sales, verbal abuse, and threats not to complain or lose their coveted jobs desired “by thousands”. According to many of these women, policies, and procedures to protect against sexual harassment and a Human Resources Department to handle complaints effectively were nonexistent. Human resources staff consisted of one full-time employee responsible for the team’s more than 220 employees.

Emily Applegate, now 31, came forward publicly , claiming her time with the club as marketing coordinator “was the most miserable experience of [her] life.” Nondisclosure agreements prevent many others from speaking publicly for fear of legal retribution if they talk negatively about the club.

One woman who left in 2019 reported , “It was my first job, so I kind of normalized it…..And it was happening to every single one of my female co-workers under the age of 40.”

Women who work in male-dominated environments can feel pressured ‘to play along’ and ‘roll with the punches.’ They think they have no choice but to accept such behavior to avoid being labeled a trouble maker and keep their jobs. In our book ‘Play Nice - Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace,’ we address this topic in great detail with real-world examples and basic communication tools—to help women combat this type of behavior as a victim, and to help men and women when they are bystanders. Male intervention is especially helpful since men will listen to men.

It is troubling that three years after the launch of #MeToo, nothing has changed for the Washington Redskins. We suspect the same is true for many other organizations. As we note in Play Nice , the consequences of a sexual harassment scandal can be quite devastating. When #MeToo launched, every company and organization should have immediately conducted internal or outside reviews of their sexual harassment policies and procedures, including interviewing employees for a culture check, to allow for needed corrective action. The owner, Dan Snyder, and former long-running team president, Bruce Allen, were not personally implicated by these 15 women. However, they likely knew of the sexist behavior and verbal abuse that continued and was tolerated for more than a decade, fostering a sexist and toxic culture. Claiming as owner or president that you did not know about any problem is not sufficient to avoid the potential reputational and monetary consequences. The owner of the Dallas Mavericks found out the hard way. Mark Cuban claims he asked his then HR director (Buddy Pittman) if he was aware of any issues, however, merely asking the question, was not sufficient. As it turned out, Dallas Maverick’s corporate office suffered from a pervasive sexual harassment problem, not contained even after Pittman’s hiring to update the organization’s sexual harassment policies, which was before Cuban’s ownership. The fallout was painful for the Dallas Maverick’s organization. Thursday night, during Cuban's "Ask Me Anything with Mark Cuban" radio show on SiriusXM, Cuban had this message for Dan Snyder and the Redskins: "If you know Dan Snyder, if you’re involved with the Redskins, if you connect to them, tell Dan and tell his senior management you’ve got to just recognize what you did right and what you did wrong,” Cuban said. “You have to accept the mistakes you made. That’s painful. I made a lot of mistakes. And that’s the only way this is going to get resolved."

The Washington Redskins have responded to the allegations: “The…football team takes issues of employee conduct seriously….While we do not speak to specific employee situations publicly, when new allegations of conduct are brought forward that are contrary to these policies, we address them promptly,” the team said.

Pursuant to an excerpt from our book Play Nice : “As the owner or head of a company, learn more about the process for determining whether there is a sexual harassment problem. When was the last time the company did an anonymous culture survey? What were the results? If issues were identified, how were they handled? Were policies and procedures updated to address noted issues going forward? Did the company identify offenders and take action? What if the company tightened its policies and procedures and provided incentives for reporting, compliance, and enforcement? What about real support and encouragement for victims, hiring more women in leadership positions to improve the male-dominated culture, and implementing better controls to establish equal status in worth and pay?”

We should reward #upstanders and encourage companies to support #MeToo and to handle sexual harassment violations with transparency, respect, responsibility and accountability. Only then will we move the needle and #changetheculture to a more healthy and prosperous environment, free from #abuse and #workplacesexualharassment.

#TimesUp. Let’s #playnice. For more info on this topic and other related issues, check out “Play Nice - Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace,” and join us at www.thesandboxseries.com .

HOW TO BE AN ALLY AT WORK—FOSTERING RACIAL JUSTICE AND EQUALITY

Thu, 16 Jul 2020 01:47:12 GMT

How To Be an Ally At Work—Fostering Racial Justice and Equality

Have you thought about what you can do at work to help promote social justice and equality? Whether or not you are in a leadership position, use your credibility at work to support those underrepresented and create a more inclusive workplace!

Here are some ideas you can implement immediately, even if you are still working from home:

Educate Yourself and Your Family Regarding Anti-Racism

Learn about the history of racism in this country and what you can do personally to make a difference. Check out this link for resources for adults and resources for children .

Learn Company Policies and Consequences to Enforcement of Code of Conduct

Ask your company to provide employee training on anti-racism policies and how to identify and deal with violations and microaggressions in the work environment. Training should include how to identify such conduct (and if you may be contributing through unconscious bias), how to intervene and defend against such behavior, how to report such violation in person or anonymously, and company communication of zero tolerance and consequences, including termination from the job if appropriate.

Be an Upstander

If you witness racist conduct or other discrimination, say something. Don't assume someone else will deal with the violator. Ask that person to stop any such comments and remind him or her that they face potential consequences for violating company policies that prohibit such behavior. Pull that person aside if you think he or she will respond better and encourage an apology. Standing up for your colleague in public exhibits leadership skills. If your violated colleague decides to report the conduct, offer your assistance as a witness. Here is an example posted on our website.

Listen and Learn

Join your company's diversity task force or create your own. Get to know your colleagues of color and other diversity. Listen to their experiences and suggestions for a healthier work environment and collaborate. Then become their champion and sponsor.

Encourage Collaboration and Diversity

Populate teams and working groups with people of color and other diversity. There is plenty of commanding research that suggests diversity in opinion and collaboration is more beneficial for company's health and prosperity. "By breaking up workplace homogeneity, you can allow your employees to become more aware of their own potential biases—entrenched ways of thinking that can otherwise blind them to key information and even lead them to make errors in decision-making processes," as noted by Heidi Grant and David Rock of the Harvard Business Review.

Promote Expertise

Make an effort to promote the expertise of diverse colleagues to those looking for help on work projects or customer inquiries. We all know how uncomfortable it can be to promote your own unique skills.

Recommend for Assignments

Introduce your diverse colleagues to other departments and recommend them for work projects and assignments. All employees should have equal exposure to training and opportunities.

Give Credit for Contributions and Accomplishments

Upon completing assignments and other company projects, acknowledge the contributions and accomplishments of your diverse colleagues publicly in front of the group and to management. Your diverse colleagues may not be well known, and they must be acknowledged as beneficial contributors to the company.

Advocate for Leadership Roles

Companies are being evaluated and measured on whether they promote diversity in the workforce and leadership roles. How many minority employees are Black and how many are in leadership roles. Does the company live by its creed to promote racial justice, equality, and diversity? Hire and train diverse employees to populate leadership roles for a more well-rounded and culturally diverse company. As we have noted, research suggests, diversity is healthy for your bottom line. A 2015 McKinsey report on 366 public companies found that companies in the top quartile for racial and ethnic diversity in management were 35% more likely to have financial returns above their industry mean.

Get involved and help change the culture of your company for a healthier and more prosperous work environment. You can make a difference and improve your leadership skills at the same time!

ANTI-RACISM RESOURCES FOR ADULTS

Thu, 16 Jul 2020 01:47:07 GMT

Anti-Racism Resources for Adults

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ANTI-RACISM RESOURCES FOR KIDS

Thu, 16 Jul 2020 01:47:02 GMT

ANTI-RACISM RESOURCES FOR KIDS

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PRACTICE LESSON - VIDEO CONFERENCE - RACISM

Thu, 16 Jul 2020 01:34:22 GMT

PRACTICE LESSON - VIDEO CONFERENCE - RACISM

Suggested Response:

Taking immediate action as a bystander can be uncomfortable, especially on a Zoom or telephone conference call. It is even more complicated if the violator is a superior. However, for the working group's health going forward, it is important to resolve the behavior when it occurs. If you are a bystander, try the following:

Step 1: Get the violator's attention. Call him by name until he pauses and ask him to let you speak.

Step 2: Speak with a stern but gentle voice. Aggressive language may put the violator on the defensive, and he will be thinking about how to respond rather than listening to you. Be calm, firm, and confident.

Step 3: Alert t he violator to his inappropriate statement and remind him that such comments violate company policy. For example, "Insecure Trip, you just made a racially insensitive comment when you told the group that Jackie was included in our group to satisfy company diversity requirements. Not funny. You know such comments violate company policy. Obviously, she has been included for her special expertise, and her contributions will be very valuable." If you can use a more light-hearted and gentle voice, he might appreciate your tone and courage and not insult from your admonition.

Step 4: Hopefully, Insecure Trip will immediately apologize to Jackie. If he does not, address Jackie and apologize to her and the group on Insecure Trip's behalf. If he does not ask for her participation on the call or ignores her, make an effort to ask for Jackie's input, or encourage her contribution. The group and the violator may then realize that she will indeed be a valuable member.

Step 5: If the violator refuses to stop despite your warning, call him separately to let him know your objection. If you are not comfortable doing so, find a more senior person to talk to him about his behavior. If that does not help and you have a Human Resources Department, file a complaint. If you do not have such a department, call the boss. Have a more senior person join you for support.

�� Intervention exhibits your leadership skills and can be especially impactful coming from a male colleague. Men will listen to men.

Let's help #changetheculture to a more healthy and prosperous environment, free from #abuse. #TimesUp. Let’s #playnice at work and stop and #workplacesexualharassment. For more on this topic and for other exercise examples, please check out our new book “Play Nice - Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace,” and join us at the www.thesandboxseries.com .

PRACTICE LESSON - VIDEO CONFERENCE - BULLYING

Wed, 15 Jul 2020 23:06:09 GMT

PRACTICE LESSON - VIDEO CONFERENCE - BULLYING

Suggested Response:

In our book Play Nice, we call this type of harasser a territorial harasser .

The territorial harasser is insecure and deliberately uses sexual harassment to protect his territory. For example, if a woman is perceived as a threat, he will take action to undermine her performance and eliminate her as a competitor. It is his way to fight dirty when a woman is more effective.

Step 1: Get the violator’s attention. Call him by name until he pauses and ask him to let you speak. Keep interrupting him until he acknowledges you.

Step 2: Speak with a firm but calm voice. Aggressive language may put the violator on the defensive, and he will be thinking about how to respond rather than listening to you. Be calm, firm, and confident.

Step 3: Ask the violator to stop his behavior. For example, “Insecure Trip, please stop interrupting me. I would like to finish my thought for the group.”

Step 4: Give him a quick reason for your objection to the behavior. “You are not letting me finish and your interruptions are not respectful. You are welcome to offer any comments once I have advised that I have finished making my point.” Then continue to make your point. If you can take a more light-hearted and gentle tone, he will hopefully appreciate your tone and courage and not take insult from your response.

Step 5: Don’t hesitate to remind him if he continues his interruptions. On Zoom calls, it is often difficult to be heard if someone else is speaking. Keep white paper handy. Use a black marker to remind him "YOU ARE INTERRUPTING AGAIN!" or "MAY I FINISH PLEASE!" and hold it up to the group. If the violator continues the interruptions and refuses to stop despite your reminders, call him separately to let him know your objection. If you are the leader of the call, Zoom may let you mute that person. You can also ask the leader by text to mute that person until you have his attention. If you are not comfortable doing so, find a more senior person to talk to him about his behavior. If that does not help and you have a Human Resources Department, file a complaint. If you do not have such a department, call the boss. Have a more senior person join you for support.

��Note to Bystanders: If you are in the meeting and witness this type of behavior, get the violators attention, and say: “Insecure Trip, you are bullying her and not being respectful. Please let her finish before you contribute your suggestions.” Don't hesitate to remind him if he continues his interruptions. Intervention exhibits your leadership skills and can be especially impactful coming from a male colleague. Men will listen to men.

Let's help #changetheculture to a more healthy and prosperous environment, free from #abuse and #bullying. #TimesUp. Let’s #playnice at work and stop and #workplacesexualharassment. For more on this topic and for other exercise examples, please check out our new book “Play Nice - Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace,” and join us at the www.thesandboxseries.com .

DEUTSCHE BANK FINED $150 MILLION FOR JEFFREY EPSTEIN RELATIONSHIP

Tue, 14 Jul 2020 22:17:49 GMT

DEUTSCHE BANK FINED $150 MILLION FOR JEFFREY EPSTEIN RELATIONSHIP

Deutsche Bank has been fined $150 million by New York’s financial-services regulators, marking the first time that a bank has been penalized for its association with Jeffrey Epstein. Epstein’s relationship with DB started in 2013 after he was dropped by JPMorgan Chase over reputational concerns.

Regulators found that DB failed to monitor Epstein’s accounts by processing hundreds of suspicious transactions involving millions of dollars that should have raised red flags in light of his conviction as a sex offender in 2008 when he pleaded guilty in a Florida state court to soliciting prostitution from an underage girl. Apparently, the fine was also issued in part for DB’s relationship with two European banks (Danske Bank Estonia and FBME Bank) involved in money-laundering scandals.

Regarding Epstein, according to the Wall Street Journal , regulators said: “Among other transactions that should have raised questions….were payments to Russian models, school tuition fees for women and hotel and rent expenses that were consistent with public allegations of wrongdoing.” Law.com reported , these payments included excessive cash withdrawals, more than $7 million in settlement payments, and more than $6 million in payments to alleged co-conspirators and law firms.

Although Epstein was properly classified by the bank as high-risk, regulators said that DB “ failed to scrutinize the activity in the accounts for the kinds of activity that were obviously implicated by Mr. Epstein’s past. ”

It will be interesting to see the continuing fallout from Epstein's alleged underaged sexual trafficking scheme which continued for years and may have involved several high profile individuals and politicians. Who will be found to have been complicit? Who will be outed as a participant and violator? All eyes are now on Epstein's rumored 'Madam,' Ghislaine Maxwell, who has been arrested and is being held in New York's Federal Metropolitan Detention Center in Brooklyn. She is awaiting arraignment on 4 federal charges relating to sex trafficking and sexual abuse of minors, and 2 federal charges for perjury for lying under oath to federal prosecutors.

Deutsche Bank has since issued a statement: “We acknowledge our error of on boarding Epstein in 2013 and the weaknesses in our processes, and have learned from our mistakes and shortcomings. Our reputation is our most valuable asset and we deeply regret our association with Epstein.”

Let's see what internal corrections DB will make regarding how Epstein's accounts were handled. Did Epstein's banker liaisons have knowledge regarding the illicit nature of his bank transactions? Does that make them complicit?

Stay tuned.

IS SHE A FLIGHT RISK?

Tue, 14 Jul 2020 22:17:42 GMT

Alleged Madame Ghislaine Maxwell - Is She a Flight Risk?

Ghislaine Maxwell (58), the former girlfriend and alleged “Madam” of Jeffrey Epstein was arraigned yesterday during a virtual hearing on 4 federal charges relating to sex trafficking and sexual abuse of minors, and 2 federal charges for perjury for lying under oath to federal prosecutors. Maxwell has pleaded not guilty of all charges.

After her arrest last week Thursday at her 156 acre property located in Bedford, New Hampshire, Maxwell was finally settled at the Federal Metropolitan Detention Center in Brooklyn, NY, until her hearing today would determine if the court would grant bail for her release. Her $5 million bail bond package was denied.

According to reports, her lawyers claim that Maxwell has been wrongly targeted, that she is innocent of the charges, did not have any contact with Epstein prior to his death for more than a decade, and that she had no intent of fleeing the country. She claims to have a close relationship with her two sisters who live in the U.S. and purchased a property for her residence in New Hampshire last year. If she had wanted to flee, she could have gone to France which does not extradite its own citizens. Maxwell is also a French citizen. She claims to have secluded herself to get away from the press given her notoriety and prior relationship with Jeffrey Epstein. For all of those reasons and given the great risk of exposure to the Corona virus, she pleaded for release on bail.

The judge however, did not agree. The prosecutors argued that her 3 passports, $20 million in liquid wealth held in 15 different accounts, her vast international connections, and the fact that she was hiding, made her an extreme flight risk. At today's hearing, federal prosecutors maintained when Maxwell was arrested, agents had to break down the door and found her hiding in a room in the interior of a home that she purchased under a different name. Maxwell sought to evade FBI detection by using former British military as her personal security and wrapping her cellphone in tin foil. The FBI alleged further that Maxwell secluded herself in her remote home and had her security team shop for her. According to the FBI, all indications that she did not want to be found.

Some argue her passports could be seized, her liquid wealth frozen, and she could wear an ankle bracelet to prevent her from leaving the country. The charges against her relate to a time period from 1994 to 1997, more than 25 years ago. Would she have received bail had she not been associated with Jeffrey Epstein? Is Maxwell's possible knowledge of other participant violators and/or co-conspirators in Epstein's sex trafficking influencing the ruling on bail?

Trial is not set until July of 2021. One year from now. Maxwell will be sitting in jail at risk for Covid19 and if the conspiracies challenging Epstein's death as suicide are true, her life may be in danger.

ALLEGED MADAM OF JEFFREY EPSTEIN, GHISLAINE MAXWELL, IS ARRESTED

Tue, 14 Jul 2020 20:52:57 GMT

ALLEGED MADAM OF JEFFREY EPSTEIN, GHISLAINE MAXWELL, ARRESTED

Ghislaine Maxwell (58), the former girlfriend and alleged “Madam” of Jeffrey Epstein was arrested in a shock and awe raid last week Thursday around 8:30am by more than 20 armed FBI agents and police at Maxwell’s 156 acre property located in Bedford, New Hampshire. Maxwell hid her ownership identity by acquiring the estate through an LLC entity for more than $1 million dollars.

Maxwell is now in NY at the Federal Metropolitan Detention Center in Brooklyn until at least July 14 when she will be arraigned on 4 federal charges relating to sex trafficking and sexual abuse of minors, and 2 federal charges for perjury for lying under oath to federal prosecutors. Her lawyers will have a chance to draft a bail order for her release. According to reports , she is being watched closely by guards 24/7 under highest security and is not permitted to be alone at any time. To minimize her ability to commit suicide, she has been given paper clothes, paper bedsheets and she has a cellmate. The authorities are determined to keep Maxwell alive given that Jeffrey Epstein allegedly took his own life in prison not too far from where Maxwell is being held. According to U.S. Attorney General William Barr, Epstein's suicide resulted from "a perfect storm of screw-ups" , including failed suicide attempt, failed suicide prevention protocols, failure of inmate count protocols, cameras that failed to record, guards that fell asleep on the job and were not making required monitoring rounds, submission to the court of the wrong video footage, and a second autopsy report that contradicted the official declaration of suicide by hanging.

Maxwell is accused of having recruited and groomed (and at times coerced) underaged girls as young as 14 years old to perform sex acts with Epstein and third parties from his close circle of friends at Epstein’s many luxury properties, including his Upper East Side townhouse in Manhattan, his estate in Palm Beach, Florida, his ranch in Santa Fe, New Mexico, and his home in London. According to the indictment , Maxwell would first build a rapport with the girls by taking them shopping and would then normalize sexual abuse by being present at the time of the sexual acts. She is also accused of even participating and initiating violations against the girls herself. The indictment charges that Maxwell “would try to normalize sexual abuse for a minor victim, by, among other things, discussing sexual topics, undressing in front of the victim, being present when a minor victim was undressed, and/or being present for sex acts involving the minor victim and Epstein.” It is claimed that Maxwell engaged in this activity going back to 1994. For a time line on Maxwell's history and relationship with Epstein, check out this comprehensive Vanity Fair article.

So why did Maxwell not leave the country? She is potentially facing up to 35 years in prison and is known to have three passports , many international connections, and the financial means to go any where in the world.

Should we assume she has something to offer? Rumors are that Maxwell has explosive video tapes of sexual acts with minors, pictures and emails potentially implicating powerful men who may have been complicit or may have participated in Epstein’s sex trafficking, including individuals known to have flown numerous times on Epstein’s private plane (Prince Andrew, Bill Clinton and the former prime minister of Israel). Other social relationships are also in question , including President Trump, law professor Alan Dershowitz, CEO and founder of L Brands, Les Wexner, former New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson, and former US Sen. George Mitchell. All have denied any such ties to Epstein or Maxwell.

If Maxwell has real corroborating evidence to support what Epstein's many young victims are claiming and to identify others who were complicit, Maxwell may get an immunity deal and walk away with no jail time. Her word alone is not likely to be enough since she has previously lied under oath.

It is possible that Maxwell may claim that she herself is a victim and that she was threatened and forced to help Epstein and comply with his requests to solicit young women for his personal pleasure. Plausible? Instinct might tell you that it is statistically rare for women to commit such heinous acts to solicit and groom young girls for sex. However, it is not . According to a 2015 study from the United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime , some 62% of suspected traffickers are men and 38% are women. Maxwell is alleged to have solicited young women for Epstein to sexually abuse for many years and participated in such criminal activity.

Maxwell knew the authorities were coming for her. She was ready and waiting. Our guess is that her lawyers have her well prepared to defend herself and that she has valuable information to potentially negotiate a deal. According to recent reports, Maxwell has hired the former US attorney for the Southern District of New York, Christian Everdell, who helped bring down cartel drug leader El Chapo Guzman. After Everdell's successful prosecution, he received the True American Hero Award by the Federal Drug Agent Foundation.

Maxwell claims she is innocent of all wrongdoing and that she did not know about Epstein's sexual trafficking of underaged girls.

We can’t wait to see what happens next. For now, let’s hope the authorities keep her alive in prison.

ARMY'S VANESSA GUILLEN SPARKS MILITARY #METOO OUTCRY

Thu, 09 Jul 2020 22:03:41 GMT

ARMY'S VANESSA GUILLEN SPARKS MILITARY #METOO OUTCRY

Army soldier and Houston, Texas native Vanessa Guillen was only 20 years old when she disappeared on April 22 from her base at Fort Hood, just days after reporting to family, friends and fellow soldiers that she was being sexually harassed by another soldier. Now her remains have been formally identified according to a family attorney. The main suspect, Aaron David Robinson, is now dead by suicide after confrontation with police and his girlfriend, Cecily Aguilar, has been arrested for allegedly helping him dispose of Guillen’s body.

Fort Hood officials are denying any knowledge of sexual harassment against Guillen and have not found a link between her murder and the alleged sexual harassment by the suspect. According to family, Guillen did not file a formal complaint with military officials for fear of retaliation. Guillan’s family is now calling on Congress to investigate the Army’s handling of the investigation claiming the Army did not take Guillan’s disappearance seriously for weeks. #IAmVanessaGuillen is now flooded with thousands of posts from women who have served in all branches of the military, shining a #MeToo flood light on sexual assault and harassment in the Armed Forces.

According to Protect Our Defenders , out of the 20,000 sexual assaults that active duty members suffer each year, only 130 end in conviction, claiming formal reporting risks future career aspirations and retaliation. Protect Our Defenders is a human rights organization that fights for survivors of military sexual assault and harassment.

Although the Army has the Sexual Harassment and Assault Response and Prevention Program (SHARP) designed to educate soldiers about sexual violence and provide a platform for victims to report incidents, SHARP appears not to be sufficient . In the military, prosecutions are handled by commanders who may have a conflict of interest, especially if they know the offender personally. As a result, the process is suspect and there are few prosecutions.

It is time for reform that would allow any service member to file a complaint of sexual assault and harassment with an outside non-military third party. This would allow investigations and prosecutions of violators without conflicts of interest and would help protect the claimant from retaliation. Combat Veteran and U.S. Senator Tammy Duckworth (D-IL) is calling for an immediate comprehensive review of SHARP to determine “whether SHARP is achieving its objectives...,” such review to include “surveys of soldiers addressing individual experiences with, and perceptions of, the SHARP program.”

For more on the history of sexual assault and harassment in the military, check out our blog titled 'Review of Industries: The Military’ on our website and our new book ‘Play Nice: Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace.’

LAWSUIT ALLEGES RAMPANT SEXUAL HARASSMENT ON THE SET OF CRIMINAL MINDS

Sat, 30 May 2020 23:27:07 GMT

Lawsuit Alleges Rampant Sexual Harassment on the Set of Criminal Minds

If this is one of your favorite TV shows you will be saddened by this news. I know I was.

We were already traumatized when Aaron Hotchner (Thomas Gibson), the fierce leader of the BAU (Behavioral Analysis Unit) was asked to leave the show after 11 seasons in 2016. Not for sexual harassment, but for alleged anger management issues. Yes, he did play a grumpy, never smiling, strict rule adhering boss—which must have been very stressful. What we did not know is that he had a few physical incidents, kicking a writer and previously pushing a producer after disagreements.

This past Wednesday, a lawsuit was filed by the California Department of Fair Employment and Housing in Los Angeles against CBS and Disney claiming that these networks covered up sexual harassment against more than a dozen male crew members on the set going back 14 years.

According to the lawsuit, a long term cinematographer, Gregory St. Johns, abused his position and touched multiple men on their private parts and “kissed or caressed their necks, shoulders and ears” in a manner that was “rampant, frequent and in the open.”

The suit alleges further that “the executive production team knew of and condoned the unlawful conduct” and dismissed more than a dozen men who complained about the harassment. Apparently management did not conduct sexual harassment training or take other corrective action and instead allowed the behavior to continue for years, and years, fostering a hostile work environment. Several members of the production team have been named as defendants in the suit.

St. Johns was dismissed from the show in 2018 only after Variety published an article on his behavior potentially causing damage to the show. Sources say that St. James received an “enhanced severance”.

Disney claims it took corrective action and cooperated with the California Department of Fair Employment and Housing during its investigation and regrets not reaching an amicable resolution. Disney intends to vigorously defend the claims. To date there has been no comment from CBS. St. James, ABC Studios (a division of Disney), CBS, Warner Bros, and Entertainment Partner Enterprises are already facing a lawsuit filed in mid 2019, by a 2nd assistant cameraman from the set of Criminal Minds.

Interesting that the production team dealt with what they believed to be disrespectful behavior by Thomas Gibson (Aaron Hotchner) in a swift manner, including requiring him to take anger management training, yet, it took them 14 years to deal with a sexual predator—and only after they were ‘outed’ by Variety . Sexual harassment is not just disrespectful, it is a crime, whether perpetrated against a woman or a man.

#TimesUp. We must #changetheculture to a work and social environment free of #sexualharassment and #abuse. Join us for further discussion at www.thesandboxseries.com and check out our book ‘Play Nice - Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace’ .

WORKING FROM HOME - YES, THERE IS A SILVER LINING!

Mon, 25 May 2020 20:31:26 GMT

Working from home - Yes, there is a silver lining!

The idea of working from home can be daunting, especially if you have a partner who is doing the same, children, and maybe even other family members living with you. All of the sudden, your responsibilities have tripled, from maintaining the household, including cooking, cleaning, and shopping for essentials, managing activities and school for the kids, to keeping up with your work requirements. You will have to negotiate space, meals, chores and family responsibilities around your work schedule. Most importantly, you may be missing your personal time at the office, and social interactions with your extended family and friends. Your life has changed dramatically.

We would argue it is not all that bad. Here are 8 ways to look at the positive side of working from home:

�� Spending Time at Home ��

How many times have you wished you could just stay home and spend a few days working in your comfy clothes? Now you have 100% permission without guilt or the need to make excuses to experience the life of a telecommuter. This is a positive. Enjoy and make the best of this rare opportunity!

⏳ Time Management and Scheduling��

For the first time in a long time, you get to set your own schedule for when to start your day, eat your meals, work, take breaks, exercise and enjoy play time. We recommend setting a regular schedule to help set expectations for your family and your work requirements and colleagues. How you self-motivate and discipline yourself to concentrate and be focused when needed to be more productive at home and at work will be important and challenging at first. Practice makes perfect. Now you have time to further develop those skills for your future.

�� Work Space Location��

You decide the location of your workspace and you can change it as you wish. It could be in a separate room, at your kitchen table, on your balcony, or in a park. Mix it up for variety and a healthier you! ��

�� Learning New Skills

Assuming your employer is providing all of the technical assistance you need to work efficiently from home, you are learning how to work remotely and independently no matter the circumstances—in many cases without assistance. Think about all of the skills you would not have otherwise acquired? Group video calls, commenting on documents over the internet, screen sharing for collaboration on matters, improving your research skills and creativity, designing marketing materials with internet tools…the list goes on depending on your industry. More importantly, you are likely spending more quality time on your projects for a better work product.

�� Flexible Work Schedule; Better Work/Life Balance

You have the ability to take a break and go for a walk, make banana bread, play with the kids, exercise, or call a friend in the middle of the day, with no judgment. You are deciding what you need in your day mentally and physically for a better work/life balance. This will likely foster a happier and healthier you and improve work motivation and productivity .

�� Improved Communications and Self-Promotion

Working from home, does not allow you to simply pop in to someone’s office for a question or to give a superior an update on a project. Self-promotion after a work success has now become more difficult. If you are working on projects with colleagues at work, you will want to be sure you are proactive in engaging with your co-workers and bosses, with regular check-ins and collaborative communications to evidence your value to the team. You now have time to find ways to stay accountable and responsive and learn how to promote successes that will be remembered at review and bonus time. You have an opportunity to shine. “Remember,” says Fay , “the onus is on the work-from-home individual to be over communicating what they’re doing and what they’re accomplishing.” Exercise your best efforts.

�� Opportunity to Save Money

Think about all of the ways you are saving money. Whether you take the subway or drive a car, you are saving on the cost of commuting, including tickets, gas, and if you own a car, likely even car insurance. Instead of meals out throughout the day or at night, you are cooking at home and clearing out what has been sitting in your fridge, freezer and cabinets. If you love Starbucks or have a favorite other coffee, you have converted your habit to in home coffee making. If you were used to regular happy hours at fun social meeting venues, you may be saving money with Zoom happy hours and home made cocktails. And, if you are not distracted by all of the sales on line, you may even be saving on new clothes for work and social outings.

⚒️�� Neglected To Do's and 'Me' Time

Most importantly, you can finally find some time to do things you have been neglecting. Whether it is cleaning out your closet, organizing family pictures, watching movies, taking a bath, or learning new hobbies and games, your daily to do list can include quality time for yourself and your family. For more check out our recommendations .

After the Covid-19 crisis passes and it will pass, you will have mastered the skills to get the job done from home and will have become a much more flexible and valuable employee. You might even decide to make a change and work from home a few times a week.

Wishing you the very best during your stay at home!

USING PLAY NICE TO EDUCATE FOR RESPECT IN THE WORKPLACE

Wed, 20 May 2020 23:28:50 GMT

Sexual Harassment - Using 'Play Nice' to Educate

Identifying and dealing with sexual harassment in the workplace and beyond is often difficult and complicated for both victims and bystanders. In 'Play Nice: Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace ' , we simplify the issue and provide elementary rules as tools to help men and women identify and stop sexual harassment in the moment. These rules are applicable to any work and non work environment.

In Play Nice we take a more elementary approach to identifying the typical violator, inappropriate behavio rs, stopping them early, and avoiding them altogether. We give real life exa mples, offer peer and expert opinions on how to deal with violators, and emphasize the importance of bystander support —an easy to read playbook, educating employees and leadership in a simplified fashion, men and women alike.

Share Play Nice with your employees, friends and family and then invite open discussion to continue the conversation to help #changetheculture and foster an environment free of #sexualharassment, bullying, racism and discrimination.

What will you do today to be #beupstanding? Join us for further discussion at www.thesandboxseries.com and check out our trailer below!

EMPOWERING THE BYSTANDER

Wed, 20 May 2020 23:28:32 GMT

EMPOWERING BYSTANDERS

Be an engaged bystander and you will make a difference!

How many times have you been a witness, bystander or enabler to bad behavior? Maybe the behavior made you uncomfortable and you did not want to get involved for fear of ridicule or retaliation from your friends or colleagues? You thought, surely someone else will say something or report the behavior. Or, maybe you were too scared to speak up for fear of being labeled a trouble maker and potentially affect your friendships or your job security.

It takes a village to change the culture and prevalence of sexual harassment in the sandbox of your social group or workplace. This village includes you, whether you are an executive, employee, friend or stranger. If you sense an uncomfortable reaction or witness offensive behavior, don’t be a bystander. Be an upstander and say something!

Intervening in a safe and gentle manner can be a powerful show of support for the recipient of the objectionable behavior. A simple comment might have impact such as “Hey, not cool! Be respectful." If you are at work or on a Video call, add: "You are violating company policy!” Men will listen to men and speaking up and taking a stand, might underscore your leadership qualities. Staying silent might make you complicit.

We need men to be engaged and help make a difference! Check out our blog for tips on how to be an upstander!

What will you do today to be #beupstanding to help #changetheculture for an environment without #sexualharassment at work or in your social circles? Join us for further discussion of how to play nice at w ww.thesandboxseries.com and check out our book 'Play Nice' .

PRACTICE LESSON - VIDEO CONFERENCE SEXUAL HARASSMENT

Wed, 20 May 2020 23:28:06 GMT

PRACTICE LESSON - VIDEO CONFERENCE SEXUAL HARASSMENT

Suggested Response:

In our book Play Nice, we call this type of harasser a territorial harasser .

Step 1: Get the violator’s attention. Call him by name until he pauses and ask him to let you speak. Keep interrupting him until he acknowledges you.

Step 3: Ask the violator to stop his behavior. For example, “Insecure Trip, please stop commenting on what we might be wearing on this call.”

Step 4: Give him a quick reason for your objection to the behavior. “ Your comments are not appropriate or respectful and are making us feel uncomfortable." If you can take a more light-hearted and gentle tone, he will hopefully appreciate your tone and courage and not take insult from your response.

Step 5: Don’t hesitate to remind him if he continues making inappropriate remarks. If the violator refuses to stop despite your reminders, call him separately to let him know your objection. If you are not comfortable doing so, find a more senior person to talk to him about his behavior. If that does not help and you have a Human Resources Department, file a complaint. If you do not have such a department, call the boss. Have a more senior person join you for support.

��Note to Bystanders: If you are in the meeting and witness this type of behavior, get the violators attention, and say: “Insecure Trip, you are bullying her and not being respectful. Please stop.” Intervention exhibits your leadership skills and can be especially impactful coming from a male colleague. Men will listen to men.

Let's help #changetheculture to a more healthy and prosperous environment, free from #abuse. #TimesUp. Let’s #playnice at work and stop and #workplacesexualharassment. For more on this topic and for other exercise examples, please check out our new book “Play Nice - Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace,” and join us at the www.thesandboxseries.com .

WORKING FROM HOME - TURNING OBSTACLES IN TO POSITIVES

Wed, 20 May 2020 23:27:49 GMT

Working from home - Turning obstacles in to positives

At first, the thought might have been daunting—especially if you are not used to working remotely. Will I get anything done? How will I tune out and find some distance and quiet away from my room mates, partner, kids, or house pets? Is there a quiet and isolated space for me to work? Do I have all of the right computer equipment and electronics to work efficiently? If not, will my employer make sure I have what I need to get my job done? Will my environment and neighborhood cooperate when I am making a presentation or giving a report on a Zoom call with a group of people? Will I be disciplined enough to establish a schedule that works for my work requirements? How will my employer know if I am getting my work done or about my successes?

Let’s be real. There are plenty of obstacles depending upon your living situation and your work responsibilities, and as we have seen from those in the media and the entertainment industry on tv, you never know when your favorite kid, dog or noise will emerge unannounced—in most cases, creating a welcome distraction. It is up to you to make it work for your situation and it is important to ask your partner or family for help, especially if you have children.

Setting a strict and regular schedule, will help set expectations for your family and colleagues. Rise and shine at a regular hour, get ready like you would for work, shower and dress in casual nice comfortable clothes in case you are on a Zoom call, set work hours and times for calls, eat regularly, and make sure you are getting some exercise, either first thing in the morning before work, as a break in the afternoon, or as a reward at the end of your work day. Working from home allows you to control your schedule without typical at work distractions—if your environment cooperates.

Whether man or woman, negotiate your schedule with your family, so they know when it is important for you to have quiet time for work and calls and when you are available for social and fun family time. If you and your spouse are both working from home, take turns managing the kids, cooking the meals, and doing house chores. Working from home as a single parent or with a child with challenges, can be especially difficult and stressful. Reach out to your friends and family for help to give you a well deserved break, even if it is to take a bath or to run errands and go to the grocery store.

Call on your employer to help you with technical support necessary to allow you to work efficiently from home. Depending upon your job requirements, you may also need word processing assistance, document pick up and delivery, work supplies, and other requirements. It is in the best interest of your employer to support your productivity and successes while working at home. Find a quiet place to work instead of your bed or couch, set a strict work and break schedule, keep a work to do list with regular check-ins and communications with your team, and minimize distractions (including tv, social media, and phones).

Negotiating these obstacles will help you concentrate more efficiently for a better work product and a happier you. At least you will not have the constant distractions you were having at work. You will have them soon enough—we know you miss them. Worst case, the experience of working from home will have taught you to be a much more flexible employee who can work any time from any where. You will understand why telecommuting is a popular trend.

According to employers , telecommuters are able to achieve a more healthy and happy work-life balance with less stress, tend to work longer hours and more efficiently (without the constant distractions of a work office environment), take less sick leave, and save their employers money on office space and infrastructure expenses. With your new experience, you might have the option to make that change some day!

THE PERVERSION OF #METOO FOR POLITICS

Sun, 03 May 2020 13:26:35 GMT

'HE SAID; SHE SAID'

THE PERVERSION OF #METOO FOR POLITICS

The #MeToo movement advocates for survivors of sexual harassment or assault to speak out about their experiences in order to expose violators and combat sexual misconduct, yet, the main stream media and even staunch supporters of #MeToo and #TimesUp largely ignored Tara Reade’s allegations against former Vice President Joe Biden for weeks. What happened to #BelieveWomen ? Politics by omission? Shouldn’t the same voices who claimed outrage about Brett Kavanaugh (where there was almost no corroboration) be screaming #BelieveWomen from the rooftops about Joe Biden?

Biden is known as a supporter of women, as principal champion for the 1994 Violence Against Women’s Act, and his efforts to change the culture of violence against women on college campuses by relaxing the standards of evidence during the Obama administration. Commenting on the “he-said, she-said” accusations against Brett Kavanaugh, Biden himself said: “For a woman to come forward in the glaring lights of focus, nationally,” he told reporters, “you’ve got to start off with the presumption that at least the essence of what she’s talking about is real, whether or not she forgets facts, whether or not it’s been made worse or better over time. ” #BelieveWomen

Should his standard regarding #BelieveWomen not apply to the accusations of Reade against Biden himself? Just because Biden is the only candidate to potentially beat Donald Trump, does not mean Tara Reade’s claim should be ignored. Tara Reade deserves a fair listen. We don’t know yet if Reade is telling the truth or not, and to this day, we don’t know if Christina Blasey Ford was telling the truth.

Simply to #BelieveWomen as Biden said and as touted by many prominent women during the Kavanaugh hearings 'no matter what' and 'without due process and the presumption of innocence' should not be the standard. We must all agree that there should be a fair and balanced process of discovering the truth with diligent and honest investigation. At the very least, we should start with Biden’s own standard—“the presumption that at least the essence of what she’s talking about is real” and not simply give Biden a pass because he is the only remaining Democratic candidate for President to run against Trump.

It appears, politics may be at play.

We acknowledge that reporting on Covid19 is front and center with respect to the daily news, but seriously, how is Tara Reade’s allegation not relevant to the upcoming election? Where has the main stream media been on this story? It has been almost three weeks and only now, after more corroborating evidence is surfacing, are major media outlets feeling the pressure to address the allegation.

The Washington Post finally covered the story this week headlining “ Trump allies highlight new claims regarding the allegations against Biden” …. “ Apparent corroboration surfaced this week for elements of two accusations made by Biden’s [accuser]…,” as if using these descriptions might render the corroborations suspect. These corroborations are real and are forcing major media outlets to finally pay attention.

As of this date , we know about two anonymous friends, a former co-worker, Reade’s brother, and now a life long Democrat neighbor, Lynda LaCasse, who have corroborated Reade’s accounts told to them by Reade within a few years of the alleged assault. We have seen a video from August 11, 1993’s “Larry King Live’ which was discovered by The Intercept this past Friday, allegedly featuring Reade’s mother calling in and alluding to her daughter’s sexual assault claims against Biden. In her call, she references her daughter as a staffer working for a prominent senator and how her daughter’s only option seemed to be to go to the press, but out of respect for the senator she decided not to do so . CNN ’s own investigative reporters failed to check it’s own archives for this video and did not even mention the discovery during CNN 's Friday night prime time lineup. Interesting given the many stories and segments CNN featured about the allegations against Kavanaugh, which in many minds were not compelling since Dr. Blasey Ford was not able to recall many of the details involving her assault, including the date, the location, or the other people present (except for one person who could not recall being in the same house at the time).

Media bias? None of CNN, ABC, or NBC , has asked Biden to comment, despite multiple appearances. Why? Targeting Biden for sexual harassment would likely hurt his campaign for presidency.

According to reports , Tara Reade claims that when she was a staffer for then-Senator Joe Biden in 1993, he pinned her to a wall likely in the basement of a Capitol Hill office building, groped her and put his hand under her skirt and penetrated her with his fingers. She does not recall the exact day, time or specific location of the assault.

In fairness to Biden, these claims differ from what she reported last year , when seven other women reported inappropriate behavior by Biden at the time—that he “rubbed her shoulders and neck” and “played with her hair”. According to a friend, Reade was worried about disclosing the assault, for fear of retaliation and backlash. Despite claims by Reade that she raised Biden’s inappropriate conduct (except the assault) with some of her supervisors at the time, none of them recalled having these discussions with Reade in recent interviews. Reade says she even filed a report with the Senate personnel office (in which she may have excluded the assault), which she believes are stored at the University of Delaware, which records were to be released publicly, but have now been resealed. Reade claims, soon after making her initial complaints, she was asked to look for another job.

After much pressure from Biden’s supporters, Biden appeared on MSNBC's Morning Joe Friday morning in an interview with Mika Brzezinski. After being asked to clarify for the American people whether he had sexually assaulted Tara Reade, Biden responded: “No. It is not true. I am saying unequivocally, it never, never happened and it didn’t. It never happened.” When asked wether he remembers Tara Reade, Biden replies: “I don’t remember any complaint having ever been made. It was 27 years ago.” When pressed by Mika about his own standard for believing women ‘why were the claims real for Dr. Ford and not for Reade’ Biden insists that Reade has a right to be heard and her claims should be vigorously vetted. “In the end, the truth is what matters and in this case, the truth is that the claims are false. The truth will come out and then they can be believed. He insists that they are not true. At one point he says “they are not corrobor…” but then stops himself.

We applaud Mika. She asks Biden some very tough questions and pushes for clarification when Biden seems invasive or unclear. Mika presses him multiple times about a complaint that Reade says she filed with the Senate office and believes are among Biden’s Senate records held by the University of Delaware. Apparently, those records were to be made public but now have been resealed to be held until Biden leaves public office. Biden believes her complaint, if filed, would be with the ‘personnel files’ in the National Archives and has authorized the Secretary of the Senate to release those records. (Those records are not with the Archives and would have remained with the Senate, according to recent inquiries from the WSJ .) Mika presses, why not conduct a search for Tara Reade’s names in the National Archives and in the records held by the University of Delaware for complete transparency? Biden becomes defensive stating that those record would contain confidential documents, memos of discussions with controversial leaders, and position papers that could be used against him during his campaign—and "no one else had done that!" He does not understand her point, he exclaims. Mika presses, just a search of Tara Reade's name. He get’s testy. “Who does that search?” Finally, he tries to shut Mika down. If a report was filed, it was filed with Senate office. "Period!" he says.

Regardless of your political persuasion, we should take Reade’s accusations seriously, encourage and conduct thorough due diligence, ethically and with honesty and integrity, hear from the accused on the matter, report the facts on a fair, balanced and bipartisan basis, and then allow the public to decide who to believe. #MeToo and #TimesUp are milestone movements that are critical to promoting a cultural change for respect in the workplace and beyond, for a culture free of sexual harassment and violence . Dismissing Reade’s allegation for political purposes without proper vetting will damage these very important causes going forward. Many argue enough damage was done to these movements during the Kavanaugh hearings.

It should not matter that Biden supports women’s causes, or is a good guy—many claim the same is true for Brett Kavanaugh. It does not matter that as of this time, there is only one allegation against Biden as opposed to the 20 plus we know of against Trump. This is about #MeToo and the importance of listening and evaluating a serious allegation that deserves to be heard and vetted vigorously. This should not be about politics.

Until Reade is properly and fairly heard and we can determine based on all of the facts whether or not she is believable, premature acquittal of Biden and disrespectful treatment of Tara Reade, especially by key and high profile women (including potential Vice Presidential candidates) who were outraged by the allegations against Kavanaugh emphatically insisting on #BelieveWomen without insisting on due process and the presumption of innocence—are disappointing, appear self-serving politically and are hypocritical. They are damaging the very importance and meaning of the #MeToo movement and the victims this movement was intended to support. Tara Reade deserves their apology.

Ruth Marcus from The Washington Post said it best : “Outrage over misbehavior only by those with whom we have ideological differences is not righteous — it is hypocritical. Skepticism about accusations only when they are made against someone with whom we are ideologically aligned is not high-minded — it is intellectually dishonest.”

Let’s encourage a fair and balanced investigation for all alleged victims of sexual assault and their alleged violators.

Together we can #changetheculture to a more healthy and prosperous environment, free from #abuse. #TimesUp. Let’s #playnice at work and stop #workplacesexualharassment. For more on this topic and for other exercise examples, please check out our new book “Play Nice - Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace,” and join us at the www.thesandboxseries.com .

Family Spotlight: Say Hello to Brigitte and David (KIMO) Kimichik

bkimichik@gmail.com (Brigitte Kimichik) — Thu, 30 Apr 2020 18:12:56 GMT

Read about the Kimichik's recently featured in the Preston Hollow Life Family Spotlight

Download the spread from the April 2020 issue of Preston Hollow Life to learn more about Brigitte Kimichik, co-author of Play Nice: Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace , and her family below.

Preston Hollow Life: Family Feature

Tue, 28 Apr 2020 20:22:37 GMT

Preston Hollow Life features the Kimichiks. Learn more about co-author Brigitte's family, pets, and the mission behind the book: Play Nice: Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace.

UPDATE ON VIOLATORS—CORONAVIRUS IRONY?

Sun, 19 Apr 2020 22:55:24 GMT

The Irony of Where Some Violators Find Themselves Today

�� Harvey Weinstein

After Harvey Weinstein was sentenced to 23 years in prison , almost the max sentence he was facing for his recent convictions in February, the news broke that he has tested positive for COVID-19 and is now in isolation in prison. Given his health conditions, this is not good news for Weinstein. We hope that isolation and proper care will help him recover so he can spend the entirety of his sentence reflecting on his actions that placed him in this situation in the first place.

In February, a Manhattan jury found Weinstein guilty of a first-degree criminal sexual act (for forcing oral sex on “Project Runway” production assistant Miriam Haley in 2006), and third-degree rape (for having nonconsensual sex with then-aspiring actress Jessica Mann in 2013). Weinstein was acquitted of the most severe charges of predatory sexual assault which would have carried possible life sentences.

�� Placido Domingo

On March 20, opera singer Placido Domingo resigned from the U.S. Union that represents opera singers after two investigations by the American Guild of Musical Artists and the Los Angeles Opera found sexual harassment allegations against him to be credible. According to reports , Domingo has agreed to contribute $500,000 to the guild for sexual harassment eradication programs and to help opera employees in crisis. In exchange, the AGMA has withdrawn disciplinary charges against him.

Domingo and his family are now also in isolation in Spain after he tested positive for the coronavirus.

Domingo (79) is accused of inappropriate sexual behavior towards multiple singers and a dancer spanning three decades, some of whom claim they were too afraid to report his conduct and in some cases reluctantly agreed to intimate encounters for fear of ruining their careers.

WORKING AT HOME WITH YOUR PARTNER? OUR FAVORITE ADVICE

Tue, 14 Apr 2020 16:06:20 GMT

Working at home with your Partner? How to stay sane!

These are difficult times and it can be daunting to spend almost 100% of your time alone with your partner. If you were empty nesters and your kids are back home from college for the immediate future or you have children who are now home bound from school, you are likely facing many other challenges. We will address those in another blog.

For now, let's talk about your relationship with your partner. My husband and I have been retired for several years, going from working late hours and weekends to suddenly spending most of our time together. We had to adjust quickly to make our time together productive and comfortable. We are often asked what we do to keep ourselves busy and, yes, do we still like each other?

Today, in the midst of the Coronavirus crisis and the new rules to "shelter in place", being alone with your partner has become a reality for many. Will you still like each other once our lives get back to normal in a few weeks—or months? Or will you be knitting him a scarf?

We searched the web for advice on how to make the best of your time together. Here are some of our favorite suggestions.

�� You don’t have to spend all of your time together

It is important to acknowledge your individual personal time. You may like watching different shows, engage in different outdoor activities, and enjoy different hobbies. My husband and I work out at different times in the morning and in the afternoons, he may golf, while I check emails, read or play Mahjongg online with my friends.

�� Plan activities for the week ahead of time

Especially during this difficult time of the Coronavirus, planning activities and setting expectations is important. We generally decide which nights to cook and which nights to order take-out to help our local restaurants. The timing of any activities during the day around meal time is important to respect when meals are ready to be served by you or your partner. Any Zoom or FaceTime Happy Hours or calls with kids and families, any online Mahjongg games, yoga classes or meditation, and outdoor activities such as golf, power walks and runs, should also be respected. Try not to interrupt unless important.

�� Appreciate any Tension or Anxiety

The stress and anxiety caused by the current health, job and financial market uncertainty is very real for many if not most of our communities, friends and family and will no doubt take a toll on our home lives. Not being able to socialize freely is daunting and uncomfortable. Be patient with one another and make sure you are listening to your partner and those who you communicate with. We are all affected differently and have different thresholds for stress. Openly show empathy, be gentle with any criticisms, and remember to compliment your partner - often. Make sure you are making time for intimacy and openly share that you are appreciating that time. Take a shower or bath together, try a jacuzzi if you are lucky enough to have one and the neighbors can’t see you, stay in bed for hours one day, and walk around naked if you are by yourselves. Why not. Revert back to the time when you were first dating for a change. There are many other ways to spend time together. Try a new recipe and cook together. Grab a drink or wine and sit on your balcony or in the yard for an hour and talk. Watch an old or new movie together or binge a new TV series you have been wanting to try. Most importantly, share funnies you receive by email or text. We have found many of them to be very entertaining.

�� If you want something, advise gently

Be specific if you would like for your partner to share a task, do a chore, or help you in any other manner. Don’t expect your partner to read your mind. If you get any push back, remind him or her gently, that sharing would be helpful and certainly ok, since your schedules are wide open! What else is there to do?

�� If you argue, take a time out

There is no doubt that spending a ton of time together might cause some testy back talk. If that happens and tensions are rising, agree to pick up on the argument at a later specific time. If you have children, pick a place where they do not have to be a witness. You will likely be much calmer when you resume the discussion.

For more on this topic, check out this great resource from Time .

CORONAVIRUS AND DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

Mon, 13 Apr 2020 15:23:56 GMT

Corona Virus and Domestic Violence - What can you do to help?

Now more than ever, we must be vigilant in helping victims of domestic violence.

During this critical time of the Coronavirus, where victims are required to stay home from work and school and self-isolate, often with their abuser, they may be subject to increased risk of domestic violence.

Self-isolation and the current "shelter in place" orders, intended to help our community stay healthy, are likely to increase an abuser's stress and anxiety levels. Living in close quarters, not being able to distance at work or socialize with friends and family, increased alcohol consumption, and financial difficulties, can be very stressful and for abusers, can be powerful triggers to release frustration on their partners and children.

According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence , millions of women are affected by partner violence every year. According to reports, the Coronavirus quarantine is causing an uptick in these crimes in China and in the United Kingdom. The New York Post recently reported that New York's main domestic violence online resource (NYC Hope) had 1240 visitors from March 18 through March 30, an average of 95 visits per day. Victims are on lock-down with no avenue to escape and seek help. Now that their abusive partner is at home, they are under constant supervision. Worse, their children are at greater risk of witnessing abusive behavior and experiencing it themselves. Even if victims wanted to report domestic abuse, it is now much more difficult for them to make a phone call and reach out for help.

Although many states are taking notice and have clarified that shelters and domestic violence service providers are "essential services", concerns for the spread of Coronavirus are making it difficult for services to be performed. Even protective order courts have limited operating hours or are working remotely.

Now more than ever, it is important to support our local shelters and domestic abuse healthcare providers. If you would like to donate to our preferred hero service providers helping to combat domestic abuse, please visit www.genesisshelter.org . The Genesis website has very important advice for preparedness and how to handle escalating situations during this very difficult time. They also have a 24-hour emergency hotline at 214.946.HELP (4357).

More importantly, if you are witness to abuse or you know the persons abused are not able to call for help themselves, report it. Call 911 if you think they are in danger. Unfortunately, child abuse and domestic violence are likely to increase during this time of social isolation and economic hardships. Report child abuse either by phone 1-800-252-5400 or online at txabusehotline.org if you suspect a child may be in danger. In Texas, every adult is a mandatory reporter.

For domestic violence victims in Texas, advocacy screening and protective orders are now available by phone from 8 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. at 214-653-3528. Temporary protective orders will be extended until physical hearings can be held [copied from Preston Hollow E News (3.25.20)]. For more information and assistance, please see the City of Dallas domestic violence website .

If you are a victim and are suffering from financial abuse, check out these helpful articles for resources on achieving financial independence from bankrate.com and creditcard.com .

��Let's help stop domestic violence together‼️ ��

Celebrating Women: Our hero of the week!

Mon, 13 Apr 2020 15:23:50 GMT

Celebrating Women: Our Hero of the Week - Jan Edgar Langbein

Genesis CEO Jan Langbein - is a force of lightening!

A few years after the Genesis Women's Shelter was founded in 1985, Jan Langbein found her mission and stepped in to grow the then 7 bed shelter. Today, the organization helps more than 3700 women and their children each year to give them safe haven from abuse and domestic violence.

Jan Langbein is a prominent voice and 'force of lightening' with respect to this very worthy cause to help women and children locally and around the world. Her mission and cause for zero tolerance for domestic violence continues to make a much needed impact. Jan Langbein also started The Crimes Against Women’s Conference in Dallas 14 years ago, joined by community leaders, the Dallas Police Force, and the FBI. More than 3000 people attended this conference from all over the world in 2019. As a member of the Genesis Auxiliary Board, I am honored to know her. Laura and George Bush recently awarded Langbein the George W. Bush Trailblazer Citation (Award). ��

Now more than ever, we must be vigilant in helping victims of domestic violence. During this critical time of the Coronavirus, where victims are required to stay home from work and school, often with their abuser, they may be subject to increased risk of domestic violence . These "shelter in place" orders, intended to help our community stay healthy, are likely to increase an abuser's stress and anxiety levels . If you see abuse, report it. If you know someone who might need assistance, encourage them to call the Emergency Hotline: 214.946.HELP (4357) and 911 if in immediate danger.

If you are a victim and are suffering from financial abuse, check out this helpful article for resources on achieving financial independence from creditcard.com .

If you would like more information or would like to donate to help, please visit www.genesisshelter.org .

STIR CRAZY AT HOME? LET'S GET BUSY!!

Fri, 10 Apr 2020 20:29:43 GMT

Stir Crazy at Home? Let's Get Busy!!

Are you having difficulty adjusting to home life 24/7? Here are some of our favorite things to do during this challenging time of self-isolation and "shelter in place" orders:

�� Establish a routine

Psychology professor Finian Buckley from Dublin City University shares that keeping a regular daily schedule is important for mental health and coping with social distancing.

Just like you did for work, wake up at a regular time, take a shower, get dressed, and plan your day ahead. Eating your meals at consistent times, working regular hours, scheduling time for play and exercise, and engaging in activities with friends and family remotely are all activities you should still continue day-to-day. A daily routine and plan with variety for meals, work, exercise and play is best. The experts say you will feel better and you are likely to have a sense of accomplishment.

�� Practice Mindful Eating

Keep track of what and how often you are eating, even just snacks. If you want some help, checkout some popular apps, such as WeightWatchers , Nutrisystem , and NOOM . It is tempting to stay on the couch and watch TV all day, but that will not support a healthy life-style and you will have difficulty adjusting once our world gets back to normal.

�� Start Cooking

Start cooking again or learn how to cook. If you have roommates or family members, learn new recipes together for some fun in the kitchen. Use Zoom or FaceTime on your phone or iPad to cook old recipes with distant family members and grandma who would certainly love to teach you a thing or two! Remember, however, to get occasional take-out to help your local restaurants. Another way to help is to buy gift cards from local businesses to use when they are back up and running, giving them much needed cash today when they need it the most.

�� Exercise, Exercise, Exercise

If exercising is not your thing, now is a good time to explore. There are many online apps that allow you to freely exercise outdoors and at home, including walking and running apps, in door yoga, strength training, dancing, and fitness camps. Many are free . If you are interested in creating a workout space and routine at home, checkout this helpful article from theworkoutdigest.com. If exercising does not appeal to you, go for an easy walk. Just a few minutes outside where you can waive to your neighbors and fellow walkers will lift your spirits. Grab your dog, spouse or family member living with you, or take the entire family. Walk with a friend, but social distance! We no longer have an excuse and any exercise or movement will support our mental health!

�� Incorporate Play Time

Play time should include anything that will relieve stress and bring joy, whether it is taking a long bath, calling an old friend, reading a book, watching a movie or TV show, playing golf, making a puzzle, or playing on-line games (with or without friends - Mahjongg) or board games. If you have younger kids and they have not read the Harry Potter series, now is a good time to use your fake (or real) British accent and read to them every night! Buy them on Amazon or ask a friend to borrow them.

�� Get organized and caught up!

Work your way around your living quarters. Start with your closet, then move to clean out every room (including your attic, shed and garage if you have one), and wipe down and re-organize cabinets, drawers, and shelves. Get rid of or donate what you no longer need. Clean out and wash your car. Organize those pictures that are piling up. If they are on your computer, you can use shutterfly.com to create albums of different events and share them with family and friends. If you have been looking to frame a few pictures, try apps like mixtiles.com - they are easy to create and order for hanging! Michaels is advertising ordering on line for pick-up or delivery.

If you need some ideas on how to better organize, checkout beeorganizeddallas.com for help. Beeorganized-Dallas is sharing their thoughts online with videos. Clean out your computer. Unsubscribe from emails you don’t need, and clean out emails. Do the same with your phone texts. Fix things that are broken.

Finally, catch up on much needed paper work—yes, including your taxes and wills. You guessed it. There is plenty to do!

♦️ Start a new hobby!

What about painting, doodling with colored pencils, knitting, stitching, running, cooking, playing an instrument, golfing, learning a new language (try the Duolingo App). Start gardening or learn how to buy and arrange your own flowers. Find a good free running app and become a runner. Learn how to play a game you have always wanted to play. Mahjongg? Poker?

�� Reach Out!

Make a list of family, friends, neighbors and colleagues you have not talked to and reach out. Don't forget the older members of your family and social circles, especially if they are living alone. Other than the old fashion way - a phone call, you can also try the following ways which are highly popular right now:

�� Sharing kindness - a simple act of kindness can make a huge difference in someone's life. Consider bringing a meal to someone who lives alone, shopping for groceries for your elder neighbors, putting a home made flower arrangement at their door, or baking a sweet treat to share. Many neighborhood associations have set up volunteer schedules for neighbors that need help.

�� Video chats - Join a video chat app and schedule evening happy hours or social hour with your friends or family. Examples are FaceTime - for apple products; Zoom or Skype which works on your computer or phone; Google Hangouts for Android up to 10 people; and Houseparty , which takes up to 8 people at a time.

�� WhatsApp - if you have family and friends around the country or around the world, set up a WhatsApp group for regular communications with funnies and family updates. You can use WhatsApp to make calls overseas for free!

�� Email group - set up an email group with your friends and share regular updates and picture or video funnies to provide some much needed entertainment.

�� Have a Netflixparty ! You can invite friends to join a movie or binge a TV Series where you can communicate online while watching the movie!

�� Old fashioned writing - Write letters or cards to friends and family.

�� Family history - Interview your grandparents and help write your family history.

�� Birthday celebration - if you have a local neighbor or family member with a bday, consider organizing a trail of cars to drive by and hoot horns, wearing hats and decorated cars. For any who are remote, consider a cookie bouquet for delivery. You will make their day!

�� Scavenger Hunt - in our neighborhood, the association asked that folks post a teddy in their windows for kids to locate on their walks. Great idea!

Take advantage of this time for human contact and remote socialization!

✍�� Make a Bucket List

Plan what you want to do and where you want to go next. You are likely going to find some great travel deals!

�� Consider Fostering an Animal

If you don't have an animal, consider fostering a cat or dog for a few weeks. The animal shelters are crowded and need your help! Who knows. You may fall in love all over again.

��‍♀️ Take Care of Yourself

Most importantly, take care of yourself. Are you feeling overwhelmed? If you have lost your steady and calm mindset, those around you will feel the tension and anxiety you are exhibiting and it will affect their outlook and disposition. Take an online yoga or meditation class. Meditate every night before you go to bed. There are plenty of apps that claim to cleanse your mind in just a few minutes, such as headspace.com and calm.com . Limit your news intake. Get outside and take a walk. If you have animals, play with them. They are the best distraction. Who does not like unconditional love?

Please share your thoughts on what is helping you during this unusual and difficult time. We would love to hear from you!

❤️We hope our blog helps. Wishing you all the best of health, calm, sanity, patience, and lot's and lot's of love.❤️

SEXUAL HARASSMENT - WHY BELIEVE HER NOW?

Mon, 16 Mar 2020 20:28:04 GMT

Sexual Harassment - Why Believe Her Now?

An edited excerpt from our book Play Nice- Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace :

[Chapter 4, Page 76]

The Weinstein trial in NY raised many familiar questions, including, "If she waited for years, maybe decades, to finally tell her story, why should we believe her now? What if she is lying to gain a few minutes of fame only to ruin the alleged perpetrator’s career and even life? "

For a moment, try putting yourself in her shoes.

It is tough to disclose an embarrassing and humiliating incident that violated your person and affected you to your core for so long. Why would you voluntarily risk ridicule, harmful exposure, a ruined reputation, and your career, all for a few minutes of fame? What about exposing your family, friends, marriage, or children to the knowledge you were violated? Would you be willing for this information to be in the public domain? No argument, there have been situations where women have been untruthful , but reports indicate these instances are rare .

Victims are coming forward in an effort to finally bring the perpetrator to justice the only way they can—in the court of public opinion. They want to stop the perpetrator from harming others and to bring awareness to a problem that has been plaguing them for decades.

Why should we believe these victims? For many of them, their stories in the media have included supporting evidence, such as corroborating accounts at the time of the incidents; similar patterns of behavior by the harasser experienced by other victims; prior settlements of similar sexual harassment claims; and other condemning disclosures. Victims finally have a more secure platform and the support to be courageous and share their experiences.

This is a cleansing moment and a shocking awakening to a severe and widespread problem across all industries. Use recent news stories as discussion points with your colleagues, family members, and friends.

#changetheculture #MeToo #TimesUP #harveyweinstein #respectwomenatwork #womeninbusiness #justiceforwomen

SEXUAL HARASSMENT - WHY DO WOMEN FAIL TO REPORT?

Mon, 16 Mar 2020 20:18:06 GMT

Sexual Harassment - Why Do Women Fail to Report?

An excerpt from our book Play Nice- Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace :

[Chapter 4, Page 74]

Fear of Shame, Humiliation, Intimidation, and Retaliation

If you’ve been watching the flood of news resulting from the #MeToo movement, you may have noted that many sexual harassment claims remain unreported. Reasons for this include victims fearing they won’t be believed and will face retaliation at work. According to the EEOC, three out of four incidents remain unreported, and of those ultimately reported, many are not even disclosed for years (or decades) until one victim finally finds the courage to report the harassment, causing others to follow suit. The #MeToo movement made en masse reporting possible with cases like Harvey Weinstein, film producer; Louis C.K., comedian; and James Toback, film director. We have fielded many questions from men (and women) on this topic, specifically about incidents that happened years and even decades ago. In many instances, victims feel they have no choice. They fear that if they refuse, object, try to leave, or report the behavior, they will suffer embarrassment, humiliation, and/or retaliation; they won’t be believed; they’ll lose their job; or they may suffer (or exacerbate) physical harm. People in influential positions may be intimidating or known to be vindictive.

Whether the violation is a slap on the behind, a lewd comment, a demand for sex, or even rape, a victim of harassment orassault may be reluctant to report what’s happened to them for allthe reasons listed above and more . A victim’s fear of being shamed,not being believed, and/or retaliation is not an unnatural response tosexual abuse, even if it is sometimes difficult for others to understand.

You may be finding yourself wondering things like, “Why did shenot say no? Why did she agree to have drinks with him? Why did shevoluntarily walk into his hotel room on a trip out of town? Why didshe trust that he would treat her right? When his intentions becameclear, why did she not extract herself and get out of the room? Why didshe allow herself to be placed in a vulnerable position? Basically, whydidn’t she do something?” This is called victim shaming.

Here are some possibilities. Maybe the man was her boss or a colleague with influence,power, and credibility. If she had screamed, fought back, called911, or shouted her story from the rooftops, would she be believed?He pressured her, exerted his power over her, and intimidated her intocompliance. He may have invited her to his hotel room with false pretenses.He may have told her, “You know that I do not take no for ananswer!” He may have had stature and power within the company andbeen valued as a significant contributor. If he denied the accusations,his side of the story would likely be believed over hers without damningphysical or recorded evidence. She would have to suffer the shameof intense questioning and humiliation over what happened, and herreputation and career could have been ruined if she hadn’t done thethings that provided the opportunity for her assault. She may have feltshe had no choice but to keep her mouth shut in order to save herselfand her job, at great personal sacrifice, potentially with consequencesaffecting the rest of her life. Or maybe she was taken by surprise.

It’sdifficult to keep your guard up all the time, and something innocuous,like a drink with a trusted colleague, may be or become dangerous inan entirely unanticipated way.

For an actor, the stakes in Hollywoodare high. If you refuse advances or complain about improper behavior,you risk being blackballed for the rest of your career. Many felt it was expected and part of the process of interviewing for an opportunity.

Maybe you’re wondering why this woman didn’t just leave andfind another job. But consider this: Why should the victim be requiredto find another place to work? What if she likes her job and would liketo stay? What if her particular job is scarce? What if changing jobswould cause a loss of income or a cut in pay? Obviously, leaving wouldnot be fair. It’s wholly inappropriate to protect the perpetrator overthe victim.

In reality, many women do end up leaving their workplacebecause of fears about their future at the company or because they arebeing made uncomfortable, but the solution to the problem is not todisplace and replace the victim.

#changetheculture #MeToo #TimesUP #harveyweinstein #respectwomenatwork #womeninbusiness #justiceforwomen

HARVEY WEINSTEIN AND THE POWER IMBALANCE - HOLLYWOOD

Mon, 16 Mar 2020 20:14:34 GMT

HARVEY WEINSTEIN AND THE POWER IMBALANCE IN HOLLYWOOD

The Weinstein NY case has raised some confusion. Why did the victims in this case continue amicable relationships with Weinstein after they claim he sexually assaulted them? Why is there a perception that the women 'did not behave like typical assault victims'? Why did these women put themselves in precarious positions to begin with?

Weinstein himself spoke to the judge in court prior to his sentencing: “….I had wonderful times with these people. I’m just genuinely confused. Men are confused about this issue.”

Weinstein claims he believed he was having consensual relationships with his accusers. Why else would many of them have continued their relationships with Weinstein on an amicable and in some cases on an intimate basis if they believed they were sexually assaulted or even raped? In his view these accusers behaved differently from what regular rape victims would do.

What does Weinstein (and in his view many other men) not understand about his relationship with these women?

As we review in our book Play Nice - Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace , Weinstein is the perfect showcase of how power imbalance is key to sexual assault: a person in power imposing his will on another who cannot resist or defend herself for fear of retaliation concerning a job, opportunity, or reputation. According to experts , "People who perpetrate this kind of violence are highly-skilled at recognizing vulnerabilities,...reading fear...and taking advantage of it anyway."

The reality is that this type of bad behavior may have been tolerated and permitted for many years in Hollywood—such behavior often including sexual assault and rape. For example, does the “casting couch” sound familiar? As a model or actress in a predominantly male-dominated decision-making environment, chances of success are low and opportunities fiercely competitive. Your fate depends on who you know, how you look and dress, and what you will agree to or tolerate (in many cases on the casting couch) in order to get a shot at fame. For Hollywood, accepting the invitation to a hotel room or accepting a request for a massage became an acceptable risk in order not to lose the potential role or job.

The casting-couch concept is nothing new and has been in existence since the birth of the movie industry. It is the place where an aspiring actor is asked to relax while she is evaluated for her talent. The efforts to “relax” and “be evaluated” are then abused by predators who assume that acceptance of the visit or meeting means consent to sex. Harvey Weinstein himself publicly justified his behavior by saying he grew up in the 1960s and 1970s, when, he believes, his behavior was common and acceptable. In many cases, women were sexually abused and assaulted without their express permission. We are certain this practice continues today, and not just in Hollywood.

You may believe that women who find themselves in compromising situations, about to be sexually assaulted, always have a choice. They could either accept the terrible; defend themselves physically; report the behavior to the authorities; or say “NO!” and walk (or run) away. For many women, however, the choice may not be easy or may not be available at all. Maybe, in the moment, she feels the only option is to comply or otherwise risk her one shot or opportunity, her job, or, in some cases, her safety. If she resists or complains, she may be blackballed and forever lose that specific opportunity or any future possibility to work in the industry. Where the perpetrator is a superior, she may be labeled a troublemaker and be demoted, loose her opportunity for promotion, or her job.

We have all heard the obvious question, especially since the #MeToo movement launched: “Why did she not immediately report her assault?” It is tough to understand and sympathize if you have never been in such a position. The simple answer is fear. Fear of humiliation, fear of not being believed and victim shaming, fear of retaliation, fear of losing an opportunity, fear of losing a job, and fear of personal safety. Most importantly, the overwhelming experience of shame and guilt for not having fought back. Victims often blame themselves first.

So when Weinstein's defense counsel, Donna Rotunno, recently stated that she would not put herself in a position to be assaulted, we reflected on her statement. What if your male superior asked for a meeting at a bar, a restaurant, or in his hotel room before dinner emphasizing that he will not take no for an answer? What if the meeting concerned your career? What if you have no reason to believe you are about to be sexually assaulted? The motivation of the perpetrator may not always be crystal clear. Is it that women should not dress in nice or shapely clothes or wear makeup? Women should not be alone with a man, whether for a meeting (regardless of location—such as a hotel room), at a lunch, or for a drink? Women should not study aerospace engineering, work in male dominated fields, or take a job where she might be the only female? Do all of these situations put a woman in a position to be sexually assaulted? Is that what Rotunno meant?

We hope not. Women have the right to make all of these choices and no man, whether in the past or now, has the right to sexually assault or harass a woman. It is against the law. Pure and simple. Any sexual act requires affirmative, verbal consent, regardless of prior or subsequent consensual acts.

#changetheculture #MeToo #TimesUP #harveyweinstein #respectwomenatwork #womeninbusiness #justiceforwomen

HARVEY WEINSTEIN - THIS IS WHAT JUSTICE LOOKS LIKE: 20 +3 YEARS!

Mon, 16 Mar 2020 20:07:57 GMT

Harvey Weinstein - This is what justice looks like: 20 + 3 years!

�� Wednesday, Harvey Weinstein was sentenced to 23 years in prison , almost the max sentence he was facing for his recent convictions in February. “…a first conviction…not a first offense,” noted NY County Supreme Court Justice James Burke referencing the many other alleged victims of Weinstein. Defense attorneys pleas for a maximum sentence of 5 years due to Weinstein’s 67 years of age and deteriorating health fell on deaf ears.

In February, the Manhattan jury found Weinstein guilty of a first-degree criminal sexual act (for forcing oral sex on “Project Runway” production assistant Miriam Haley in 2006), and third-degree rape (for having nonconsensual sex with then-aspiring actress Jessica Mann in 2013). Weinstein was acquitted of the most severe charges of predatory sexual assault which would have carried possible life sentences.

After the sentencing hearing ended, defense attorney, Donna Rotunno, took the mic in front of the court house. She was visibly angry, calling the sentence obscene, stating she believed the judge caved to outside pressures and the #MeToo movement. She claims Mr. Weinstein never had a fair shot and hopes the appellate court will see the ruling as a miscarriage of justice. According to his defense team, Weinstein’s sentence reflects one that was 3 times the state average for NY for similar offenses—in their view extreme and unjust. Counsel's main defense was that the evidence, including the amicable relationships between the accusers and Weinstein after the alleged assaults (including further intimate acts), does not match the claims of the accusers of what allegedly happened in those rooms. Simply put, that the victims did not behave like regular assault victims. The evidence in defense counsels’ mind supported that there was reasonable doubt of Weinstein’s guilt.

This case raises a number of issues which we will address in several blogs: Why did the victims continue relationships with Weinstein after the alleged assaults? Why is there a perception that these women 'did not behave like typical assault victims'? Why did it take them years to report Weinstein's alleged assaults? Why are women coming forward today when they did not feel comfortable coming forward for years and even decades? Why did these women put themselves in precarious positions risking sexual assault to begin with?

Harvey Weinstein will continue to claim his innocence. He will not apologize. Makes sense since his appeal is planned for this coming July, 2020. In the interim, he will be facing another criminal trial in LA.

After defense counsel left the mic post sentencing hearing, Gloria Allred stepped up to the mic and held up a sign. It read: " This is What Justice Looks Like: 20 + 3 years" .

There is nothing more to say. Let’s all be reminded what the victims in this case suffered for the many years after they were assaulted. Today these victims have some justice for themselves and for all victims of sexual assault. Fame and power are no longer a shield against prosecution and serious jail time.

This has been long time coming. Now maybe violators will think twice.

#changetheculture #MeToo #TimesUP #harveyweinstein #respectwomenatwork #womeninbusiness #justiceforwomen

Sexual Harassment Prevention Training: States Update Requirements [From TrainingIndustry.com]

Tue, 18 Feb 2020 20:28:41 GMT

SEXUAL HARASSMENT PREVENTION TRAINING - UPDATES ARE A MUST!

Check out what the experts have to say in a recent article from TrainingIndustry.com titled Sexual Harassment Prevention Training: States Update Requirements " - the experts include the Authors of Play Nice !

Sexual harassment has become an all too common narrative in today’s work environment, as organizations fail to create respectful workplaces for employees. As a result, more states are doubling down on sexual harassment prevention training requirements for employers. Recently, these states include New York, California, Connecticut, Delaware, Illinois and Maine. Let’s evaluate these new training requirements and determine how learning and development (L&D) can best implement them.

Quote from the article: "Brigitte Gawenda Kimichik, JD, a recently retired commercial real estate finance attorney and author of “ Play Nice: Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace ,” says these requirements are “definitely the approach” for combatting harassment in the workplace. If organizations don’t train employees “up and down,” it’s more likely that harassment and/or other uncivil behavior will occur."

Finding Love at Work - Good Idea?

Fri, 14 Feb 2020 16:53:25 GMT

Finding Love at Work - Good Idea?

I was recently asked at a symposium whether it was OK to date a colleague. I stopped in my tracks and was surprised anyone would even ask that question.

Relationships at work are risky and can put both parties in a difficult position, especially if the male is a superior. What if the relationship began as an affair? How would that impact the career and reputation of the female? Who do you think would have to leave the job if the company had an anti-dating or anti-nepotism policy? The superior or the subordinate? Who would be more valuable to retain at the company? Whether or not there is such a policy, if you date a colleague, matters become complicated if you break up. Why put yourself through the drama of possibly being fired or, after a breakup, suffering through the painful aftermath where both of you work?

Our best recommendation is don’t do it. The risks are far too great.

Yet despite the risks, recent statistics advise that more than half of employees have engaged in a romantic relationship with a colleague. We all know couples who met at work and have successful long-term relationships or are married. Inevitable if you are spending most of your waking hours at work with folks who have common interests.

If you believe you have found your soulmate, please keep the following tips in mind: First , research your company’s policies on dating and reporting requirements to HR. If there are strict policies, you should follow them. Maintaining a secret relationship is difficult and might ultimately risk your careers. Second , before you start dating, have open and candid conversations regarding your expectations and potential consequences to your career, including after a break up. Ask yourselves: Will dating this person affect your professional goals, reputation and contribution to your company? How will you be perceived? Dating a colleague might raise eyebrows with your other team members. Whose interests will you put first? The team’s or your individual interests? Your professionalism may be called into question. What if you break up? Will the other person hold a grudge and potentially ruin your career? What would it be like to work with an ex day-to-day? Will you be able to work together and remain professional and civil without bad feelings and without affecting the morale of those around you? Third , don’t use company property, funds or technology to express your feelings—and, don’t conduct your office romance at the office (especially office parties where alcohol is flowing). Keep your relationship private and off of social media. If your relationship is all work related you may find you have nothing outside of work in common and your relationship may fizzle in short order. Finally , avoid dating a superior or subordinate. Many companies in light of #MeToo prohibit such relationships. Your colleagues may interpret any promotions, raises, and higher profile work assignments (regardless of whether they are well deserved), as “preferential treatment” and negative—a conflict of interest in violation of company policy, putting not only the subordinate's job, but also the superior's job on the line. The CEO of McDonald’s recently lost his job for dating a subordinate, the company citing “It is not appropriate to show favoritism or make business decisions based on emotions or friendships rather than on the best interests of the Company.”

If the company’s leadership determines trouble is brewing and there is potential risk for a sexual harassment suit if the relationship turns sour, who do you think is likely to lose their job? "Even today a boss-subordinate relationship is viewed as strategic on the woman's part," says Rebecca Chory, Ph.D. , who studies workplace interactions at Maryland's Frostburg State University. Yes, there may be exceptions (McDonald’s CEO), however, they are few and far between.

Avoid the pitfalls of a #MeToo scandal. Take the time to hit that pause button and evaluate your work culture for toxic masculinity, sexual harassment, and racism. Educating employees and company leaders regularly and effectively regarding prevention is likely to engender a more healthy workplace of dignity and respect and ultimately improve the bottom line concerning health-related costs and profitability. Try our book, "Play Nice - Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace," which we wrote to educate both women AND men— on the importance of drawing a firm line of respect and professionalism, and speaking up as a bystander. Intervention by men is especially important. Men will listen to men.

Dating in the Workplace - 7 Important Common Questions

Fri, 14 Feb 2020 16:34:14 GMT

Dating in the Workplace - 7 Important Common Questions

In this TED Series piece, Organizational Psychologist, Amy Nicole Baker, shares her take on Dating in the Workplace and answers 7 important common questions. Take a look!

DON'T BE A BYSTANDER!

Thu, 30 Jan 2020 16:21:38 GMT

Don't be a bystander. Step Up!

How many times have you witnessed inappropriate behavior? Check out this great video on why not to be a bystander with the "Stand Up. Don't Stand-by" Campaign from ' No More '.

Help #changetheculture at work and socially, because #TimesUp on #MeToo and tolerating bad behavior!

MAKE SEXUAL HARASSMENT TRAINING A REGULAR EVENT!

Thu, 30 Jan 2020 13:33:25 GMT

Make Sexual Harassment Training a Regular Event!

Are your sexual harassment policies and procedures merely window dressing?

One executive told us recently his company would not have them if not required by law. In his view his company did not need them. “No one has filed a complaint and the company had to pay a lot of money for an HR person. Waste of money!” If you agree with him, you have only underscored the importance of the need for training, not only for yourself as an executive but for all employees—from the very top down.

Sexual harassment can have a devastating impact on the bottom line profitability of your company. The mental and physical impact of sexual harassment on your employees can result in reduced productivity and an increase in health issues (including for depression, anxiety, and post traumatic stress disorder), an increase in absences, sick leave, health insurance costs, and ultimately turn over of employees. The increase in turn over will risk fostering a hostile work environment and create reputation issues in the open market which might affect recruiting of new employees and executives, customer relations, future business, financing and investor potential. One single lawsuit or scandal could drain your company’s resources! We read that CBS’s stock dropped 6% during the Les Moonies scandal - an alleged $1.4 Billion in value! Fox News supposedly spent more than $101 Million in 9 months on sexual harassment matters, including relating to Roger Isles and Bill O’Reilly. When sponsors started dropping the Bill O’Reilly Show, he was released by the the network.

Educating employees and company leaders regularly and effectively will likely promote a more healthy workplace of dignity and respect and ultimately improve the bottom line. For such bad behavior to change, there must be consequences and they should be wildly known. Committing to transparency will help #changetheculture to a more healthy and prosperous environment, free from #abuse. #TimesUp.

Let’s #playnice at work and stop and #workplacesexualharassment. For more information on our book “ Play Nice - Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace ,” please join us at www.thesandboxseries.com

REFOCUS AND ELIMINATE SEXUAL HARASSMENT WITH COMPANY TRANSPARENCY!

Wed, 29 Jan 2020 21:15:32 GMT

Re-Focus and Eliminate Sexual Harassment with Company Transparency!

A number of high profile companies have vowed to change their ways after being tagged for #MeToo violations, including Google, Microsoft, UBER, CBS, Fox News and McDonald’s. In today's #MeToo environment, a company may find that actively combating sexual harassment in a vocal and transparent manner and imposing prompt proper discipline might have a far greater positive impact on the company’s reputation internally with respect to morale and employee production and in the community with respect to attracting business, new customers and talented employees.

If companies commit to transparency across all industries, it will make it much more difficult for violators to continue bad behavior regardless of their influence and value to their company. Violators must suffer appropriate consequences that have impact and deter future sexual harassment. Simply "releasing" a perpetrator will not necessarily prevent him from continuing his behavior at a new company.

Transparency means more frequent education regarding policies against sexual harassment, holding leadership accountable for failure to report and investigate, promptly punishing bad actors to illustrate real consequences, and regularly and openly reporting on the types and frequency of claims, ultimate outcome of investigations and resulting punishment, if applicable. Committing to transparency will make a huge difference in the fight against sexual harassment and developing a culture of respect.

What will you do to be #beupstanding to help #changetheculture for an environment without #abuse and #workplacesexualharassment?

#TimesUp. Let’s #playnice. For more information on our book “Play Nice - Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace,” please join us at www.thesandboxseries.com

WHAT HAPPENED TO HARVEY WEINSTEIN?

Tue, 07 Jan 2020 16:04:22 GMT

What happened to Harvey Weinstein?

Weinstein’s long anticipated rape trial commenced in NY yesterday morning with preliminary hearings and jury selection to begin today.

He faces felony charges on two counts of predatory sexual assault, two counts of rape, and one count of a criminal sexual act relating to two alleged incidents and two victims, one who remains anonymous. If found guilty, he is facing life in prison. With many of his 80 plus accusers in the audience and frenzied international media coverage, his trial is promising to stir up deep emotions and renewed outrage at what Weinstein got away with for decades.

His third round of defense lawyers will claim Weinstein may have had affairs, cheated on his wife and lied—making him immoral and reprehensible, but he never raped anyone and all of his encounters were consensual. They will introduce evidence that the alleged victims in this trial maintained friendly relations with Weinstein long after the supposed assaults. The prosecution will be permitted to introduce prior bad act witnesses to help establish a pattern of behavior (which proved successful in Bill Cosby’s trial). Picking a fair and impartial jury will prove challenging. In a recent Newsweek article , his lead defense attorney, Donna Rotunno claims “that the media has tainted the jury pool by spreading their pre-trail judgment across America and the world.” In a recent CBS interview , she claimed further that the #MeToo movement “allows the court of public opinion to take over the narrative” and “puts you [the defendant] in a position where you [the defendant] [are] stripped of your rights.”

What about the 80 plus victims? Just today news broke that Weinstein is facing more charges of rape and sexual assault in LA County and that a warrant may have been issued for Weinstein’s arrest.

In case you are feeling sorry for Weinstein, please don’t! In an exclusive interview with The Post, Weinstein complains that despite the many allegations, he is not being remembered for his charity work or “for all he did professionally for women” throughout his career, including a lucrative contract he gave Gwyneth Paltrow, one of his 80 plus accusers.

He continues to deny all of the sexual assault allegations and claims his work has been forgotten. Rebecca Rosenberg at Vox reports on his interview.

The Importance of Company Holiday Parties!

Mon, 23 Dec 2019 15:45:46 GMT

Holiday parties are a great way to show your appreciation for all of the hard work throughout the year and to celebrate the successes of your company. The idea is for your employees to relax, have fun, and recharge their loyalty and work spirit for the new year. Remind them why they chose to work for your company! Many of your employees have not had an opportunity to mingle with the executives and spouses may not know the bosses and colleagues that occupy their loved ones during working hours. Make this a fun event for all and take the time to say “thank you” for all of their valuable contributions.

If you are an executive, visit with as many employees as possible. Your attention and show of appreciation will foster trust, help keep your teams motivated and engaged, and improve morale. Your conversations might even encourage candor about needed improvements for a better work culture.

If you are an employee, don’t miss this opportunity to get to know upper management. Putting a face to a name and getting to know your bosses can help your career progression. Attending will emphasize that you care about the company and your job.

Most importantly, however, Play Nice. Be respectful, mindful of the pitfalls of too much alcohol, and dress appropriately. If you are management, take precautions against bad behavior. Please see our other article “Holiday Parties - Are you taking precautions?” on this important topic.

For more, visit us at www.thesandboxseries.com. #MeToo #TimesUp #respectwomenatwork #humanresources #beanupstander

Work Holiday Parties - Don't Cancel. Take Precautions and Play Nice!

Mon, 16 Dec 2019 23:29:56 GMT

Holiday parties can often lead to inappropriate behavior, especially where alcohol is served. Greetings can include unwelcome hugs and kisses and excessive alcohol consumption often leads to uncomfortable sexual remarks, propositions and touching. In light of #MeToo, some employers are skipping their holiday parties for fear of sexual harassment claims. Others are not serving alcohol. That is a shame. Many employees look forward to end of the year celebrations as a reward for a job well done by all.

Don't cancel. Have the party and use the event as an opportunity to educate your employees and executives about proper behavior and take proper precautions. How else will we change our work culture?

Organize responsible chaperones for the event (who should not be drinking and who can intervene with respect to any inappropriate behavior). Include a few off-duty police officers if needed. Consider inviting spouses to minimize bad behavior and any temptation for employees to “hook up”. Announce in advance that you expect all attendees to follow the company’s code of conduct, dress and sexual harassment policies, and to drink responsibly since this is a work event. Emphasize that any violator will be appropriately disciplined, including termination. Offer discounts for Uber and local hotel stays. If you are concerned about excess alcohol consumption, consider providing drink tickets for the first few drinks and a cash bar thereafter, or limit the time of the party to 2 to 3 hours. Offer plenty of hors d’oeuvres and whatever you do, avoid hanging a mistletoe!

Remind your employees that the goal is to have fun—but not too much fun. If you do end up with a sexual harassment claim, remember that office parties at off site locations are considered part of the workplace and any such claim should be handled in strict accordance with your company's sexual harassment policies and procedures. Employees should be reminded that they are encouraged to report any inappropriate behavior and that retaliation for reporting will not be tolerated.

For more, visit us at www.thesandboxseries.com . #MeToo #TimesUp #respectwomenatwork #humanresources #beanupstander

Sexual Trauma Affects Company Profitability

Mon, 18 Nov 2019 16:30:42 GMT

Sexual Trauma Affects Company Profitability

Sexual harassment can have a devastating impact on the bottom line profitability of your company. The mental and physical impact of sexual harassment on victims can result in reduced productivity and an increase in health issues (including for depression, anxiety, and post traumatic stress disorder), an increase in absences, sick leave, health insurance costs, and ultimately turn over of employees. One of the few available studies on the topic is dated as far back as 1988 and involved personnel, HR directors, and equal-opportunity offices representing over 3.3 million employees and 160 companies. The study concluded that “a typical Fortune 500 company with 23,750 employees lost $6.7 million a year because of absenteeism, low productivity, and staff turnover.”

These effects, however, do not even consider the economic, career, and long-term mental-health consequences victims experience once they leave their job, either due to intolerable sexual harassment or due to how the company mishandled a harassment claim.

For victims in other industries, consequences can be much more dire. For example, experiences of sexual trauma that occur during military service are associated with risk factors for depression, substance use disorders and suicide. Military Sexual Trauma – A Risk Factor for Suicide research indicates that women veterans have higher rates of depression than non-veteran women and a shocking 250% higher suicide rate than civilian women.

Educating employees and company leaders regularly and effectively regarding sexual harassment prevention are likely to engender a more healthy workplace of dignity and respect and ultimately improve the bottom line with respect to health related costs and profitability. For bad behavior to change, there must be consequences and they should be wildly known and enforced. Committing to transparency will help #changetheculture to a more healthy and prosperous environment, free from #abuse and #workplacesexualharassment.

#TimesUp. Let’s #playniceatwork. For more info on our new book “ Play Nice - Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace ,” please join us at the www.thesandboxseries.com .

Dating at Work - Violating Company Policy?

Tue, 12 Nov 2019 21:02:22 GMT

Dating at Work - Violating Company Policy?

Steve Easterbrook recently lost his job as McDonald’s CEO for having a consensual relationship with a subordinate employee in violation of company policy. According to the company’s policy “It is not appropriate to show favoritism or make business decisions based on emotions or friendships rather than on the best interests of the Company.”

Regardless of the actual terms of the policy, the concern is the risk of potential problems that might arise if the relationship ends badly, including harassment, retaliation and legal liability to the company. As the explosion of the #MeToo movement has emphasized, where there is a power imbalance, the executive’s perception of what constitute’s consent, may not be shared by the subordinate. Recent news involving Matt Lauer and Placido Domingo are prime examples.

NBC's Release Falls Short

Thu, 07 Nov 2019 21:55:33 GMT

This is a subtitle for your new post

Sandbox News: NBC Agrees to Release Employees from NDAs -

Instead of committing publicly not to enforce non-disclosure provisions based on sexual harassment or assault claims, NBC is requiring that their law department be contacted for any releases. Although the gesture might be commendable and NBC may be looking to know more about these claims in advance of the public, the requirement to contact legal first is likely to perpetuate fear and silence of survivors.

NBC - Just make the commitment - publicly. Support your women!! It is time for our laws to change!

Publisher's Weekly Placement: Play Nice: Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace

Mon, 14 Oct 2019 21:38:03 GMT

PUBLISHER'S WEEKLY PLACEMENT - PLAY NICE: PLAYGROUND RULES FOR RESPECT IN THE WORKPLACE!!

"In the heat of today's #MeToo Movement, on of the most hotly discussed topics is sexual harassment in the workplace. Play Nice is an indispensable resource - both for empowering those who wish to reassert their boundaries and for teaching allies how to help. "

Opera Singer - Placido Domingo

Mon, 14 Oct 2019 20:42:59 GMT

Opera Singer Placido Domingo - stands now accused of inappropriate sexual behavior towards multiple singers and a dancer spanning three decades, some of whom claim they were too afraid to report his conduct and in some cases reluctantly agreed to intimate encounters for fear of ruining their careers. Officials with the Los Angeles Opera are planning to engage outside counsel to investigate the allegations. Domingo, now 78, has been general director of the LA Opera since 2003. Denying the allegations, Domingo said in a statement to the AP "Still, it is painful to hear that I may have upset anyone or made them feel uncomfortable — no matter how long ago and despite my best intentions," he said. "I believed that all of my interactions and relationships were always welcomed and consensual." “However, I recognize that the rules and standards by which we are — and should be — measured against today are very different than they were in the past.”

Placido - the standards were always the same. They were just not enforced with proper consequences.

SEXUAL HARASSMENT STATISTICS

bkimichik@gmail.com (Brigitte Kimichik) — Mon, 23 Sep 2019 22:18:22 GMT

Eight in 10 Women Say Sexual Harassment, and a Third Say Sexual Abuse.

More than half of U.S. women have experienced unwanted and inappropriate sexual advances from men, three in 10 have put up with unwanted advances from male co-workers and a quarter have endured them from men who had influence over their work situation.

Those results in a new ABC News-Washington Post poll show the vast extent to which women encounter inappropriate sexual conduct from men across U.S. society, marking the allegations against movie mogul Harvey Weinstein as merely the latest public eruption of a far broader and deeper problem.

As can be expected, emotions were also polled as to how the victim's felt after their experience and they fell into shame, guilt, intimidation, and anger.

It's time we establish some new rules for the workplace!

Sexual harassment: How it stands around the globe

Sexual Harassment is a global problem and it will take fundamental changes in social norms surrounding gender relations. Here are recent statistics from around the world. Sexual harassment: How it stands around the globe .

Fast Food Industry

The statistics of sexual harassment in the fast food industries are especially alarming. If women complain, they often face negative consequences from their supervisors or employers, including loss of preferred hours and their jobs. Hart Research Associates issued key findings in October of 2016, stating in part that two in five women have been subjected to sexual harassment on the job.

Domestic Violence

Every day, more powerful men are facing allegations of misconduct in the working environment. The spectrum of bad behavior ranges from no touching, to unwelcome advances (such as groping, unwanted touching, and forced kisses), inappropriate sexual language, and oral sex. The statistics are overwhelming and affect almost all work industries. More troubling are the national statistics of domestic violence. Check out this recent survey from the National Domestic Violence Hotline.

Steve Brock Places Play Nice on September's Recommended Amazon Business Book List

Mon, 23 Sep 2019 21:35:49 GMT

STEVE BROCK PLACES PLAY NICE ON SEPTEMBER'S RECOMMENDED AMAZON BUSINESS BOOK LIST!

Play Nice: Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace "Takes things back to basics by applying the rules we all learned on the playground and applying them to the modern day workplace. "

Steve Brock's Business Book of the Week on Amazon: Play Nice

Mon, 16 Sep 2019 21:32:30 GMT

Steve Brock's Business Book of the Week on Amazon: Play Nice

Play Nice: Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace

"For empowering those who wish to reassert their boundaries and for teaching allies how to help in this fight."

Coors Light Commercial - Hit or Miss?

Mon, 09 Sep 2019 17:28:32 GMT

What are your thoughts on this video? Are we taking our power back or incentivizing men to buy women Coors Light for other reasons?

Movers & Shakers - 2 Remarkable Sisters

Sat, 07 Sep 2019 17:39:02 GMT

Movers & Shakers - A remarkable achievement for women in the military: Maj. Gen. Maria Barrett and younger sister Brig. Gen. Paula Lodi are the first two sisters in the Army's 244-year history to become generals! �� Women account for approximately 16% of the military's active-duty force of 1.3 million and only 69 of the 417 generals are women. Our sincerest congratulations to these remarkable women.

After #MeToo - Changing Human Behavior

Wed, 28 Aug 2019 17:41:25 GMT

AFTER #METOO - THE IMPORTANCE OF CHANGING HUMAN BEHAVIOR

Taking action which exacerbates the problem is not productive. For example, have you heard that new workplace rules could ban handshakes or touching of any kind? Some companies are even recommending no more one-on-one meetings with women behind closed doors, lunches, or mentoring.

We do not believe this type of extreme action is helpful or realistic. We have also heard that some men have decided to limit their interactions with women or to avoid them all together. In an online report in Mississippi Today, by Larrison Campbell dated July 15, 2019, Rep. Robert Foster and former Supreme Court Chief Justice Bill Waller, Jr have stated that they would not be alone with a woman not their wives, even if in a professional context, citing “common sense” and the Billy Graham Rule. The late evangelist allegedly stated “that a man cannot be alone with a women to whom he is not married, including in a professional context.”

These “protective” positions are counter-productive and harmful to the social and professional growth of women working in male dominated environments. More importantly, these measures and statements only underscore the lack of understanding of the problem of sexual harassment and what is needed to eliminate bad behavior.

What about making an effort to understand what constitutes sexual harassment and committing not to engage in such behavior going forward? What about encouraging employees to no longer tolerate such behavior as bystanders and teaching them how to intervene or report if necessary?

To all men - we need your help and commitment to change human behavior and the culture of sexual harassment. To the companies we work for - we need transparency and more focus on the human elements of behavior. Only then will you hold yourselves accountable to #changetheculture to a more healthy and prosperous environment, free from #abuse and workplacesexualharassment.

#TimesUp. Let’s #playniceatwor k. For more on this and related topics, check out Play Nice - Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace , and join us at the www.thesandboxseries.com .

Mark Halperin - Deserving of Forgiveness?

Sun, 25 Aug 2019 17:44:14 GMT

Mark Halperin - was fired late 2017 from NBC and MSNBC after two dozen women accused him of sexually inappropriate behavior and assault during his tenure at ABC more than a decade prior, “including rubbing his erection on them through his pants” (which Halperin denies). Not quite 2 years later, he is resurfacing with a political news letter, as a guest on a SeriusXM talk show, and a new book deal with Regan Arts to be published in November. “How to Beat Trump: America’s Top Strategists on What it Will Take,” for which Halperin interviewed 75 top Democratic Strategists, including David Axelrod and Donna Brazile.

Has @MarkHalperin atoned for his #abuse and #sexualharassment in the #mediaworkplace? The 75 Democratic strategists who are helping Halperin to rehabilitate his career, including the publisher, think so. NBC, MSNBC, CNN and ABC have all stated that Halperin will not be welcome to promote his book.

What do you think the �� to forgiveness is for Halperin? ��

Proper atonement‼️His original statement of apology to the media was lacking. �� He apologized but continued: “some of the allegations that have been made against me are not true,” making his apology vague and calling some of his accusers liars. ��An apology should acknowledge personal responsibility and avoid denials or minimizing . Admitting to the behavior and apologizing directly to his accusers by name is a good first start.

Having ‘admonished’ him publicly is not enough either. In the eyes of many, he must properly atone and redeem himself. How? First, he should admit his behavior publicly and apologize to his accusers and reference them by name. Emphasize that they are not liars and do so without qualification. �� He must understand after proper counseling what constitutes ‘unwanted physical contact’ and why his behavior constituted sexual harassment and was destructive to his victims. He should show real remorse and share what he is doing to rehabilitate himself. Communicate that he is facing the consequences and is learning from his mistakes. �� Given his notoriety he should commit to tell his story and educate others what behavior is not acceptable. His words will have impact.

Finally, he could then ask for forgiveness, although he should not expect to be forgiven for a long while. Halperin - remember what damage you caused to the women you harassed. ��They will be living with the trauma for the rest of their lives. Your words of sincere apology and commitment to educate others will set your victims on a good path of recovery. Proper redemption will be tough but the road to redemption might make you a better person. Forgiveness simply because of passage of time is assuredly not sufficient.

You must hold yourself accountable to #changetheculture to a more healthy and prosperous environment, free from #abuse and workplacesexualharassment. #TimesUp. Let’s #playniceatwork. For more on this and related topics, check out Play Nice - Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace, and join us at the www.thesandboxseries.com.

Movie - Bombshell - The Downfall of Roger Ailes

Sun, 25 Aug 2019 17:34:57 GMT

Bombshell, in theaters in December, chronicles the downfall of Roger Ailes and the scandal involving Fox News - starring John Lithgow as Roger Ailes, Nicole Kidman as Gretchen Carlson, Charlize Theron as Megyn Kelly, and Margot Robbie as a fictional Fox News associate producer named Kayla Pospisil.

The Five Puro Sisters

Fri, 23 Aug 2019 17:30:38 GMT

Check out these five awesome Puro sisters from Utah who each serve in the military with very different career paths!! From oldest to youngest, Tiara Puro is an operations officer at the Naval Air Station Fort Worth Joint Reserve Base, Major Tambra West, is the G3 resource integration manager in the Utah National Guard, 1st Lt. Tayva Lab is a Cyberspace Operations Officer in the Utah Air National Guard and a system structural engineer working on the F-16 Falcon at Hill Air Force Base, Staff Sgt. Ty’lene Puro is an admin assistant in the Utah Army National Guard just returning from the Middle East, and Lt. j.g. Taryn Puro is a Naval Flight Officer stationed at the Naval Air Station in Jacksonville, Florida. She flies the Boeing P-8 Poseidon. We appreciate and thank these five extraordinary women for their service!

WHERE IS THE EDUCATION FOR OUR JUDGES?

Fri, 23 Aug 2019 17:20:35 GMT

Superior Court Judge James Troiano in New Jersey came under fire for denying a request for a defendant to be tried as an adult, stating that a teenager accused of rape deserves leniency because he “came from a good family” and “he is clearly a candidate for not just college but probably for a good college.” “Prosecutors,” the judge said, “should have explained to the girl and her family that pressing charges would destroy the boy’s life.” According to prosecutors, the 16-year-old defendant recorded himself sexually assaulting a visibly intoxicated teenage girl at a party—and days later, sent the recording to several friends stating “When your first time having sex was rape.” The judge’s ruling was over turned by an appeals court with forceful admonishment, clearing the way for the case to be moved to a grand jury for consideration of the charges. If the teen is indicted, he will be tried as an adult.

In an update, New Jersey’s Supreme Court has terminated Judge Troiano’s temporary assignment on the bench and the judge has officially resigned. NJ Superior Court Judge John Russo Jr. is facing similar disciplinary action for asking a woman during a 2016 hearing for a restraining order against a man who sexually assaulted her if she could have “closed her legs” to prevent the sexual assault and was later taped joking about the exchange with court staff.

And - now you can add a female judge to the list of alleged violators. Superior Court Judge Marcia Silva (Middlesex County, NJ) rejected trying another 16-year-old sexual assault defendant as an adult, finding that the defendant’s alleged rape of a 12-year-old girl was not “especially heinous or cruel.” Her ruling was also over turned with admonishment and she is facing possible disciplinary action.

In a rare but laudable move, the Chief Justice of the New Jersey Supreme Court has issued (as of July 17) a state wide directive to all Superior Court judges, Tax Court judges, Appellate Division judges, and Supreme Court justices, requiring a mandatory recess “for the purpose of conducting a mandatory full-day educational conference focusing on sexual assault, domestic violence, implicit bias and diversity.” The directive goes on to require regular follow up, including local training sessions, judiciary staff training, an online training portal allowing the public to provide anonymous feedback on their court experiences, and ongoing assessment of performance.

This order for mandatory education should be implemented across the country to all courts to #educatejudges regarding #MeToo and #changetheculture, because #Time’sUp on tolerating#abuse and #workplacesexualharassment.

For more, please read our new book Play Nice - Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace and our website www.thesandboxseries.com

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A REVIEW OF INDUSTRIES: THE MILITARY

Fri, 16 Aug 2019 17:26:34 GMT

The U.S. military is the largest employer in the world, with approximately 1.3 million active workforce members, but women comprise only 15% of military personnel. In the Marine Corps, women account for the smallest number of personnel, only about 9% , compared to just under 19% for the Air Force and 18% for the Navy. Women are difficult to recruit due to the military’s toxic misogynist, macho culture. If you need a refresher, " misogyny " is defined by Wikipedia as "the hatred of, contempt for, or prejudice against women or girls. Misogyny can be manifested in numerous ways, including social exclusion, sex discrimination, hostility, androcentrism, patriarchy, male privilege, belittling of women, violence against women, and sexual objectification." In the military, mental and physical training and the bonding rituals are male-oriented and often extreme to promote the ideal warrior mindset, which clashes with the traditional male view of women as the weaker sex. I grew up in the military as the daughter of an officer of NATO Intelligence and Member of the German General Staff, and the servicewomen I met were highly competitive, intelligent and tough, both mentally and physically. They were role models for me and I admired their sense of confidence and strength. I witnessed how some of these service women were treated by their male counterparts and I understood early on that serving in the military as a woman required extraordinary patience, resilience, and strength. Regardless of her ability to perform and compete in training, the traditional male view of women as a weaker gender prevails, and women who enter the armed forces continue to be unfairly tested by their male counterparts and superiors.

Sexual harassment and assault, and retaliation for reporting it, remains a serious problem in the military. After a series of sexual misconduct scandals rocked the military in 2013, the Joint Chiefs of Staff were summoned to give testimony before Congress on the issue of whether the military justice system was too antiquated to handle the problem of sexual harassment and assault. The joint chiefs acknowledged the problem had been neglected for years and promised to devote new resources to training and law enforcement. The Pentagon released a new report in April 2018, noting that the number of sexual harassment complaints jumped by 16 percent, and the number of sexual assault complaints jumped from 6,172 in 2016 to 6,769 in fiscal year that ended September 30, 2017, a 10% increase—the highest number since the United States military began tracking reports more than a decade ago. The increase in reports is claimed to be due to broader confidence in leadership and response action to hold violators accountable. However, only one in three victims file claims, and most cases are handled quietly, behind closed doors .

The 2018 Pentagon report also noted an increase in complaints of retaliation from 84 in 2016 to 146 in 2017. " Fear of ostracism and retaliation remains a barrier to reporting sexual assault or filing a sexual harassment complaint," the report said, adding that many women fear it will damage their reputations and haunt them for the length of their careers. Martha McSally, the freshman Republican senator from Arizona appointed to take the seat of the late John McCain, made a stark disclosure of her own earlier this year while testifying at a hearing of the Senate Armed Services Subcommittee on sexual assault in the military. McSally, a retired Air Force colonel and first woman to fly a fighter jet and command an air campaign in Afghanistan after 9/11, while serving her country with distinction, was raped by a superior officer who she did not name. At the time, she did not report her assault because she did not trust the system and was ashamed. Successful female recruiting will require the military to overhaul its training to become gender-neutral and allow sex crimes to be reported and investigated outside the chain of command, in military or civilian courts, with a transparent, consistent process—to avoid potential conflicts of interest and to foster impartiality. It’s fair to ask how far along we’ve come towards that goal and the answer is, not far and definitely not far enough.

A 2015 case involving Maxwell-Gunter Air Force Base is another indicator of lack of progress. In that case, it didn’t matter to the commanding officer that a young female officer was repeatedly sexually harassed by a superior through inappropriate texts, emails, and videos (including video recordings of himself masturbating) repeatedly demanding sex, all of which were provided during the investigation. It didn’t matter to the commanding officer that Air Force investigators confirmed her accounts when she finally reported the abuse. Despite the fact that military law allows for court-martial and a sentence of up to seven years for this type of abuse, that same law also permits the commanding officer to determine if a criminal case should be pursued, and the commander here, declined. Instead, he decided to impose non-judicial discipline for conduct unbecoming of an officer. After subsequent review, the alleged violator was demoted one rank and forced to resign—with a full pension.

In an effort to remove the prosecution of felonies, including sexual assaults, from commanders (who are often perpetrators themselves) to experienced military prosecutors, Senator Kirsten Gillibrand re-introduced the Military Justice Improvement Act . According to Gillibrand , sexual harassment and assault remain pervasive in the military despite years of efforts and minor reforms, and “Top officials in the military continue to assert that they alone will fix this, but little has changed.” After receiving support of a bipartisan majority of Senators for the second straight Congress, the act was filibustered again .

Another, possibly more, shocking story broke in January 2017. Marine veteran Thomas Brennan, who runs a nonprofit news organization called “The War Horse,” uncovered scandalous activity on the “Marines United” Facebook page first launched in 2015, with membership limited to only male Marines, Navy Corpsmen, and British Royal Marines. When the page was exposed, it featured hundreds of posts in which female Marines were disparaged, made the subject of vile and sexually inappropriate comments, and were displayed in explicit pictures, sparking outrage. A joint military task force comprised of Air Force, Army, Coast Guard, Marine and Navy investigators was formed in short order to jointly investigate the culture that gave rise to the Marines United Facebook posts, to develop and implement corrective changes to policies and procedures, and to modify education and training to help prevent any such activity in the future. According to reporting one year later, few changes have been made to reform the misogynist culture. Students at the Coast Guard, Army, Navy and Air Force academies are all experiencing an increase in sexual harassment and unwanted sexual contact ranging from unwanted touching to rape according to recent surveys . A recent probe involves the USS Florida and the discovery of a sexually explicit list (rumored to be a "rape list") compiled by Navy submarine sailors. The commanding officer was fired and other sailors terminated or subjected to administrative punishment after the probe concluded safety concerns to female sailors were not addressed after the discovery of the list and " l ewd and sexist comments and jokes were tolerated, and trust up and down the chain of command was nonexistent ." In another Navy case , an investigation was launched this past month after a hidden camera was discovered in the women's bathroom aboard the USS Arlington. This same ship came under fire when a 2015 report disclosed that sailors spent 10 months filming and sharing shower changing room videos of its female crew members (without their knowledge). According to a recent Rand Corp. study ordered by the Defense Department, of all of the military branches, women and men at Navy installations (and specifically ships) are at greater risk for sexual assault. The reasons for this risk disparity were not reviewed.

New York's New Child Victim's Act

Wed, 14 Aug 2019 17:32:28 GMT

NY’s Child Victim’s Act (passed in January) - went in to effect Wednesday which removes the state’s statute of limitations on sex crimes against children for one year beginning today, and allows a victim until the age of 55 to pursue legal action against an alleged perpetrator, regardless of when the abuse occurred, and regardless of whether the alleged abuser has died. More than 100 lawsuits have been filed in 11 counties , mostly targeting Catholic dioceses in New York by alleged survivors of sexual abuse, including one by a 36-year-old female who claims she was abused and then raped by a priest who was then working at the Church of St. Catherine of Genoa in Manhattan. Many more cases are expected against Catholic dioceses, the Boys Scouts of America, the estate of Jeffrey Epstein, and others. The Catholic Archdiocese of NY has already filed a lawsuit against more than two dozen insurance providers to ensure they are covered during the onslaught of legal cases.

Lessons: Bystanders - We Need Your HELP

Mon, 12 Aug 2019 16:00:49 GMT

Bystander Intervention Can Stop Sexual Assault Before It Happens

Bystander intervention is especially important for male colleagues. Read the full story here . For more information on this topic, please check out Play Nice .

Men - How Can you Help?

Jason Katz provides the male’s perspective on why it is important for men to engage in bystander intervention in this article and video provided by CBS News .

Bystander Intervention and Teens

It is important to talk about examples at work and at home. Help your teens understand how they can identify a troubled situation and how they can help. TeenVogue came up with a step-by-step guide on how to handle certain situations. Please share this with your teens. Read the full story.

Jeffrey Epstein is dead - Assisted Suicide?

Sun, 11 Aug 2019 20:46:14 GMT

Early yesterday morning, Epstein was found hanging in his cell at the Federal Metropolitan Correctional Center in lower Manhattan and has died—just a few weeks after his first attempt at suicide on July 23rd and placement on suicide watch.

Questions are now swirling how he could have been left in his cell without proper supervision and how it was possible for him to cause his hanging. Apparently Epstein only stayed on suicide watch for a few days. Did Epstein receive assistance from a fellow inmate or someone within the detention facility? Conspiracy theories are circulating especially in light of news breaking this past week that hundreds of potentially damning documents were about to be released in a previously sealed defamation case involving Epstein’s former associate and accused “Madame” Ghislane Maxwell. In that case, Maxwell was accused by one of Epstein’s then underaged victims (Virginia Roberts Guiffre) to have coordinated young girls for Epstein’s sex trafficking. The documents to be released were rumored to disclose other high profile co-violators allegedly involved in Epstein’s sex trafficking scheme (including men Guiffre claims she was forced to have sex with by Epstein and Maxwell). A portion of those documents were released Friday and we now know some of those alleged co-violators include Prince Andrew, former New Mexico Gov Bill Richards, former US Senator George Mitchell, and attorney Alan Dershowitz (who represented Epstein in his Florida criminal case in 2007), all of who vehemently deny these allegations.

The timing of Epstein’s death appears curious and it is an obvious question to ask: Who might benefit from his death? Whether Epstein killed himself out of guilt or desperation given his dire outlook of life in prison or his suicide was staged, it is tragic that he will not be required to face his accusers in court. The Inspector General is now investigating potential failures of the federal correctional facility, (home to other high profile prisoners, including notorious drug lord “El Chapo,” Bernard Madoff (for running the biggest Ponzi scheme in US history), and Ramzi Ahmed Yousef (who masterminded the 1993 World Trade Center bombing), to determine the circumstances of Epstein’s death and who, if anyone, may have assisted Epstein. Although the case against Epstein personally may now be over, it is hopefully not over for those who enabled Epstein (including employees who coordinated and paid the girls) and for any alleged co-conspirators and participants in Epstein’s sex trafficking scheme. The FBI and our federal prosecutors have much more work to do. It is curious that Epstein continued to be embraced by elite society even after his conviction in Florida and time served in jail. It is time to dig deeper and hold those who participated and helped Epstein accountable, regardless of their political position, power or wealth. The victims deserve justice even if Epstein is no longer on earth to endure proper consequences for his sexual abuse of underaged girls. At minimum, the victims will likely be able to continue and file new civil suits against Epstein’s estate.

Movers & Shakers - Emma Watson

Thu, 08 Aug 2019 20:33:58 GMT

Emma Watson partners with #TimesUP UK to launch a Sexual Harassment Hotline in England and Wales to provide free expert advice on sexual harassment and how to exercise your legal rights to file claims with your employer and with the Employment Tribunal.

Are You A Bystander or An Enabler?

Thu, 08 Aug 2019 17:18:19 GMT

ARE YOU A BYSTANDER OR AN ENABLER?

What do Jeffrey Epstein (Millionaire Financier), R. Kelly (Singer Icon), Harvey Weinstein (Hollywood Director), and Bill Cosby (Actor) all have in common? Setting aside their alleged predator status for a moment, more alarming might be how each of them was able to get away with their sexual abuses and assaults for many years without serious consequences.

How many people stood by and witnessed their behavior as bystanders, including acquaintances, friends, family and employees? Worse, how many people did they have on their payroll or in their extended social circles who assisted or enabled or were complicit in coordinating women to be violated, and in the cases of R. Kelly and Epstein, underaged girls.

Each of these alleged perpetrators had money, power and influence to force compliance and possibly even participation. There were likely witnesses, travel coordinators, drivers, housekeepers, assistants handling money payments, and other bystanders part of each alleged perpetrator’s employment and social circles.

Not taking action, speaking up, or reporting allowed these men to create an ever-expanding web of new victims who could have been helped. Did these bystanders, enablers, or participants view their role as adding value to their relationship with these alleged perpetrators or were they worried if they did not comply they would lose their jobs, financial support or influence? Were they aware that as an enabler or participant, they might have violated the law?

In R. Kelly’s case, according to the LA Times , his former manager and another employee have been included as defendants in the indictment charging R. Kelly with child pornography, conspiracy and obstruction of justice.

As a bystander, how far will you go to compromise your own values and ethics? How far will you go as an employee?

What will you do today to #beupstanding to help #changetheculture for an environment without #abuse and #workplacesexualharassment?

RESPECT PROGRAM - AN ALLIANCE INITIATIVE FOR MODELS

Tue, 06 Aug 2019 20:37:02 GMT

Victoria's Secret: More than 100 models have signed a petition urging Victoria’s Secret to protect its models from sexual harassment and abuse. Sparked by recent allegations that Jeffrey Epstein (who self-proclaimed to be a scout for Victoria’s Secret) and certain photographers used their positions to abuse vulnerable aspiring models, the Model Alliance sent an open letter to the company urging it to join the RESPECT Program—an Alliance Initiative for Models, which requires “employees, agents, vendors, photographers and other contractors to follow a code of conduct” of respect, provides access to a “confidential complaint mechanism, with swift and fair resolution of complaints and proper consequences for abusers,” and a robust training program. The letter adds “joining the RESPECT Program … would go a long way in helping [the modeling industry] chart a new path forward.” We applaud these efforts. #Time4RESPECT.

What will you do to help #changetheculture for an environment of #respect and free of #abuse and #worksexualharassment?

Women in the dark ages - Saudi Arabia

Fri, 02 Aug 2019 20:40:28 GMT

An important step in the right direction for Saudi women: After lifting a prohibition on women driving in June of 2018, Saudi Arabia is changing it’s “guardianship system” to allow adult women to obtain passports, travel, run their own businesses, and work for equal pay to men, without first securing the permission of a male relative or “guardian.” The Saudi Prince Mohammed appears determined to bring his country out of the dark ages and change the deep routed culture of treating women as inferior.

Preston Hollow Life Play Nice Book Launch Party

Wed, 31 Jul 2019 21:20:43 GMT

Preston Hollow Life covers the Play Nice Book Launch

Brigitte Kimichik, JD and her co-author, JR Tomlinson, recently met guests … for the book launch of Play Nice: Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace . Play Nice

tackles sexual harassment in the workplace. For more, please visit our website at www.thesandboxseries.com .

Be sure to read the full article in the July 2019 edition of Preston Hollow Life .

What about #MeToo and Russia?

Wed, 31 Jul 2019 20:24:18 GMT

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The #MeToo movement may finally be gaining traction in Russia, although historically, those who come forward are punished. In January of 2017, Vladimir Putin signed a law decriminalizing domestic violence that does not cause serious injury. Broken bones, a concussion, or other serious injuries requiring hospitalization are required for a criminal offense. A huge setback for women in Russia putting victim’s lives at yet greater risk. Worse, the bill was proposed by a woman senator who stated publicly that women “don’t take offense when they see a man beat his wife” and that “a man beating his wife is less offensive than when a woman humiliates a man.”

Our hearts and fierce support go out to the women of Russia who are taking on the government and joining #MeToo. #TimesUP on tolerating any abuse against women!

CEOMoney: Mutual Respect Powers Sexual Acceptance to PLAY NICE!

Tue, 30 Jul 2019 21:24:10 GMT

Mutual Respect Powers Sexual Acceptance to PLAY NICE in the sandbox of the workplace and socially!

Drawing from personal experiences Brigitte and J.R. share a powerful provoking message encouraging us all to PLAY NICE at work and at play…together. No matter if you are a woman or man, cooperation in the “sandbox” lifts up the team with advanced and prolonged achievements. Brigitte and J.R. want us to know that we can accomplish anything if we learn to work and PLAY NICE together.

The full article appeared on the now deleted site WFN1's CEO Money Blog: Mutual Respect Powers Sexual Acceptance to PLAY NICE!

The “Glass Ceiling”: Is use of the term outdated?

Tue, 30 Jul 2019 20:27:08 GMT

I read an interesting article from the NY Times today. Why are our female presidential candidates not using this specific term to rally their supporters to help them break a very important ‘glass ceiling’? One theory is that this term is outdated and if used may reinforce existing prejudices. New terms are now surfacing: “Shake the table,” “Break things,” “Persist,” and “Build your own house”—but will they make a difference? Here are a few I would use: "Building your own boardroom," "Reshaping the Executive Suite, "Breaking barriers," "Sitting at the head of the table," and yes, I would continue to use the very important and powerful term "Break the Glass Ceiling" until sky's the limit in terms of possibilities!

Men Suffer Sexual Harassment Too

Sun, 28 Jul 2019 20:30:01 GMT

Men Suffer Sexual Harassment Too - Example: TV Show "Criminal Minds"

TV Show "Criminal Minds" - Former “Criminal Minds” employee files a lawsuit in California Superior Court against former director of photography, Greg St. Johns, for alleged “continuous sexual harassment” claiming inappropriate touching of his private parts, discrimination, retaliation, failure to investigate, and emotional distress.

The lawsuit includes, among others, the owner networks, for allegedly allowing St. Johns to continue working on the show despite multiple abuse allegations, including a State of California probe. According to a Variety article published last fall, multiple staffers described a toxic environment where St. Johns groped and physically threatened or fired those who complained. Human resources allegedly agreed to look in to the complaints on multiple occasions but did nothing.

#TimesUp! Human resources and management should take action immediately to help #changetheculture and stop #workplacesexualharassment!

Keith Raniere - Cult of Sexual Harassment?

Mon, 01 Jul 2019 20:20:45 GMT

Keith Raniere - Ending a six week trial, jurors in Brooklyn NY’s Federal District Court, returned guilty verdicts on all federal charges against Raniere, including racketeering, sex-trafficking, and child pornography, and he could now face up to life in prison. His group NXIVM founded in 2003 claimed to be a place of empowerment and self-help for women. Instead, prosecutors set out to prove that NXIVM was a cult like organization, created “to satisfy the defendant’s desire for sex, power and control,” treating women like sex slaves, employing forced labor, submission and obedience methods to degrade and humiliate his victims, and branding rituals to burn the letters “KR” in to private areas of their bodies. Allegedly, he would brain wash his victims and use explicit photos, damaging information, and extortion to ensure their obedience. Sentencing is scheduled for September 25, 2019. For more on this story, read NYT's article " Nxivm’s Keith Raniere Convicted in Trial Exposing Sex Cult’s Inner Workings. "

A Review of Industries: Music

Mon, 01 Jul 2019 19:42:32 GMT

A REVIEW OF INDUSTRIES - MUSIC

Until recently, the music industry appeared unaffected by the sweeping revelations of the #MeToo movement as only a few music executives made headlines. Among the first was hip- hop mogul Russell Simmons (co-founder of the hip-hop label Def Jam, home to LL Cool J and the Beastie Boys), accused by eleven women (to date) of alleged sexual harassment, assault, or rape. Next is L.A. Reid , former Epic Records president and former judge on the “X-Factor”, forced to leave the Sony Music label after a coworker complained she suffered several instances of sexual harassment by Reid. Charlie Walk, president of Republic (Records) Group and former judge on Fox reality show “The Four”, also faces sexual harassment allegations from a former employee, Tristan Coopersmith, who worked under Walk fifteen years ago at Sony Records. Coopersmith describes her alleged treatment in an open letter to Walk, which includes lewd comments and inappropriate touching. She was finally forced to leave: “After a year of working in fear, I finally called deep on my courage and shared my story with your counterpart. He wasn’t surprised. He told me that there was nothing I could do about it, but that he would help me coordinate a graceful exit if I wanted. I was paid to keep my mouth shut and my reputation intact. …” Walk denies the allegations: “There has never been a single HR claim against me at any time during my 25-plus year career, spanning three major companies. I have consistently been a supporter of the women’s movement and this is the first time I have ever heard of this or any other allegation — and it is false.”

Walk, initially placed on leave by Republic Records pending the outcome of an ongoing investigation, has left the label . He was a 19-year veteran of Sony Music before he joined Republic as Executive Vice President in 2013, later becoming Republic’s President in 2016. Following Coopersmith’s open letter, four more women have come forward with accounts of sexual harassment by Walk while working with him, including sexually explicit messages, exposing his penis, and inappropriate touching in private and during work meetings.

In another development, Jeff Fenster –Warner Bros. Records Executive Vice President of A&R (“Artists and Repertoire”, i.e. artist scouting and recruiting)–is leaving that label following the company’s investigation into a former employee’s allegations of sexual misconduct. The company released a statement saying the company was “grateful to a former Warner Bros. Records employee for coming forward to raise these concerns with us” and that they had “appointed an independent investigator to conduct a thorough, in-depth investigation, as a consequence of which [they] are taking the appropriate disciplinary actions.” Warner Bros. further said the investigation’s findings “helped us identify areas where we can improve the enforcement of our policies and bolster our efforts to maintain a safe, respectful, and professional environment for all of our employees.”

The music industry may have a worse reputation than Hollywood when it comes to sexual harassment and abuse. Think about fans who will “do anything” to meet their idol musician, or the talented, up-and-coming stars looking for mentorship and a “manager” without the experience to know what that relationship should entail and what is appropriate. What about sexually charged musicians and band members who spend months on the road? If you have new music, what will it take for the radio stations and DJs to play your record? To keep a musician on your record label, what will you do to keep them happy? Will you ignore their bad behavior and how far will you let it go?

According to a recent article, sexual misconduct and statutory rape with minors “was not only permitted but glamorized in music.” The article notes David Bowie, guitarist Jimmy Page, and Ted Nugent as some of the alleged violators who engaged in inappropriate relationships with minors. A recent example involves R&B legend R. Kelly, who reportedly mentally and physically abuses young talent for his own personal sexual gain, keeping them captive in a cult-like environment and allegedly dictating every aspect of their lives. Numerous legal challenges over the years have failed to find Kelly responsible for any sexual harassment or assault. According to reports, he was tried in an Illinois court in 2008 for making child pornography but, after a six-year legal battle, he was eventually acquitted of all fourteen charges. He also settled multiple civil lawsuits involving sexually inappropriate behavior out-of-court for cash in exchange for the victims’ signatures on non-disclosure agreements ensuring their silence. In 1994, R. Kelly married his then 15-year-old protege, Aaliyah (the marriage certificate incorrectly stated she was 18), meanwhile producing an album called “Age Ain’t Nothing But a Number.” The marriage was annulled the same year. In one case, parents were trying to get their daughter to leave Kelly’s home but because she was over 18 and unwilling to leave, there was nothing the parents could do . Now R. Kelly is back in the news. In January 2019, Lifetime premiered a several part show called Surviving R. Kelly that reviewed his alleged mental and physical abuse of women, including minors. As we note in this industry review, R. Kelly is reported to have repeatedly mentally and physically abused young talent for his own personal sexual gain, keeping them captive in a cult-like environment and allegedly dictating every aspect of their lives and may be continuing to do so today. [Source: Janice Williams, “ R. Kelly’s Alleged Victims: A Timeline of Sexual Misconduct Allegations Against the R&B Singer. ” Newsweek. Published online October 24, 2017.]

After the documentary aired, TMZ reported that the Fulton County District Attorney’s office opened an investigation and reached out to survivors from the Lifetime premier . R. Kelly was charged with 10 counts of aggravated criminal sexual abuse (three of the victims were minors at the time of the alleged events) and was briefly jailed for missing child support payments . In a more bizarre twist of events, after being charged, R. Kelly appeared in his first interview with CBS’s Gayle King about his new legal troubles, where he appeared emotionally distraught, combative and angry, portraying himself as the victim of a social media smear campaign. The interview was notably parodied on “ Saturday Night Live .” To make things even worse for R. Kelly, as of May 31, he is now facing 11 new counts , four of which are for aggravated criminal sexual assault—a Class X felony that carries a sentence of up to 30 years—involving alleged forced sexual encounters with a minor in 2010.

Rolling Stone noted in a recent article investigating Country Music Radio’s climate of harassment and sexual misconduct that few are willing to speak openly for fear of retaliation. Rolling Stone released a statement saying they “wanted to show what it’s really like for young artists going out into the world where something is expected of them” and to explore the widespread belief that “if you want your record played, this is what you do” (quoting Nashville creator Callie Khouri in her interview with Rolling Stone Country). Acquiescing to the demands of a producer, label representative, or radio station, for example, is not an option if you want your music played, and if you watched the 2018 Grammy Awards, you might have been brought to tears by Keisha’s performance of “Praying” reflecting on her tortured relationship and lengthy legal battle with her former producer Dr. Luke:

“... And you said that I was done

Well, you were wrong and now the best is yet to come

'Cause I can make it on my own, oh

And I don't need you, I found a strength I've never known

I'll bring thunder, I'll bring rain, oh

When I'm finished, they won't even know your name …”

Kesha sued Dr. Luke for damages for the alleged abuse and to get out of her record contract so she could work with other labels. According to reports, the lawsuit alleged “sexual assault, sexual harassment, gender violence…[and] infliction of emotional distress” among other things. Singer Janelle Monae made a powerful introduction of Kesha’s performance at the 2018 Grammys , referencing the “Time’s Up” movement launched by a group of celebrities in January 2018 and announced in The New York Times: “We come in peace, but we mean business. And to those who would dare try to silence us, we offer you two words: Time’s Up! We say time’s up for pay inequality, time’s up for discrimination, time’s up for harassment of any kind, time’s up for abuse of power. We also have the power to undo the culture that does not serve us well. It’s not just going on in Hollywood, it’s not just going on in Washington, it’s going on in our industry.”

In another well-publicized case , Taylor Swift was sued by a Denver-based country DJ after he was fired for groping her behind under her skirt during a photo opportunity. Swift decided to counter-sue for a symbolic $1.00 to make a point: “I figured that if he would be brazen enough to assault me under these risky circumstances and high stakes, imagine what he might do to a vulnerable, young artist if given the chance." The DJ’s claims were all shot down by the jury and the diva won her single buck in a victory that was infinitely more valuable.

Movers & Shakers: New York State Senate

Sun, 23 Jun 2019 20:11:13 GMT

The New York State Senate - passed new legislation that, among other things, could lower the bar for what qualifies as sexual harassment in the workplace. Previously, the sexual harassment was required to be “severe or pervasive” in nature to be considered sexual harassment. This standard has now been eliminated, opening the door to lesser violations, such as inappropriate comments or groping. “One act against a woman is more than enough, it should not have to be defined as pervasive to rise to the level of being a problem,” said Sheri L. Scavone, executive director of the WNY Women’s Foundation .

Last year, NY passed legislation banning most nondisclosure and mandatory arbitration agreements for harassment complaints and requiring government employees found responsible for harassment to refund any taxpayer-financed payouts. Current legislation is pending to extend statute of limitations for second- and third-degree rape.

Don't Be a Bystander!

Sat, 22 Jun 2019 22:04:54 GMT

As the #MeToo movement dominated the news in the fall of 2017, the stories seemed endless and widespread across every industry. Hollywood bigwigs who sexually assaulted hopeful actors in exchange for opportunities. Young musicians’ careers held hostage until they gave in to the sexual demands of record label execs. Business executives wielding their power to intimidate and sexually harass subordinates in return for promises of promotion and raises in pay. An Olympic team doctor charged and convicted after years of sexually assaulting young gymnasts under the guise of “customary” treatments. Revelations about a U.S. Senate nominee and former Alabama Chief Justice who allegedly pursued, dated, and assaulted teenage girls.

As the headlines tumbled out at a rate almost impossible to keep up with, you may have been thinking what we were thinking: Who stood by and let this harassment and abuse go on, unchecked?

Olympic doctor Larry Nassar victimized young athletes for years; school officials, coaches and parents (allegedly?) turned a blind eye. In 1994, 27-year old R&B prince R. Kelly, who’s faced many allegations and charges of sexual misconduct, married a then-15-year-old Aaliyah with the help of a phony birth certificate that said she was 18. According to a December 2017 Daily Beast article , this barely scratches the surface of R. Kelly’s alleged litany of sexual misconduct and that of numerous others in the music industry, but such behavior appears to be widely accepted. What about actor and comedian Bill Cosby and well-known director Harvey Weinstein? They have now been exposed for their assaults against women, many of which were simply looking for an opportunity in movies and television.

So, it seems many people did stand by, despite knowing what was happening. In an April 2018 interview with the Sydney Morning Herald , 31-year-old British actor Kit Harington (of HBO’s Game of Thrones) said sexual assault in show business is a widespread, open secret. He specified actor Kevin Spacey, who has faced multiple allegations of sexual misconduct toward younger male actors over his long career : “Kevin Spacey was the head of the Old Vic [an iconic and prestigious theater in London] for many years – we're discovering the allegations made against him. Within British theatre, there's been a problem for many years. This is something that has been going on forever, and not just in the States.”

In response to revelations about Spacey’s behavior, the Old Vic opened a line of communication for anyone who had complaints they felt they’d been unable to raise in earlier years. Artistic Director for London’s Royal Court Theatre, Victoria Featherstone, told the BBC: "We have a culture across society which has accepted this ... it's deep in our DNA to accept these behaviors. And it's only now that we're finding the vocabularies and the confidence and the means to have these conversations."

In fall 2017, a former production assistant for “House of Cards,” the Netflix hit in which Spacey was the lead, told CNN that five years earlier, he’d reported to a supervisor on the set that Spacey was sexually harassing him. Per the alleged victim, the supervisor’s solution was to simply not permit him to be alone with Spacey. The harassment stopped for a while—until Spacey actually assaulted him. Per the CNN article, the production assistant wasn’t the only one with complaints about Spacey’s behavior.

The Spacey allegations have deeper roots than the Old Vic or “House of Cards”.

In October 2017, actor Anthony Rapp spoke up about a 1986 incident in which Spacey tried to sexually assault him at a party where Rapp, then 14, was the only child actor present. However, this wasn’t the first time Rapp spoke up about Spacey; a lawyer once told him a case against Spacey wasn’t worth pursuing; he confided in multiple friends; and, when he told the Advocate about the incident in 2001, the publication redacted Spacey’s name . By 2001, Spacey was an Oscar-winning, critically acclaimed actor—accolades that only increased in the years to come.

Spacey’s critical success seems to have been more important to producers and directors than the allegations and rumors that have long swirled around him. On the set of “House of Cards”, the crew was aware of and reported his behavior. Unfortunately, the bystanders chose to tolerate Spacey’s harassment—and even assault—of their coworkers rather than take action. This begs the question, if the crew and its supervisors had taken the issue to upper management, would their complaints have fallen on deaf ears?

If the secret of sexual misconduct in industries like show business isn’t such a secret after all, and if people are now opening up about it more, then what should bystanders (both men and women) do about it? Admitting there’s a problem isn’t enough; men and women cannot simply stand by while their colleagues and peers are harassed and assaulted. Men, particularly, can be a powerful force in the fight against sexual harassment and misconduct and should not be idle bystanders. If, as a bystander, you witness bad behavior—physical, verbal, or emotional—toward a woman or a man, it’s critical that you say something immediately. Men are more likely to listen to other men. If you are a male bystander, let the other guys know their behavior is inappropriate and disrespectful and is likely violating company policy; if your company has ill-defined or no rules about workplace conduct, let the guys know they’re probably violating laws that govern workplaces. Women can do the same. Using humor is helpful in these scenarios and is more likely to highlight the intended communication—as long as the offenders don’t come away thinking it was all a big joke. It’s crucial to communicate that although you might be using humor to diffuse and address the situation, it’s actually a serious matter. If the abuser is in a larger group and you don’t want to “call him out” in public, try to remove the victim from the situation by pulling the victim from the group to discuss an issue or to show the victim something, and discuss the inappropriate behavior with the violator privately (especially if you are a peer or a subordinate). However, if you are a superior or a peer, we believe “calling him out” in front of the group will have more of an impact and will send your intended message not only to the offender, but also to the group. Be bold!

In any case, let the victim know she or he is not alone. Whether the victim decides to formally complain or not, tell her or him that you will be an ally—that may simply entail supporting the victim if she or he files a complaint, or may involve you talking to the offender(s) again or to his/their boss. If the offender(s) continues the misbehavior, encourage the victim to go to human resources and offer to accompany her or him. Follow the victim’s lead on what she or he wants done.

If you are a male, have open dialogues regularly with women so you can get guidance on how to help. Ask your female colleagues if they’re currently experiencing sexual harassment or misconduct in the office. Find out if they believe the sexual harassment training offered at work is thorough and enforced. Extend this conversation to other colleagues, your friends, and your family members so you can find out about their experiences and achieve an even more thorough understanding of what you can do to help fight sexual misconduct.

As Harington told the Sydney Morning Herald, “the doors have been blown open” on the issue of sexual harassment and misconduct. The #MeToo movement has encouraged women to come forward and go public about their experiences.

Fall on the right side of history: don’t be an idle bystander. Say something and do something, whether man or woman. Time’s Up!

Midwest Book Review

Sat, 15 Jun 2019 21:27:37 GMT

Midwest Book Review: Business Shelf

"Exceptionally well written, organized and presented, " Play Nice: Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace " is a timely and critically important contribution to our current and on- going national dialogue over how to deal with sexual harassment in the workplace."

UT’s Alcalde Play Nice Book Review

Wed, 01 May 2019 20:53:02 GMT

University of Texas publication, Alcald e , reviews Play Nice: Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace

" Play Nice arms readers with simple tools to help combat sexual harassment and discrimination in the workplace. Learn to communicate confidently to stop harassing behavior and make an impression that will not wreck careers. It also introduces rules and takeaways to help navigate the close-quarters sandbox within the workplace playground."

- Alan Cundy

Elect Not To Support Harassers - Take Action!

Sun, 10 Mar 2019 17:02:15 GMT

Many universities are revoking their honorary degrees given to alleged sexual harassers, including University of Pennsylvania’s honorary degrees given to Bill Cosby and Steve Wynn. Cosby received his honorary degree in 1990 and Wynn received his in 2006.

Social Media and Campaigns

Sun, 03 Feb 2019 20:13:36 GMT

Social media and movement campaigns can influence action to be taken against alleged perpetrators of sexual harassment and assault. R. Kelly is a current example.

a. #MuteRKelly Movement - This movement seeks to hold R. Kelly accountable for his alleged sexual misconduct against black girls and women, urging artists, radio stations, record companies, streaming platforms, and concert venues to cut ties with the alleged predator.

b. Time’s Up Campaign - The Women of Color committee within Time’s Up has demanded appropriate investigations and inquiries into the allegations of R. Kelly’s alleged abuse made by women and their families for more than two decades, including allegations of sexual coercion, leading a sex cult, and physical abuse.

Rallying the Troops - The Women of Nike

Tue, 29 Jan 2019 18:31:30 GMT

After experiencing years of sexual harassment with little to no corrective action after complaining to HR, a group of women inside Nike’s Beaverton, Oregon, headquarters had finally had enough and started a small revolt. Complaints included gender discrimination, disrespect at group meetings, exclusion from advancement in certain divisions, exclusion of women from the inner circle of male decision makers, and lack of female leadership. After surveying their female peers, the results in the form of completed questionnaires landed on the desk of the company’s CEO. The result? A series of male executive departures followed, including the President of the Nike brand, Trevor Edwards, and his lieutenant, Jayme Martin, who ran Nike’s global business.

Status Quo Supporters

Tue, 29 Jan 2019 18:29:10 GMT

In certain industries, the #MeToo Movement may not be having much impact. Here is an opinion piece regarding Hooters and their alleged business model. Will the environment for women change at Hooters?

The Importance of Speaking Up - Gymnastics and Sexual Harassment

Sun, 20 Jan 2019 17:03:11 GMT

We watched in awe this week as victim after victim gave their impact statement. We'll let Aly say the rest.

A Review of Industries: Tech

Thu, 17 Jan 2019 18:38:10 GMT

Example: UBER

Uber is hailed as one of the most successful startup tech companies of its time in Silicon Valley. Uber’s creators developed an app that shook the taxi industry, allowing customers to call a ride with ease and efficiency and allowing drivers to work and earn extra income on a convenient, flexible schedule. Uber has an estimated 16,000 employees worldwide .

Despite its impressive success, Uber also had a tumultuous 2017 with conflicts plaguing the company including battles with city regulators and the U.S. Department of Justice, lawsuits filed by Google’s parent company claiming technology trademark violations, rape and sexual assault allegations against some of its drivers, drivers’ classification and benefits, and claims by competitor Lyft of engaging in tactics of sabotage. Uber’s legal troubles arguably only exploded, however, when Susan J. Fowler, an Uber engineer, published a blog post February 19, 2017 about her treatment at Uber. In her blog, she exposed that Uber suffers from a workplace culture unfriendly to women, causing a shake-up of the tech industry. Fowler joined Uber as an engineer in November 2015, and after beginning her training she was almost immediately propositioned for sex by her manager through a string of messages over company chat—clearly inappropriate behavior for a manager, especially using company resources. Despite her prompt reporting to Uber’s HR department, HR did not take any serious disciplinary action, and instead, even though HR acknowledged the manager’s behavior was inappropriate, Fowler was repeatedly told all the company could do was give the offender a stern warning. According to Fowler’s blog, upper management said the offender was a “high performer” and they didn’t want to ruin his career over his first offense or over an innocent mistake on his part. HR advised Fowler to either move teams to avoid interacting with him or to stay—a scenario in which she would likely suffer from poor performance reviews, which HR did not view as retaliation (since she had the option to change teams).

Let’s take a quick pause here. Uber is a modern-day, state-of-the-art company, populated with a generation of well-educated young people and their HR department was not taking any action? Fowler soon found out from other women at the company that her old manager had previously harassed other female engineers, that such behavior was continuing, and HR and upper management knew about and chose to ignore it. HR had lied, and so had upper management, about Fowler’s case being a “first offense”, and Fowler had no choice but to leave the company after her efforts for promotion were thereafter blocked despite her stellar performance reviews and work accomplishments.

So Fowler left the company and published her blog and the fallout was both fast and furious. Uber hired former U.S. Attorney General Eric H. Holder Jr. to investigate and make recommendations on how Uber should address and remediate its workplace culture. The investigations of more than two hundred sexual harassment and other workplace misconduct claims resulted in the firing of twenty employees and the reprimand of more than 40 additional employees. Uber’s board of directors promptly adopted Holder's lengthy recommendations , including: new performance reviews to hold senior leaders accountable, increased diversity, enhanced oversight, expansion and training of the HR department, extensive revamping of sexual harassment policies and procedures, reformation of Uber’s cultural values, implementation of more rigorous restrictions on use and consumption of alcohol at company events, restrictions regarding romantic relationships between employees, removal of employee job transfer barriers, and employee retention initiatives. Soon after that, Uber’s CEO Travis Kalanick agreed to take a leave of absence of undetermined length after pressure from Uber’s largest investors. It was an incredible fall from grace for “tech visionary” like Kalanick, whom, according to The New York Times, “had transformed the global transportation industry with Uber’s ride-hailing service and pushed the company’s value to nearly $70 billion, making it the most highly valued startup in the world.”

Following Fowler’s post, two women engineers filed lawsuits against Uber in California in October 2017, alleging gender and race discrimination for receiving unequal pay and being denied promotion. The cases became a class-action, which has now been settled for $10 million to compensate about 285 women and 135 men of color for financial and emotional harm. The settlement, which has been submitted for court approval, sets aside $1.9 million of the funds to compensate sexual harassment victims who file detailed reports on how they were mistreated.

Uber is not the first Silicon Valley or startup tech firm to face allegations of sexual harassment and discrimination, however, despite popular perception. It’s been reported , and backed by a number of studies, that Silicon Valley “maintains a reputation for inhospitality to women, people of color, [and] anyone who did not go to an Ivy League school…” One such study "found that women leave tech jobs at twice the rate men do” and “half or more [women] reported being asked to do menial tasks men aren’t expected to, dealing with unwanted sexual advances and feeling they don’t have the opportunities as their male counterparts.”

Another recent case includes UpLoad VR, where a former director of Digital and Social Media filed a gender discrimination and wrongful termination lawsuit against its founders. She alleges a rampant “boy’s club” environment “marked by rampant sexual behavior and focus” (including setting up an office with a bed and calling it the “kink room”), and that women are paid less than their male counterparts and given menial tasks. The company denies these allegations.

In another case, one of the fastest growing online lenders (called SoFi), is facing several lawsuits alleging “frat house culture,” “rampant sexual activity” happening in “bathrooms and parked cars,” and that subordinates are being told that to get promoted, “personal mentorships” with senior employees are required. After CEO Mike Cagney was added to a lawsuit as a defendant for allegedly making sexual comments about female employees and for allegedly fostering a culture that allowed sexual harassment to continue, he announced plans to resign. In a statement he cited “HR-related litigation and negative press have become a distraction from the company’s core mission”. Mounting lawsuits and the subject matter could have an impact on the company’s reputation and future growth plans and any third-party vendor, customer, lender, or regulator will likely take a closer look to determine whether this company poses a risky investment.

So, why is the bad behavior of “high performers” tolerated? Is the dollar value of their work performance worth more than the risk of potential sexual harassment liability to the company? What was the ultimate impact of Fowler’s blog on Uber, whether financial or otherwise? We understand from reports, that Uber lost some market share to Lyft and there have been financial losses, but what about Sofi and its plans to grow its lending platform? Regardless of how these companies may be publicly interpreting their financial reports, we hope that Uber’s and Sofi's plights have given the tech industry a renewed focus to take decisive action to improve their current culture of discrimination and sexual harassment and to move towards achieving diversity.

Members of HR departments are often uncomfortable disciplining a high performer and/or too fearful of losing their own jobs to do so, especially if the alleged violator is in a position of power, an executive, or popular with the company. Managers and HR departments need proper training on how to communicate with, handle, and punish perpetrators in a swift and consistent manner regardless of their position. The implementation of zero-tolerance policies against any form of sexual harassment and discrimination are a prerequisite for a chance at efficiently discouraging bad behavior, regardless of the level of violation and regardless of the status of a perpetrator as a high performer.

Drastic changes are both needed and critical. To this day, women are still reluctant to report their abusers and with excellent reason. It does not matter whether the abused female is a low-ranking staffer, a contributing associate, an employee with rank, or a well-known personality. If the abuser has a superior position, is a high performer, or is a person with influence, he or she has the power to make or break their subordinate’s career, and sometimes even those of their female peers. If you dare to report the abuser, you are likely to suffer retaliation in the form of negative work reviews, loss of social group interaction, discrimination, public humiliation and harassment, loss of work opportunities, demotion, denial of bonuses and raises, assignment of menial tasks, transfer to a lower-income job, being fired or laid off, or being forced to leave directly or (often) indirectly.

The tech industry is seeking to actively make changes concerning sexual harassment and diversity, including a bill seeking to prohibit sexual harassment in the venture capital industry explicitly between entrepreneurs and potential investors, relationships not currently covered by employment laws. However, progress is slow. According to recent reporting, the National Venture Capital Association—comprised of industry leaders—spent the greater part of 2017 working with law firms, HR specialists, and venture partners to establish guidelines and best practices for education and training around sexual harassment, including suggested policies and procedures. However, the results of the association’s efforts have not been released so it’s unclear what progress has even been made.

What will you do today to be #beupstanding and help #changetheculture for an environment without #sexualharassment and #abuse? #TimesUp. Let’s #playnice. To learn more, check out “Play Nice - Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace,” and join us at www.thesandboxseries.com .

COMPANIES MAKING POSITIVE CHANGES IN LIGHT OF #METOO

Wed, 16 Jan 2019 18:25:52 GMT

Gillette – Gillette’s new ad “We Believe: The Best Men Can Be” — a change to it’s original slogan “The Best Men Can Get”, has raised controversy and many more dislikes than likes on YouTube. In Play Nice we talk about how important it is to raise our children to treat others with compassion, to be respectful, and to stand up for those who need help. Education starts at home, with our children. Gillette’s ad raises awareness to this very subject and challenges the morality of men acting sexist, behaving like bullies, taking no action to help as a bystander, and dads accepting that “Boys will be boys”. It does not demand that men be less masculine. The ad takes a very important stand and reminds us that our boys are watching and will be our men tomorrow. We need men to engage in this very important discussion as bystanders, colleagues, friends, fathers, brothers. We need men to help eradicate sexual harassment and assault for good.

Microsoft, Uber, Lift and Google – Making Controversial Contract Provisions Optional

Until the law changes, companies could make “forced arbitration” and “nondisclosure agreements” optional. For example, on December 19, 2017, Microsoft announced that it was ending its requirement for forced arbitration agreements with employees who make sexual harassment claims. Uber has followed suit, deciding that it will no longer require its users or drivers to go through arbitration if they are claiming assault or harassment. Nor will it require them to sign nondisclosure agreements. They have also agreed to be transparent about sexual assault data.

Facebook; New York City – Publishing Company/Government Efforts to Set an Example

Publishing your sexual harassment policy gives notice to the public that you are taking the issue of sexual harassment seriously and invites commentary regarding any needed improvements. Setting an example might cause others to follow suit. Facebook, for example, has posted its sexual harassment policy publicly . New York City has enacted one of the most expansive packages of workplace anti-sexual-harassment laws in the nation, applicable to all New York City workers in the public and private sectors, even those working for small employers with fewer than five employees. The legislation includes a prohibition against nondisclosure and mandatory arbitration clauses in sexual harassment cases and requires all companies to enact written antiharassment policies and annual training effective October 9, 2018.

A REVIEW OF INDUSTRIES: HOLLYWOOD

Wed, 16 Jan 2019 17:59:25 GMT

HOLLYWOOD AND SEXUAL HARASSMENT

Late last 2017, Harvey Weinstein, arguably the most influential producer in Hollywood, was exposed for engaging in decades of sexual harassment against women , from employees, models, hopeful actresses, to well-known actors. Weinstein is known for his many Oscar-winning films, including “Pulp Fiction,” “Life is Beautiful,” “Good Will Hunting,” and “The King’s Speech,” and responsible for launching the careers of many famous actors and directors with his company, Miramax. When Weinstein’s indiscretions hit the headlines, he had already reportedly settled at least eight claims over the years, including with actress Rose McGowen in 1997, and Ambra Battilana, an Italian model and aspiring actress, in 2015 (after grabbing her breasts and reaching under her skirt, she called the police).

Weinstein released a statement following the explosive news, which read in part: “I came of age in the ‘60s and ‘70s, when all of the rules about behavior and workplaces were different. That was the culture then…. I have since learned that is not an excuse… I appreciate the way I’ve behaved with colleagues in the past has caused a lot of pain, and I sincerely apologize for it.” Since his statement, his list of accusers who have spoken publicly of varying degrees of sexual harassment and assault include more than 80 women, including actresses Angelina Jolie, Gwyneth Paltrow, Ashley Judd, Lucia Evans, Annabella Sciorra, and Daryl Hannah. It has become apparent that Hollywood knew of Weinstein's indiscretions for many years and did nothing despite the tales of exposure in hotel rooms, explicit sexual requests in exchange for the promise of career opportunities, nudity, vulgarity, angry outbursts, and even violent behavior), except for the sporadic secret payoffs.

According to several recent articles published by Hollywood news outlets, Weinstein was mighty, a force of nature with influence well beyond imagination . You didn’t cross him without the risk of physical harm or retaliation. He could make or break you. The commentary that ensued was scathing–“Weinstein didn’t just exert physical power. He also employed legal and professional and economic power. He supposedly had every employee sign elaborate, binding non-disclosure agreements. He gave jobs to people who might otherwise work to bring him down, and gave gobs of money to other powerful people, who knows how much, but perhaps just enough to keep them from listening to ugly rumors that might circulate among young people, among less powerful people.” In another post , the author highlights that Weinstein’s behavior was an “open secret” and “had been going on unchecked.” She writes: “...in an industry as stratified and competitive as Hollywood, when the victimizer has almost godlike power over careers, the factors that dissuade women elsewhere from reporting sexual violence are only magnified…In circumstances like these, it’s the responsibility of the more powerful to fight on behalf of the weak. And the powerful dropped the ball.” Ashley Judd has filed a lawsuit against Harvey Weinstein for sexual harassment and defamatory statements that prevented her from receiving a role in the “Lord of the Rings” movies. Judd claims Weinstein invited her to his hotel room and asked for a massage and to watch him shower. When she refused, he made negative comments about her to the movie director for Lord of Rings and she lost the opportunity.

Weinstein is the perfect showcase of how power imbalance is key to sexual assault: a person in power imposing his will on another who cannot resist or defend herself for fear of retaliation concerning a job, opportunity, or reputation. The Weinstein Company, co-founded by Weinstein and his brother, Bob Weinstein, is rumored to have tolerated (and even facilitated) forced liaisons with women so has found itself under investigation and, for the moment, is cooperating. The board has since fired Weinstein and on March 19, 2018 filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy and released any Weinstein accusers from their nondisclosure agreements. Divisions of the N.Y.P.D., the L.A.P.D., and London’s Metropolitan Police have opened investigations , and women continue to come forward (more than 70 to date) with allegations of sexual harassment and assault. According to reports, Weinstein surrendered himself March 25, 2018, to police in Manhattan, charged with first-degree rape and third-degree rape in one case from 2013, and with first-degree criminal sex act in another case from 2004, and has since been indicted. He is expected to post $1 million dollar bail, wear a monitoring device and surrender his passport. So it turned out, Weinstein, one of Hollywood’s most powerful supporters of women’s rights, is also a private champion of violating women, but in a ray of hope, Weinstein’s legal troubles (more severe with each passing day) may do more for the women’s movement than Weinstein ever did publicly.

Many more directors and actors have been exposed for their deviant behavior, in many cases, known and tolerated by others for decades just like Weinstein. Alleged violators include Hollywood director James Toback who’s accused of incidents “in a hotel room, a movie trailer, a public park and meetings framed as interviews or auditions…typically to dry-hump them or masturbate in front of them, ejaculating into his pants or onto their bodies and then walk away. Meeting over”. The accounts are disturbing and often the incidents, just like those involving Weinstein, were coerced as a requirement to being considered for an opportunity. As of late last year, the number of women who have come forward against Toback exceeds two hundred, including actress Julianne Moore. Another example , Warner Bros. TV Group suspended Andrew Kreisberg, Executive Producer on shows “Supergirl,” “The Flash,” and “Arrow”, amidst allegations that he engaged in a pattern of alleged sexual harassment and inappropriate physical contact over a period of years. Apparently, none of the people who came forward went to HR for fear of repercussions, and attempts by others who were aware of his behavior fell on deaf ears. Kreisberg vehemently denies the allegations.

It was disappointing to learn the sexual allegations about one of our favorite actors, Kevin Spacey, lead of the acclaimed Netflix show “House of Cards”. According to recent press releases, in 1986, when Spacey was 26, he allegedly assaulted 14-year-old Anthony Rapp, today known for his role in the Broadway musical “Rent." Spacey has since apologized on Twitter, blaming alcohol for his actions, and is now facing a series of other allegations, including from employees who have been working recently with him on “House of Cards”.

The consequences for Spacey have been devastating. Netflix has severed all ties with the actor and his role in the blockbuster movie “All the Money in the World” was recast, costing production approximately $3 million to hire Spacey’s replacement. In light of these events, The International Academy is not honoring Kevin Spacey with the 2017 International Emmy Founders Award. More men are coming forward, and Spacey is rumored to be receiving treatment for his behavior. Morgan Freeman, another one of our most favorite actors, has now been accused of inappropriate behavior on many of his movie sets for years, including sexual comments about body parts and clothes and inappropriate touching. His roles include “Driving Miss Daisy,” “Shawshank Redemption,” and “Million Dollar Baby.” Although Freeman has publicly apologized, advertisers who use his powerful voice, including Visa, are suspending commercials where the actor is featured. Freeman is crushed at the accusations and claims that his behavior was not with intent to harm. Louis CK, a well-known comedian (“Parks and Recreation” and “Louie"), was also accused of inappropriate behavior, dating back more than a decade according to five women, including masturbating in front of them even when confronted and told to stop. By late 2017, Louis’s New York premiere of his upcoming movie, “I Love You Daddy”, and his appearance on “The Late Show With Stephen Colbert” were both abruptly canceled, just prior to the news breaking about his sexual deviancy . Louis CK has since admitted to the alleged conduct and expressed remorse for taking advantage of his influence “irresponsibly.”

What about Bill Cosby? Now 80 years old, Bill Cosby was finally found guilty on three counts of aggravated indecent assault in Norristown, Pennsylvania, for drugging and sexually assaulting Andrea Constand at his home in 2004, a woman he was mentoring at the time at Temple University. The first trial in June of 2017 ended in a mistrial after jurors remained deadlocked after six days of deliberations. Constand brought a civil case against Cosby 13 years ago, but charges were not filed by prosecutors until 2015, just shy of the expiration of Pennsylvania’s 12-year statute of limitations. The guilty verdict exemplifies a victory for more than 50 women who have accused Cosby of similar sexual misconduct and is the first high profile conviction since the breaking of the #MeToo movement. Cosby has lost television deals, his reputation as “America’s Dad,” and honorary college degrees (estimated to be more than 60) from Fordham, Marquette, Brown and University of San Francisco to name a few, and is now facing possible jail time of up to ten years for each count.

POSITIVE LAW CHANGES

Tue, 15 Jan 2019 18:14:51 GMT

Laws Relating to Sexual Harassment - Post #MeToo Changes

As a result of the #MeToo movement, a number of changes to laws are being contemplated or should be considered, including the following:

1. Nondisclosure Agreements

Remove mandatory nondisclosure and confidentiality provisions involving sexual harassment claims (and block courts from enforcing such provisions). Barring secrecy would allow predators to be held accountable and would likely discourage them from repeating bad behavior. These types of provisions are used by employers to force silence, protecting the company’s reputation and bottom line.

2. Forced Arbitration Provisions

Remove forced arbitration agreements involving sexual harassment and discrimination claims (and block courts from enforcing such provisions). These agreements are often required as a condition to employment and eliminate the Seventh Amendment right to a jury trial. Employers use these types of agreements to handle workplace disputes internally, avoiding the courts and the high cost of potentially protracted litigation. A bipartisan group of lawmakers—including senators Kirstin Gillibrand of New York and Lindsey Graham of South Carolina, with the assistance of Gretchen Carlson—have introduced a bill for a federal law to end forced arbitration for harassment and gender discrimination, which keeps some sixty million Americans from being able to use the courts to settle cases. The attorneys general of every American state and every US territory have banded together to support this effort.

3. Statute of Limitations

Extend or eliminate statutes of limitations for sexual misconduct or assault cases. Current time periods vary from state to state and appear to be arbitrary. Connecticut, for example, has a five-year of statute of limitations (subject to certain exceptions), while, last year, California became the seventeenth state to eliminate statute of limitations periods for such crimes. The issue regarding statutes of limitations is controversial. Statute of limitations periods are intended to exact a toll on justice by allowing victims proper time to process their traumatic experiences and to file claims, but they are also intended to protect a defendant against stale claims after a certain period of time, within which a diligent person would have accused the defendant. Memories and details fade, and witnesses may disappear, risking wrongful conviction or unfair prosecution.

4. Require Company Reporting

Regular reporting requirements regarding the number of sexual harassment claims filed, settlement amounts, and corrective actions taken would foster accountability and transparency, helping deter bad behavior.

5. Lawsuits under Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964

Title VII should be amended to hold that individual harassers may be sued, not just the corporate employer. If harassers see their own careers, houses, and assets on the line in litigation, that may be a more powerful deterrent than all of the talk shows and corporate sensitivity training combined.

6. Title VII and the Fifteen-Employee Requirement

Change Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 to eliminate the fifteen-employee threshold and include all working people, regardless of field or employment classification.

7. Legislate a 30 Percent Quota

Legislate a required percentage quota for women in leadership positions . According to some surveys, 30 percent is the magic number—“the tipping point at which women stop being a beleaguered minority—tokens, unable to change organizational culture—and serve as effective change agents.”

8. New Tax Cuts and Jobs Act

The Tax Cuts and Jobs Act recently passed by Congress limits the deductions that businesses may take for attorney’s fees or payments of sexual harassment settlements. Under the act, “no deduction shall be allowed . . . .for (1) any settlement or payment related to sexual harassment or sexual abuse if such settlement or payment is subject to a nondisclosure agreement , or (2) attorney’s fees related to such a settlement or payment” (emphasis ours). This new act will hopefully encourage companies to become more diligent in policing sexual harassment behavior and to eliminate the use of nondisclosure agreements in such situations.

Violators in the News: List of Powerful Men Facing Allegations

Tue, 15 Jan 2019 17:54:28 GMT

Sexual harassment in the workplace is certainly nothing new, but it’s safe to say the issue is now, rightfully, taking center stage.

Glamour has updated its list of powerful men who are facing allegations as of December 1, 2018. Take a look and see who is named and what allegations they are facing: "Post-Weinstein, These Are the Powerful Men Facing Sexual Harassment Allegations"

Lesson: Why Mentors are Important

Mon, 17 Dec 2018 17:06:22 GMT

Why Men Should Mentor Women

Captain David Smith, PhD and Brad Johnson, PhD of the U.S. Naval Academy share their perspectives and research from their new book “Athena Rising,” on the lack of good mentors for women and how men should step up and become better mentors.

Lesson: Why Women Are valuable Workplace Contributors

Mon, 12 Nov 2018 06:00:00 GMT

Lesson: Why Women Are valuable Workplace Contributors

As we already note in our book Play Nice, there are a number of studies that highlight the importance of diversity in the workforce and why women in high ranking positions can make a company more profitable. Please see the following links for more information. Harvard Business Review conducted a study finding that firms with more women at the top are more profitable.

In another article published by The Telegraph , the author reviews women as decision makers.

SHE SAID; HE SAID

Mon, 27 Aug 2018 21:56:43 GMT

On this day, Dr. Christine Blasey Ford was called and voluntary appeared to testify in front of the Senate Judiciary Committee to detail her experience of an incident of sexual assault allegedly committed against her by then Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh. According to Dr. Ford, the assault allegedly occurred at a casual gathering at a home in the summer of 1982, more than 36 years ago. She agreed to testify, despite the many threats she received to her person, her family, and her humanity. Her testimony would be a momentous day for the #MeToo Movement and a tremendous test for how she would be treated and perceived. Would she be believed?

As she began her testimony, she appeared sincere, emotional, and intelligent. She offered many times that she wanted to be helpful with the facts. She seemed anxious and scared at times — in her own words “terrified” to tell her story, and as she described the details she could in fact remember, she appeared genuine and compelling. Even believable. However, there were gaps in her story. She could not remember the exact date, home, or specific location of the gathering, she could not remember who drove her to the gathering and who drove her home, and she could not remember who else might have been at the gathering other than Judge Kavanaugh and Mark Judge (who she claims were in the upstairs bedroom where she was assaulted), and her girlfriend Leland Kaiser and another male friend “PJ” who were downstairs with a few other people. Gaps, which sexual assault experts will confirm are typical for sexual assault survivors, especially with the passage of time.

The Republicans on the Senate Judiciary Committee chose to have a sexual assault prosecuting attorney question Dr. Ford during their allotted 5 minute segments. The approach might have been unfortunate. It was difficult for the prosecutor to maintain her momentum in establishing important gaps for consideration. As she pointed out at the end of her questioning, a “Forensic” or “Cognitive” interview is what experts will use to “fill in the gaps” with sexual assault survivors. It helps victims tell their stories with effort to help recall details that may be buried or not easily recalled. The testimony given in 5 minute intervals with Democrat Senators intervening with their comments and questions was not the best approach and did not have much of an impact on challenging Dr. Ford’s memory.

At recess, one thing remained clear. “She said” the incident happened and Dr. Ford was 100% confident it was Brett Kavanaugh who sexually assaulted her. She was emotional and compelling. However, she was not able to provide any corroborating evidence. Mark Judge, Leland, and Patrick PJ Smith, all submitted ‘Affidavits under Penalty for Felony’ that they did not recall any such gathering or any such incident of sexual assault. When asked to comment on this fact, Dr. Ford responded that she was not surprised that Leland or PJ could not remember, after all, “nothing significant” happened to them that day. There were, however, more gaps. Dr. Ford did not know who was paying her legal fees, the exact date of when she was given a lie detector test (which, after further questioning turned out to be limited to a statement she had given regarding her assault), and whether or not she had given her psychiatrists notes about the alleged assault to the news organization that eventually broke the story.

After recess, it would be Brett Kavanaugh’s turn to testify. As expected, “He said” the incident never happened. He was equally credible and compelling. Judge Kavanaugh was emotional—very emotional, and at times raising his voice in anger. His tone was highly criticized as inappropriate for a Supreme Court nominee. What may not have been generally known is that he was criticized a few days earlier for being too reserved and weak during an interview on Fox with Martha MacCallum. In response, he may have adjusted his tone and came out swinging during his testimony. Regardless, his tone was not surprising. After all, he was defending his integrity and impeccable record as a federal judge and the reputation of his family. He has serious support from many women over his lifetime (in high school, college, law school, and during his many years on the bench) and there was no credible pattern of sexually assaulting women. And no, the fact that he “likes beer” does not constitute bad behavior.

As we learned later, the allegations of Dr. Ford were brought by letter to the attention of the ranking member of the Senate Judiciary Committee, Senator Feinstein, more than 6 weeks prior to the time that there would be a vote on the nominee by the Senate Judiciary Committee. According to the Senator, the letter was requested by Dr. Ford to stay confidential. So the letter and the allegations were not disclosed to the committee, the public, or Judge Kavanaugh during any of the ongoing hearings or to the FBI for investigation until the committee hearings had been completed—for 6 weeks. Just prior to the scheduled vote on the nominee, the letter (and the therein allegations) were leaked to the press. Senator Feinstein insists that neither she or her office leaked the letter. As you would expect, the timing of the release appeared suspect and many on the right argued politically motivated by the Democrats to derail or delay the vote on this nominee. Whether or not politically motivated, Senator Feinstein should have advised Dr. Ford that it was her (Feinstein’s) responsibility as a committee member to disclose this new information to the committee. The allegations could have been investigated properly and confidentially and much of the heart ache suffered by both Ford and Kavanaugh families might have been avoided. The argument regarding timing of the release as politically motivated could have been avoided.

As expected, a political fight ensued. The Democrats wanted a delay of vote to conduct a new FBI investigation to see if any of Dr. Ford’s accounts could be corroborated. They wanted Judge Kavanaugh to ask for an FBI investigation to ‘clear his name’. The Republicans were outraged at the handling of Dr. Ford’s letter and refused to call for a new FBI investigation since it would likely delay a vote on the current nominee and (arguably) potentially risk Judge Kavenaugh as nominee. And, none of the prior numerous FBI investigations conducted throughout his career had ever raised such allegations. In the end, a few of the majority members held their votes hostage for an FBI investigation limited in time and scope. Too limited and narrow in scope for the minority. Dr. Ford’s allegations remained uncorroborated.

A giant step back for the #MeToo Movement? What should have been a fair and balanced process for hearing and investigation of a nominee became a political media circus. Dr. Ford’s very serious allegations of sexual assault should have been disclosed to the committee as soon as they surfaced to allow for a thorough investigation for any corroborating evidence. Regardless of her claims, Judge Kavanaugh deserved to be treated with decency and respect in light of his record, claim of innocence, and lack of any credible corroborating evidence or past behavior of sexually harassing or assaulting women. Any nominee deserves our decency and respect and a fair and thorough process, regardless of politics.

The intent of the #MeToo Movement is to shine a bright light on inappropriate behavior, to create awareness and to educate, in hopes of modifying and putting a stop to such behavior going forward. The movement has exposed violators with a history or pattern (spanning years or decades) of sexual harassment and is finally bringing those with known sexual predator behavior to justice. Corroboration, witnesses, and patterns of sexually harassing behavior are very important for a victim to support her allegations - even if she appears compelling. Take detailed notes of the details surrounding any incident and who was in attendance. Tell someone what happened. Get confirmation in writing from any witnesses. Gather corroborating evidence. It will bolster your credibility. As harsh as this sounds, mere allegations (without corroboration) are not sufficient and not fair to the accused, especially if the accused has no credible pattern of supporting behavior.

Dr Ford’s allegations were not handled properly and Judge Kavanaugh was not treated fairly - at the expense of grave harm to the parties involved and their families - and to the #MeToo Movement. Our elected officials should be ashamed of themselves.

WHAT ABOUT THE BOYS CLUB?

Thu, 19 Apr 2018 21:50:41 GMT

In the fourth episode of the NBC mockumentary/cringe comedy darling Parks and Recreation, the series’ main character, Leslie Knope (played by SNL alum Amy Poehler), infiltrates a group of her male coworkers who get together and drink in their office building’s courtyard every Tuesday after work. The episode, titled “Boy’s Club,” follows the hard-working, honest, and almost painfully earnest Leslie—Deputy Director of the Parks Department in the fictional city of Pawnee, Indiana—as she pushes her way into the Boy’s Club one Tuesday evening.

On property paid for by taxpayer dollars—Pawnee City Hall—Leslie’s male counterparts regularly and openly drink alcohol. Knowing this is against the rules but too overwhelmed by her desire to be accepted as a member of the club (due to the city’s history of male-dominated leadership and a crush she has on one of her male colleagues), Leslie joins the guys in the courtyard.

“Politics is full of boy’s clubs, formal and informal,” Leslie tells the documentary crew in a solo scene. As she gestures to a wall full of portraits of men, she continues, “Behind me are all the members of the city council over the past 30 years, and every day, as a woman, I have to walk past this wall of men. It can be very upsetting.”

Leslie breaks a couple more rules as she sees through her infiltration of the Boy’s Club. When the beer runs out in the courtyard, she opens a gift basket that exceeds the value city employees are allowed to accept in order to obtain wine and keep the party going. While she’s hangin’ with the guys, the Parks & Rec department’s underage intern gets her hands on some of the wine—and consumes it in a video she posts online.

Ever honest and earnest, Leslie admits to breaking the rules in an email to everyone at city hall the following morning. A series of related fallouts—the intern’s online video, her boss’s wrath, a disciplinary hearing—sinks her into a humiliating and ever-deepening hole, one she desperately attempts to dig her way out of.

Leslie’s reprieve comes only when her boss, the openly anti-government Parks Director Ron Swanson, gruffly demands an end to the city’s lengthy disciplinary hearings—brought on by Leslie’s own admissions and the intern’s online drinking—about Leslie’s behavior. Played by Nick Offerman, Ron’s character throughout the series is hyperbolically and grossly masculine, if at times endearing.

Leslie’s painful disciplinary process ends only when her male boss comes to the rescue; even then, she gets a letter in her personnel file.

At no point do we see the guys from the Boy’s Club disciplined for their regular consumption of alcohol at city hall.

This was a bizarre turn of events, considering that within the first couple moments of the series premiere, Leslie tells the documentary crew, “Government isn’t just a boys’ club anymore. Women are everywhere. It’s a great time to be a woman in politics...Leslie Knope’s stopping for no one.”

If government is no longer a boys’ club, as Leslie says in the very first episode, then why weren’t the members of Pawnee City Hall’s boys’ club called in for disciplinary hearings? After all, Leslie made her intentions to infiltrate their club clear in her day-after confession email, and Ron Swanson even told the disciplinary committee that the boys’ club meets every week in the courtyard to drink and hang out.

True to the genre of cringe comedy, over the course of seven seasons, Leslie faces countless obstacles her male counterparts don’t. She’s forced out of achievements she worked tirelessly to obtain, while her toxic and ludicrous male counterparts sit on their laurels, smirking at the unfair treatment meted out to Leslie. She and her female peers are often sexually harassed by men who are never disciplined for their behavior. One notable, serial sexual harasser and abuser of his government connections is the show’s character Tom Haverford, the Parks Department admin played by Aziz Ansari, who has come under fire in real life for his alleged sexual misconduct on a date . Adding insult to injury, Leslie also faces typical questions that men are never asked: Why isn’t she married? Why doesn’t she have children? Does she even care about her family, or does she only care about her career?

Her enthusiasm for public service is frequently berated and even punished. The series does a painfully fantastic job of chronicling Leslie’s obstacles as a woman who learns, time and again, that her hopeful view of women in politics in the series premiere is not only untrue, but often flat-out discouraged, denied, and treated with open hostility. The show is saved by Leslie’s indomitable enthusiasm in the face of countless emotional beatings and her eventual, hard-won successes.

Nine years after the “Boy’s Club” episode, has much changed in the real world?

Doesn’t seem like it: a simple Google search of “boys’ clubs at work” yields dozens of articles, opinion pieces, and stories about “good ol’ boys’ clubs” and how to handle them. Even a cursory scan of these pieces indicates women are still battling for their place at work and contending with male-dominated workplaces and cultures.

In the good, if misleadingly titled Forbes piece , “The End of the Boys’ Club,” tech company CEO Tom Gillis laments the staggeringly low number of women in the tech business — an industry that’s supposed to represent “everything new, but in many ways it’s still an old boys’ club.” Gillis proffers that radical steps must be taken to change this, and the tech industry needs to step in to make opportunities in the tech industry more plentiful for women.

However, simply getting more women into an industry that’s so male-dominated, like high-tech, isn’t enough. In nearly every industry vertical (except maybe education and nursing), women find themselves outnumbered by men. This extends from modestly paid government jobs to the well-paid and opportunity-rich jobs in the high-tech industry.

In a piece called “7 Ways to Excel in a Male-Dominated Workplace” on the career advice website themuse.com, investment banker Jane Fang gives seven “practical tips for thriving in the office—even when the gender ratio isn’t in your favor.” And what’s #2 on Fang’s list? “Beer is for Bonding,” in which she advises women to bond with their male coworkers by drinking with them outside of work. (Perhaps she never saw the fateful episode of Parks and Recreation in which this tactic goes terribly awry?) She also advises women to avoid being too easily offended; in her line of work, she became a trusted colleague after allowing men to be themselves without having to worry whether she’d report them to HR. In an appended note, she says “there is a line” (although she doesn't explain what or where that line is) and that “sexual harassment is never OK.”

We happen to agree with Fang, however, her advice does not come without potential criticism. It’s not always safe for women to drink with groups of men, and not everyone is a drinker, so “Beer is for Bonding” not only potentially excludes those who do not drink, but it’s also potentially dangerous. If you choose to drink, know your limitations and don’t be that girl who gets drunk. If you do not drink, order an alcohol-free drink. The fact that you are joining the group for bonding is often sufficient for your male counterparts. Advising women — particularly young women, new to the workforce, who read this article because they’re genuinely seeking guidance — to avoid being too easily offended and to let men be themselves, may in fact result in women letting too much bad behavior go unreported at work. Use your common sense and choose your battles but don’t be afraid to speak up (gently, if possible) if comments are particularly offensive.

Let’s go back to Leslie’s desire to be accepted by the Boy’s Club. Was it because she wanted to be considered equally tough and successful and viewed having the same leadership qualities as her male counterparts? Did she simply want to be liked and respected by her male counterparts? Did she want to hang with the guys because she enjoyed their company? If you work in a male dominated environment, all of the foregoing can be true. What is most important, however, is gaining the support of your male colleagues if you want to succeed in a male dominated environment. That is a fact.

In a Psychology Today article , “Women and the Good Ole Boys Club,” Dr. Audrey Nelson discusses the necessity of women having male networkers and male mentors to get ahead in business. This advice is important for your career if you are in a male dominated environment and learning how to communicate with your male colleagues can make or break your career. We agree 100% with Nelson. You will need the advice and guidance of men and you can obtain this support without compromising your integrity. Nelson advises women not to whine when they’re left out of opportunities at work, going on to say, “The good ol’ boys club needs to know when it crosses the line. Set boundaries and address issues from a position of strength, not weakness. Don’t say what they did wrong (whining and negative); say what you want them to do (positive).” We agree. Ask to be included and explain how your contribution and participation will make the opportunity at work more efficient and successful.

Nelson’s advice centers on retraining male coworkers with positive guidance. This will get women in the workplace farther and garner their male coworkers’ respect—and encourage them to be more supportive of their female colleagues. Allowing men to be themselves with redirection from you as their female co-worker when bad behavior occurs may make for more trusting working relations. The men may feel less worried about including you into their inner circle and are more likely to help you with your career (including providing networking opportunities, promoting your abilities with senior executives and bosses, and recommending you for promotion).

We know from our own long careers, as well as from the careers of other women, that remaining silent or laughing with the boys as they engage in workplace misconduct is sometimes how a woman gets in good with the boys’ club. However, it’s tricky: saying nothing or laughing along may be good for your workplace relationship with the guys, but it’s also condoning, if not outright approving of, their bad behavior. There is no single good answer. If you silently jot down the instances of bad behavior and turn them into human resources, or if you openly confront the guys about their behavior, you risk getting shunned from the group and, probably, from advancement and inclusion in actual work opportunities (that should be decided on merit and not on being one of the guys, but we know this isn’t how it works — yet). Being gentle yet firm, and employing humor, may be the best course of action; this still requires women to smile through their discomfort while letting the guys know they’re being disrespectful and reminding them they might get in trouble if the wrong person overheard their remarks or witnessed their behavior.

As women, we have to draw a firm line to create a boundary of respect, and we have to let men know they’re crossing every time they do it. Until our culture, both in and out of the workplace, adopts more equality-based, progressive approaches to having both men and women in the Sandbox of the working environment, we have to find a way to navigate the Boys’ Clubs to benefit our careers.

Finding the courage to let men know gently (and in certain cases with humor) when they are crossing the line is a good first step.

STEP IN, STEP UP, SPEAK UP 📢

Thu, 05 Apr 2018 21:37:10 GMT

“Research reports that bystanders are present in about 30% of rapes, threats of rape or unwanted sexual contact, and yet most people don’t know how to intervene,” Ella Fairon told Teen Vogue . “We have created all the aspects of #BAEcode so that there will be no question of how you can help. Online or in person, using humor or distraction, snapchat or a GIF, everyone will have the tools to become a BAE*stander and save someone’s life today.”

GAME ON is the centerpiece of SafeBAE's 2018 Sexual Assault Awareness Campaign - BAEcode. The campaign teaches and empowers teens to prevent sexual harassment and assault in their own peer groups. The campaign provides activist tools and

presenter, parent and teen guide are available at www.safebae.org/materials .

*SafeBAE nor Play Nice! condone, encourage, or endorse underage drinking.

The concept was developed by co-founder Ella Fairon, WITH teens FOR teens, to portray everyday situations and give them easy strategies they can use to help them step-in, whether in-person or online. The entire production team (writing, producing, directing, casting) was comprised of high school and college students. We know that middle and high schoolers have the power and responsibility to change the conversation, shift culture, and make our communities safer and free from sexual violence.

Meet Claire from HR

bkimichik@gmail.com (Brigitte Kimichik) — Sun, 31 Dec 2017 17:17:16 GMT

Claire from HR (Cecily Strong) ensures that Colin Jost knows what constitutes sexual harassment in the workplace.

There's no wrong answers here, just super wrong answers.

Sexual Harassment Satire

Sun, 10 Dec 2017 19:15:03 GMT

SEXUAL HARASSMENT SATIRE ON STEROIDS:

The revelations of the #MeToo Movement have been daunting and depressing. Progress has been slow and it will take time to implement the changes needed to eradicate sexual harassment. In the interim, our late night comedians are finding ways to distract or educate with humor. Here are some favorites:

Watch 'Last Week Tonight' with John Oliver, where he takes on Workplace Sexual Harassment with the help of expert Anita Hill.

Check out SNL's Harassment Awards!

W atch former ‘Tonight Show’ host, Jay Leno, take over the monologue for Jimmy Fallon to tell sexual harassment jokes. Video can be seen in the Huffington Post article.

The women of 'SNL' and guest host Saorsin Ronan band together to tackle the influx of sexual misconduct allegations in "Welcome to Hell."

From the Sandbox | The Sandbox Series | Workplace & Campus Issues Blog

WHEN FLIRTING AT WORK TURNS IN TO AN HR COMPLAINT: WHAT PROFESSIONALS SHOULD DO NEXT

He Thought She Was Flirting… Then HR Called: What To Do When Workplace Signals Get Misread

Why Misunderstandings Happen

If You Receive a Complaint, Do Not Panic

The Bigger Lesson: Workplace Signals Are Not Always Clear

Why Respect and Boundaries Matter

WORKPLACE DATING IN 2026: SMART MOVE OR CAREER RISK?

WORKPLACE DATING IN 2026: SMART MOVE OR CAREER RISK?

Why Workplace Relationships Are More Complicated Today

The Power Imbalance Problem

Companies now recognize that when a relationship ends, the organization bears the risk:

The Reputation Reality (Especially for Women)

The Bigger Cultural Issue

WOMEN ONLY WORK EVENT: DISCRIMINATORY AGAINST MEN?

WOMEN ONLY WORK EVENTS: DISCRIMINATORY AGAINST MEN? ﻿

Legal Backlash Over Women-Only Work Events — What It Means for DEI & Career Strategy

So What’s Really Going On?

Why This Matters for Women & Organizations

What This Means for Career Strategy

Final Thought

Career Goals and Practical Resolutions for Women in Business (2026)

What I Wish I Knew at 25: Career Goals and Practical Resolutions for Women in Business (2026)

#1 Set Clear Career Goals and Follow Through (Career Planning for Women)

#2 Build Skills and Hold Yourself Accountable for Career Growth

#3 Document Your Achievements to Support Promotions and Raises

#4 Practice Speaking Up at Work to Increase Visibility and Influence

#5 Advocate for Yourself at Work Without Fear of Backlash

#6: Find Mentors, Sponsors, and Feedback That Accelerate Careers

#7 Build a Professional Network Before You Think You Need One

#8 Build Career Visibility Intentionally (Not Accidentally)

#9: Protect Work–Life Balance as a Long-Term Career Strategy

A Final Thought

WHAT 2025 TAUGHT WOMEN ABOUT WORKPLACE CHANGE

What 2025 Taught Women About Workplace Change

HOW TO ASK FOR A RAISE THE SMART WAY

A Guide for Women on How to Ask For A Raise

1. Start With the Data: Build a Fact-Based Case

2. Track Your Wins — and Share Them

3. Timing Matters — Ask at the Right Moment

PREPARING FOR A PERFORMANCE REVIEW TO ADVANCE YOUR CAREER

HOW WOMEN CAN PREPARE FOR PERFORMANCE REVIEWS TO ADVANCE THEIR CAREERS

Mistake #1: Believing Your Work Will Speak for Itself

Mistake #2: Going Into the Review Emotionally Unprepared

Mistake #3: Underestimating the Power of Self-Advocacy

Mistake #4: Accepting Vague Feedback Without Challenging It

Mistake #5: Not Bringing Up Your Expanded Role or Invisible Work

Mistake #6: Thinking You Need to Be 100% Ready Before Asking for a Raise or Promotion

Mistake #7: Forgetting That a Review Is a Two-Way Conversation

Your End-of-Year Performance Review Is Something to Leverage, Not Fear.

Three Ways to Walk Into Your Performance Review With Confidence

Three Ways to Walk Into Your End-of-Year Performance Review with Confidence (Especially for Women in Male-Dominated Workplaces)

1. Create a “Success List” Before Your Review (Your Confidence Builder & Negotiation Tool)

2. Advocate for Yourself Clearly—and With Data

Know what you want to do next.

Own your presence.

Turn Tough Feedback Into a Growth Roadmap

WHAT I WISHED I KNEW AT 25 ABOUT THE IMPORTANCE OF PERFORMANCE REVIEWS

What I Wish I Knew at 25 About the Importance of Performance Reviews

Why Your Performance Review Matters More Than You Think

What I Wish I Knew at 25 (So You Don’t Make the Same Mistakes)

1. You must document your wins all year long

2. Your boss may not know everything you’ve done

3. The performance review is the place to advocate for career growth

4. Negative feedback isn’t a career death sentence, it’s a roadmap

First, stay calm, attentive, and professional. Thank the reviewer for his or her feedback. Then, ask:

5. The performance review is a conversation - not a verdict.

Play Nice Receives 5 Star Review from Reader Views

Play Nice Receives 5 Stars from Reader Views

Play Smart Receives 5 Star Rating from Reader Views

Play Smart Receives 5 Stars from Reader Views

Award-Winning Guide to Combatting Workplace Sexual Harassment

Empowering Transformation in the Workplace: An Award-Winning Approach

A Beacon of Recognition and Hope

Dismantling the Complexities of Harassment

Actionable Strategies for Change

The Power of the Sandbox Metaphor

A Vision for the Future

Celebrating Literary Excellence: Play Nice Receives Reader Views Literary Award

A New Chapter in Independent Literature: Authors' Journey to Literary Recognition

WOMEN ONLY WORK EVENTS: DISCRIMINATORY AGAINST MEN?

What I Wish I Knew at 25:
Career Goals and Practical Resolutions for Women in Business (2026)

What I Wish I Knew at 25 About the Importance

of Performance Reviews

TEXAS EXPANDS SEXUAL HARASSMENT PROTECTIONS FOR ALL EMPLOYEES EFFECTIVE SEPTEMBER 1, 2021!!

Governor Cuomo resigns with another video!!

ALLEGED HAZING GETS CHEERLEADING SQUAD SUSPENDED!!

RISE AND FALL OF GOVERNOR CUOMO?

MARINE’S HEARTBREAKING VIDEO GOES VIRAL‼️

COVID-19 - INVES TIGATING SEXUAL HARASSMENT COMPLAINTS IN THE REMOTE ENVIRONMENT

Sexual Harassment in the Remote Workplace: How Training Can Respond

GENDER EQUALITY - THE EFFECTS OF COVID-19