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IMPORTANT UPSTANDER TIPS FOR THE BYSTANDER

Brigitte Kimichik • August 25, 2020

UPSTANDER TIPS FOR THE BYSTANDER

Intervening in a safe and gentle manner can be a powerful show of support for the recipient of objectionable behavior. A simple comment from you might have impact, such as: “Hey, not cool! Be respectful" or "Stop! You are making her (or him) feel uncomfortable!" If you are at work (or on a video call), add: "You are violating company policy!”



Speaking up and taking a stand might underscore your leadership qualities. Staying silent might make you complicit.This is especially important if you are a man. Men will listen to men!

 

Here are some other Upstander tips: 

  • If a colleague keeps making inappropriate comments, pull him aside and alert him to the potential consequences of his behavior; 
  • If you are worried about addressing the behavior directly, ask his superior to talk to him; 
  • If you encounter a group of frequent violators, make the time to educate them on the existence of applicable company policies and potential consequences for violations. If you are a superior, this is your obligation; 
  • If you sense a target of the bad behavior (whether bullying, racism, discrimination, or sexual harassment) is uncomfortable, find a reason to extract her or him from the situation ("I have a report to show you," "Are you ready for the conference call?" "Do you have a minute for a question?"); 
  • If you discover that a colleague becomes visibly uncomfortable in the presence of another colleague, find a time to talk to her or him. She may be suffering from bullying, racism, discrimination, or sexual harassment from that person and may need help;
  • If you have been a witness to objectionable behavior, offer your assistance to help the victim. You may be able to talk to the violator, his superior, or accompany the victim to Human Resources for support;
  • If you determine that your witness account might be helpful to the victim, document the incident in detail and offer to be a witness if the victim elects to report; 
  • If you are a senior employee, an executive, a human resources representative, or the boss, set the example of being an upstander and emphasize the importance and urgency of doing the same; 
  • If you are a senior employee, an executive, a human resources representative, or the boss, encourage reporting to superiors and HR if necessary, especially if the behavior is offensive, persistent, or repetitive. 
  • 

Take the time to hit that pause button and evaluate your work culture for toxic masculinity, sexual harassment, and racism. Educating employees and company leaders regularly and effectively regarding prevention is likely to engender a more healthy workplace of dignity and respect and ultimately improve the bottom line concerning health-related costs and profitability. 



#TimesUp. Let’s #playnice. For more info on this topic and other related issues, check out “Play Nice - Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace,” and join us at www.thesandboxseries.com. We wrote Play Nice to educate both women AND men—on the importance of drawing a firm line of respect and professionalism, and speaking up as a bystander. 



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